Scattered Pieces
by meggz106
Summary: Nawaki is dead and Tsunade is distraught. How does she cope with the fact that her little brother is dead and who does she turn to for comfort?
1. Chapter 1

She stood there among her comrades, feeling as if her entire world was caving in on her, crushing her dreams for a future without wars and destroying her very being. Her hair was drenched due to the rain that was falling ever so heavily. It was as if the heavens were weeping along with her, mourning the untimely death of her dear little brother...

_Nawaki Senju was just a twelve year old boy and was an inexperienced genin. A little boy like him should not have been involving himself in the raging war between the great nations but he was always a rambunctious and eager child so he couldn't help but include himself in the bloodshed. Tsunade, his older sister thought that he was in the safety of the jounin ninjas in charge of keeping the civilians and children of the village safe in the secret underground hideouts, designed especially for war, but little did she know that her brother escaped and tried to help in whatever way he could in the war. On the battlefield, he spotted an enemy and decided to run after him to pursue him. But while he was running, he accidentally stepped on a hidden bomb in the ground and was blown to bits and pieces. Now he was a lifeless slab, barely recognizable due to his bloody appearance on an examining table in one of the medical huts. _

_Tsunade was at home when that unfortunate event occurred. She was getting ready to participate in the war with her teammates when she saw one of Jiraiya's messenger frogs appear at her bedroom window. Jiraiya was one of her childhood teammates as well as one of her closest friends. Together with Orochimaru, they made up the Three Legendary Sannin of the Leaf Village. She walked over to her window and opened it so that the frog could get out of the rain and deliver whatever message Jiraiya's sent for her. She thought that the message would just be another invitation to go out with him and if it was, she would reject it immediately and pound him into the ground when she saw him. Jiraiya has always liked Tsunade but she would always reject his advances. However, he kept trying because she was more than just a pretty face to him. She retrieved the scroll that was securely fastened on the frog's back and opened it to read its contents._

_Tsunade, _

_You need to get down to the medical hut closest to the Academy. Something terrible happened to Nawaki. _

_-Jiraiya._

The moment she finished reading the short letter, she began to tremble out of fright. She didn't understand how something bad could happen to him when he was supposed to be safe in the hideaways. She ran to the door and quickly put on her shoes and ran out her house as quickly as she could. She didn't even care that the rain was pouring down on her and drenching her from head to he was seriously hurt then she could help him because she was the best medical ninja out there. She just hoped that she wasn't too late.

* * *

She was too late. Her brother was dead and there was nothing she could do about it. She wasn't crying because she would not allow herself to believe that he was actually gone. She was panting hard out of pure exhaustion from running there so fast but her tiredness did not stop her for moving off from her stationary position to begin to enter the room where her lifeless brother was lying. She wanted to see him, to touch him, just to be with him. Alive or dead, she didn't want him to be alone in that cold, dark room. A gentle hand rested upon her shoulder that stopped her in her tracks. She looked up to see Jiraiya with a solemn, sympathetic look on his face.

"No Tsunade, it's best if you don't look." He said softly,trying his best not to allow her to fall apart right then and there. He knew how hard it would be for her to accept the death of Nawaki. She loved him to death and did everything for him. After her parents died, she was the one who raised him so they shared an extremely close bond. But now he was gone and their bond was now non existent.

"What's the difference? She wouldn't even be able to recognize her little brother. The way the body is so-"

"Silence Orochimaru!" Jiraiya shouted at his teammate. Tsunade did not need to know the details of how disheveled the body was to make her feel worse about the entire situation. But Orochimaru was insensitive so he continued.

"This is what happens at war. People die and little children foolishly run out onto the battlefield,feeling as if they can actually defeat the enemy and end up getting themselves killed." Orochimaru said in his usual uncaring tone. He reached into his pocket and pulled out her inherited necklace with a crystal pendant that she gave to her brother on the day of his twelfth birthday, "What a pity, especially after receiving such a lovely gift." He held out the necklace so that the pendant could dangle before Tsunade's hazel eyes, glossy from tears refusing to fall.

Her heart skipped a beat after seeing the necklace. That confirmed for her that he was indeed dead and never coming back. She buried her face in her palms and dropped to her knees, sobbing uncontrollably. Jiraiya immediately went to her aid and comforted her by placing one of his hands on her back and the other on her shoulder. His hands shook with each of her violent cries. He has never seen her cry like this before and it absolutely broke his heart to hear her screams and see her so distraught. If he could erase all her pain and sadness, he would. But this was the outcome of war and there was nothing he could do to change that.

Orochimaru approached his teammates who were on the ground and smirked at the sight, "How foolish can you two be?" He started and Jiraiya glared at him with utter disgust in his eyes, "Death is the inevitable in the Shinobi world. Learn to accept that and don't allow yourself to become crippled by it." He threw the necklace before his weeping teammate, allowing it to drop to the floor in front of her and left the building.

Jiraiya felt his anger rise and he rose to his feet to catch up to his fellow teammate. He stood in the rain and managed to get Orichimaru to stop walking away and listen to what he had to say, "Orochimaru how could you be so cold to her?! Her brother just died, she's hurting right now and you couldn't even offer any words of comfort to her! She's our comrade how could you?!" He said with fury spitting out of his voice.

Orochimaru laughed, "The sooner she comes to grips with it, the better off she will be." He said before turning his back to the white-haired man, "And you." He started, "You've always been in love with her but it would be in your best interest to stay away from her. Love is a ridiculous phenomenon in the ninja world and it will only get yourself killed. Because with love comes rejection and with rejection comes pain. Once you experience pain you become weak. Weaklings cannot survive in this world." He said before walking off, "Remember that."

Jiraiya watched as he walked away from him and disregarded everything he said. He turned back to the hut and saw Tsunade, still on the ground, crying her eyes out. She needed him now more than ever and he would not leave her. Even if he became a weakling, he would never stop loving her.

"Nawaki!" Tsunade screamed through tears while gripping her necklace tightly. Jiraiya came running to her side and enveloped her in a tight hug. He kept hugging her, feeling as if his warmth could erase her pain but it did nothing to help her. She pushed him away, "Get off of me!" She yelled and rose, wobbly to her feet, shaking like a leaf in the wind.

"I'm just trying to help you Tsunade." He said apologetically. He should have known not to hug her. A simple pat on the shoulder was all she would allow but he felt as if that was not effective at all and all he wanted to do was help her through this painful time.

"I don't need your help! I don't need anybody's help!" She yelled through tears.

Jiraiya got off of the floor and moved closer to her but she backed away from him, "Your brother just died, you're going to need somebody to help you get through this."

"No I don't! I'll be fine on my own." She said stubbornly.

"Everybody needs somebody. Even you."

"Just leave me alone!" She said as the tears ran down her cheeks like a waterfall. She ran into the rain and went home, leaving Jiraiya there, standing in the rain.

* * *

After his complete and utter rejection from Tsunade, Jiraiya went immediately over to the Hokage mansion to inform the third Hokage who was also his sensei of the tragedy that occurred just a few moments ago. Jiraiya would be lying if he said that he wasn't deeply hurt by yet another one of Tsunade's rejections but this time it was entirely different. He wasn't trying to make romantic advances on her, all he wanted to do was be there for her as a friend and she would not have it. He would not give up though. He would give her the time and space that she needed but if there was ever a day that she would come to him for comfort, he would be there for her, waiting with open arms, ready to receive her.

He knocked twice before he got the permission to enter the Hokage's office. Sarutobi was busy looking out the window, watching his village become drenched by the seemingly never ending rainfall. He turned around to see his student, soaked due to the rain but wore a solemn expression with a hint of hurt on his face.

"Jiraiya, I didn't expect to see you here." The old man said and Jiraiya stepped further into the room, "Is everything alright?"

Jiraiya looked at the ground and shook his head, silently telling his mentor that everything was not okay.

Hiruzen took a deep breath, dreading to hear the problem. As the Hokage it was dreadful to hear about the misfortunes of the people of his village but now they were in war so the news that he was expecting was the death of either a Shinobi or a civilian, "Tell me what happened then."

Jiraiya looked at his mentor with a straight face, "It's Tsunade-"

"Tsunade?! Please tell me that she's okay!" The third said, interrupting Jiraiya. If anything bad happened to his only female student he didn't know what he would do. She was like a daughter to him so he only wanted to protect her and ensure that she was okay. After all, he was indebted to her grand-uncle since he taught him everything he knows now.

"Tsunade's not doing so well but that's because her brother Nawaki passed away on the battlefield." Jiraiya explained.

Hiruzen rubbed his temples in frustration, "That poor boy, he should have stayed out of this war." He started, "And Tsunade, she must be distraught."

"She is. I have never seen her like this before."

"She's going to need somebody to help her get through this. This can't be easy for her since she loved that boy unconditionally and with all her heart." Hiruzen said and paused a moment to think about what he should do to help his student, "Jiraiya, you should try to-"

"I already did but she rejected me. She said that she doesn't need any help but I know that's a lie. Tsunade has too much pride to let her walls down and allow people to help her." Jiraiya said in frustration.

Hiruzen grumbled, clearly frustrated by this mess but then took a calming breath, realizing that there was nothing he could do but try to end this war quickly, "Then let her be."

"What?"

"You know Tsunade. She'll ask for help if she wants to. If she does, do your best to help her through this. But if she doesn't, leave the situation as it is. Understood?"

Jiraiya couldn't fathom the thought of leaving Tsunade to cope with the death of her younger brother all by herself. The pain she's going through must be tremendous and extremely heart wrenching. All Jiraiya wanted to do was help her but he knew that if he pushed her, he could end up losing her forever. He sighed unhappily and agreed to do as his sensei said, "Yes sir."

Hiruzen sensed that all was not well with Jiraiya. He knew that the toad sage always liked Tsunade and soon his feelings turned into love. To be rejected by her when he only wanted to help must have been devastating but to hear that he shouldn't try to do anything for her must really hurt. The old man walked over to his student and laid a gentle hand upon his shoulder, "Look Jiraiya, I know this must be hard for you but it's for the best."

"Yeah I know sensei. I'm fine, really." He lied. He was not at all fine. He was the exact opposite of fine.

"Okay." Hiruzen removed his hand from his student's shoulder, "I will visit Tsunade tomorrow, extend my condolences and discuss funeral plans with her."

Jiraiya looked up at his mentor with shock evident in his face, "Funeral plans? Don't you think it's a little too soon for that?"

He shook his head and began to explain his reason for an early funeral, "The faster it is done, the faster things will go back to being normal. We are at war and we need Tsunade out on the battlefield as soon as possible. So as soon as she recovers from this, the better it is for the village and our victory in the war."

He couldn't believe the words that were coming out of the Hokage's mouth. He was starting to sound just like Orochimaru and that only angered Jiraiya when he remembered how cold he was to Tsunade, "Don't you think that's a little bit insensitive? Sensei, her brother just died. A quick funeral won't help her to get over it!"

"I agree that it is quite insensitive and I hate to be doing this to Tsunade but I am also the Hokage and I must make decisions that will benefit the village. My predecessors entrusted the well being of the village to me and I can't let them down. Tsunade is one of our best Shinobi and we need her in this war. Do you understand?" Hiruzen explained. There was much sense in what he was saying and Jiraiya understood it all.

"I understand. You're making this decision as the Hokage but I'm sure that if you weren't the Hokage, you wouldn't do this, am I right?"

"Yes. Tsunade's happiness is very important to me." Hiruzen said with complete honesty. Nobody could deny the important place Tsunade had in the Hokage's life.

"Okay." Jiraiya said and left the room.

He made his way through the empty, wet streets of the village to his apartment. On his way home, he passed by Tsunade's apartment building and saw that no lights were on in her home. He just hoped that she was asleep in bed instead of sitting alone in the darkness, crying her eyes out. He took a deep breath and looked away to continue his journey home. Despite the fact that it was raining heavily, he walked in a slow, steady pace, as if it wasn't raining at all. He didn't care that he was getting soaked again, his mind was too set on Tsunade to think about anything else. He wished that Nawaki was still alive not only for Tsunade's sake but for his as well. He liked the boy very much and he was sure that the genin liked him as well. They used to eat ramen together and Jiraiya would help him with his shadow clone jutsu. He was even going to teach him the summoning jutsu. Nawaki was a rambunctious one, much like Jiraiya was at that age so he couldn't help but like him. It was indeed a pity that he was no longer alive and Jiraiya cursed the war for that.

He was finally home. He shed his wet clothes and dressed himself in a comfortable white t-shirt and dark blue sweat pants. He ran a dry cotton towel through his hair and went into his bed after. He laid awake for quite some time as his mind kept wandering over to Tsunade, wondering what she was doing and if she was okay. He concluded that he was not going to sleep at all that night and allowed himself to think about his grief-stricken teammate.

* * *

_Tsunade opened her eyes to find herself standing in an open, grassy field. The grass was at a knee high length and with each movement she made, the tall blades of grass tickled the exposed parts of her legs and toes. Directly in front of her in the distance stood a large oak tree. The sun above, pelted her with it's strong rays so she walked the distance over to the tree to escape the wrath of the sun. She sat under the tree that provided her with comfortable shade and wondered how she came to be in this field. She knew for a fact that a field like this did not exist in the leaf village nor in any other village she visited. However, she was not panicked because she felt at peace sitting there in the grassy field, watching the grass sway in the wind, listening to the birds chirp happily in the branches above her and looking at the clouds float by above in the light blue sky. She felt completely relaxed, unlike how she felt upon hearing that her brother died. This field represented happiness unlike the Leaf Village that was war stricken and so depressing that even the sky wept along with her._

_She allowed herself to doze off but as she just closed her eyes, she heard a crunching sound, as if somebody was walking on the dried leaves on the ground close by her. Her eyes shot open and she looked in the direction of the noise only to see a young boy, around twelve years old with spiky brown hair and rosy cheeks looking back at her with a wide smile plastered on his face._

_"N-Nawaki..." She muttered out. She felt her heart beat wildly in her chest, her palms becoming sweaty and felt as if her throat was closing up, restraining her breathing. She could not possibly be looking at her brother right now. He was dead so this boy before her must be an illusion. Illusion or not, she was looking at the face of her beloved brother and because of that, she couldn't prevent the tears from forming in her honey colored eyes._

_"Hi big sister!" He smiled and ran over to her to embrace her in a tight hug that was more of a squeeze than a loving gesture. He started to laugh out of complete happiness and looked at his sister's face only to see tears streaming down her cheeks, "Why are you crying Tsunade? Did I hurt you when I hugged you?" He asked and sat in front of his older sister._

_She wiped away her tears and laughed a bit, feeling somewhat embarrassed to be crying like a baby in front of her little brother, "It's just that I'm so happy to see you." She hugged him again and ruffled his hair, "I missed you, you little rascal." _

_"Tsunade!" He shouted in annoyance and shook his head in an attempt to get his sister to stop ruffling his hair, "I'm a man now so you can't be ruffling my hair like that like I'm some little kid." He grumbled and folded his arms across his chest._

_Tsunade laughed at his statement, "You will always be a little kid in my eyes." She teased and stuck out her tongue at him._

_He quickly forgave her and stuck his tongue out at her as well. He saw the crystal necklace dangling from Tsunade's neck and smiled softly, "I really wanted to keep that but it looks better on you." He said as he pointed to the precious necklace of his grandfather._

_Tsunade looked down at her necklace and remembered that she gave it to him on his birthday which was only a day ago. She knew how much he admired it and felt bad that he could no longer have it, "You can wear it for a while." She said as she lifted the necklace over her head and put it over Nawaki's head, "After all, it was your birthday present." _

_He took the crystal pendant in his hand and admired it as it sparkled in the sunlight. It was a piece of treasure and he was proud to be wearing it, "It was the best present ever." He started, "Grandpa died before I was born so I never knew him. Can you tell me about him?" Nawaki longed to meet his grandfather but that was not possible. He only wished that he was born earlier so that he would have the opportunity to get to know his grandfather._

_"Okay." Tsunade said then thought about what to say for a few seconds, "As you know his name was Hashirama Senju and he was the man who built the Leaf Village. He was the leader of our clan and the strongest Shinobi of all time. Everybody respected him but I just saw him as my funny grandpa. He taught me how to gamble and our grandmother used to scold him for that. I remember one time I played cards with grandpa and uncle Tobirama and of course I ended up losing. Grandpa was care free and liked to have fun. He was great and I was devastated when he died but his will still lives on and it always will." Tsunade said and smiled upon remembering her dear grandfather._

_"Grandpa sounds like an awesome guy." Nawaki said, beaming with pride._

_"He was." Tsunade agreed. There would be no ninja like Hashirama Senju because he was the best._

_Suddenly, the happy look on Nawaki's face turned into one of sadness and this did not go unnoticed by Tsunade._

"What's wrong Nawaki?" She asked feeling concerned by just looking at the boy's face.

_Nawaki removed the necklace from around his neck and handed it back to Tsunade, "Here you go."_

_Tsunade looked at the necklace that Nawaki placed in her hand and became confused. Just a while ago he was so happy to be wearing the necklace and he hasn't even been wearing it for more than a few minutes so she couldn't understand why he didn't want to wear it any longer, "You can wear it for longer. I don't mind." _

_Nawaki shook his head, "I have to go now." He said and suddenly a bright light appeared behind him, "We never got to say goodbye so this is our chance to do so." He rose to his feet, "I'm sorry I went out into the war so recklessly but I just wanted to help my village. I know I caused you so much pain and I'm sorry."_

_Tsunade's eyes grew wide with fear, "No Nawaki, you can't leave now, you just got here!" Tears returned to her eyes and fell down her cheeks rapidly as she begged her brother not to leave again._

_"It's time to say goodbye Tsunade, my time is up and I have to leave." Nawaki said calmly and started to glow with a radiant white light, "Perhaps now I can meet grandpa." He smiled._

_"No Nawaki! I don't want to say goodbye yet! You just got here, it's too soon! Please stay!" She cried._

_"I want you to know that I love you. You were the best big sister anyone could ask for and I'm going to miss you so much. But please promise me that you'll be okay and that you'll find happiness."_

_"I'm begging you, please stay!" She was now hysterical but Nawaki remained calm._

_"Goodbye Tsunade." He said and walked into the light and disappeared before her frantic eyes._

_"Nawaki!" She shouted but received no answer. He was gone. The field suddenly disappeared and Tsunade found herself in an dark abyss filled with all her fears. She saw Nawaki's bloody corpse lying before her and she could do nothing but stand there and watch him bleed out. She couldn't move. It was as if she was trapped in a really bad genjutsu. She was screaming but there was nobody to hear her and she was crying but nobody was there to wipe away her tears. She was alone in a world of fear and darkness._

"NAWAKI!" She screamed as she shot up in her bed. Her clothes stuck on to her and were drenched with sweat and she was shaking uncontrollably. She wrapped her arms around her shaking body and tried to comfort herself to no avail. She brought her knees up to her chest and buried her head in the space created between and allowed her tears to fall, soaking the fabric of the sheets of her bed. The dream she just had completely shattered her. To have Nawaki by her side only to be taken away from her in just a few moments was the worst feeling anyone could experience. She sat in that position for a few moments but then stormed out of her room and went into Nawaki's room that was just beside her own. She took a deep breath and looked all around the room and couldn't believe that it was now the room of a deceased boy. Just last night, he was sleeping soundly in his bed, not having a care in the world. But now, he was lying in a morgue, lifeless. She walked over to his bed and picked up the teddy bear that sat on it with care. It was Nawaki's favorite toy since it was the last gift he had ever gotten from his parents. He claimed that he was a man but he still had that old bear. She hugged it gently and put it back on the bed. She walked over to his desk and saw a picture of the two of them. His entire room was filled with memories of him and the life they had together. She suddenly felt her breathing shallow and felt as if she was suffocating, just standing in that room. The room that was untouched and belonged to her late brother. She ran out of there, feeling as if she was going to collapse. She went back to her room but didn't go back to bed. She opened her closet and put on a gray hoodie over her white tank top, zipped it up and placed the hood on her head and slipped on a pair of jeans over her short shorts. She put on her shoes and walked out of her room, feeling as if she could not remain in there. That house was the house that she shared with her brother and the memories of him were all around. It was too painful to stay in there so she left. She was unsure as to where she was going but she knew for sure that she could not remain in that house.

She walked the empty streets of the village. It was no surprise that it was lonely because it was still raining heavily and furthermore it was late at night. The rain pelted her body, soaking the fabric of her clothes but she didn't care at all. She walked aimlessly for quite some time, with tears occasionally falling from her eyes. The street lights lit up the lonely road and reflected in the puddles on the ground. The lighting struck and illuminated the night sky. Most would be frightened by it but Tsunade kept walking, completely oblivious to the terrifying weather.

She didn't know how but she ended up in a familiar apartment building standing before the door of her teammate. It was as if, her feet had a mind of their own and decided to take her to Jiraiya's apartment. As if she had no control over her arm, it was lifted from her side and she knocked on the door with her hand turned into a fist. Suddenly she realized that it was late at night and she was at Jiraiya's door. He was probably asleep so she wasn't expecting an answer. She didn't even know why she was there but to her surprise, the door opened.

Jiraiya opened his door to find Tsunade standing before him, soaked from the rain with red rimmed eyes from all her crying and tear stained cheeks. She looked so pale and fragile that his heart broke upon seeing her look so worn and completely sad.

"I didn't know where else to go." Tsunade said softly and started to cry once again.

He grabbed her into his arms and she pressed her face into his chest and wept, soaking his shirt with her salty tears. He just held her, absently rubbing her back gently to soothe her, "Let's go inside." He whispered into her ear.

She lifted her head to look up at Jiraiya and gently nodded her head.

He took the pad of his thumb and gently wiped away one of her fallen tears and softly said, "You're going to be alright."

He didn't know why she decided to come to him, but he was glad that she did. No matter what it takes, he will ensure that she gets through this.

_I come to you in pieces, so you can make me whole..._

* * *

**Should I continue? You tell me.**

**Thank you for reading! **


	2. Chapter 2

Jiraiya shut the door as soon as Tsunade walked into his apartment. It was quite a shock to see her appear at his door but he welcomed her with open arms regardless of the way she rejected him when all he was trying to do was help her. Her hair and clothes were drenched from the rain and she wore an expression of complete sorrow and helplessness on her perfectly sculpted face. It broke his heart into millions of pieces just seeing her look so distraught. All he wanted to do was hold her close and erase all her pain, but he didn't know how much she would allow him to do. It must have taken a lot out of her to show up at his house so he would not push her or be too forward. If she wanted him to hold her, he would, if she wanted him to wipe away her tears, he would do that as well but if she just wanted him to sit by her while she sobbed, he would do that without a complain in the world.

He walked her over to his couch and she had a seat but he didn't sit beside her. Instead he walked into his kitchen and returned to the living room with a bottle of sake and two glasses. He knew without a doubt that alcohol was what she needed. He didn't even have to ask. He had a seat beside his teammate and filled her glass, handed it to her and filled his own. Almost immediately after she received her glass, she emptied it with one gulp and filled it up again and again until the bottle was empty and she was drunk. Jiraiya managed to get two glasses out of the bottle but that was not enough to get a man like him drunk. He watched as her reflexes started to slow and when she started to speak, he could hear her evident slur.

"That was the best sake I have ever had." She spat out, "You have good sake here, maybe I should come over more often." She reached for the bottle and tried to get the last bit of sake out of it but only a small droplet came out and landed on her tongue, "We're out of alcohol! Jiraiya, go get some more."

He shook his head, "That was my last bottle and all the stores are closed." The truth was that he had another bottle in his kitchen but he couldn't allow her to drink all she was way out of it and he didn't want her to pass out due to an excessive amount of alcohol. She looked disappointment but that feeling shortly vanished when she started to laugh uncontrollably about nothing in particular. He didn't want to push her, but he had to know if she wanted to talk about her brother's death, "Tsunade, do you want to talk about what happened tonight?"

She stopped laughing when he asked that question and tears started to form in her eyes and she simply shook her head. She wasn't ready to talk about her brother's death. Even in her drunken state, she couldn't manage to utter a word about him. If she did, she would surely break down and she didn't want to go through that again.

He nodded his head, understanding that she wasn't ready to open up and he wasn't about to push her, "Okay." He started, "Whenever you're ready, I'll be right here for you."

She moved closer to him and placed her hand on his cheek, "You're so sweet." She then cupped his other cheek with her hand and crashed her lips down on his.

Jiraiya didn't know what to do. She was kissing him so hard and passionately that it was difficult for him to stop her especially since he has wanted this for so long. But everything about that moment was not right. She was drunk and vulnerable, if he made it go on any longer, it might have turned into something a lot more intimate and as much as he wanted it, he knew that she didn't really want it and he would never take advantage of her. He gently broke apart, noticing the look of hurt on her face but reminded himself that she was drunk and didn't mean any of this. Before he could say anything to her, she collapsed onto him from exhaustion. She was fast asleep beside him and he was thankful for that. Any conversation between them would have been awkward and would probably result in a fight between the two. More than likely, she would not remember anything when she wakes up in the morning so he had nothing to worry about. He gently held her in his arms and carried her bridal style into his bedroom. He placed her on the bed as if he was putting fine china in a cupboard and covered her over with a warm blanket. Before he left the room, he brushed some of her hair out of her face and admired how beautiful and angelic she looked while asleep. He wished that she would be sleeping in his bed under different circumstances but he was just glad that she came to him for comfort. He retrieved an extra blanket and another pillow from his closet and left his room and settled on the couch for the night.

* * *

Jiraiya was woken up in the middle of the night by the feminine screams coming from his room. Terror ran throughout his body and he found himself throwing the sheets off of him and running into his bedroom. He saw Tsunade tossing and turning in his bed. She was sweating profusely and tears were streaming down her face regardless of the fact that her eyes were closed. She was having a nightmare and from the looks of it, it was a really bad one and had a traumatic effect on her. He ran to her side and shook her gently to get her to wake up. Her eyes fluttered open to see Jiraiya looking down at her with nothing but concern in his eyes.

"Jiraiya?" She said quietly. He leaned closer to her and she continued, "I saw my brother. I watched as he died." As she said those words a fresh new stream of salty tears ran down her cheeks and soaked the pillow beneath her head.

He held her hand for comfort and said, "It was only a nightmare Tsunade."

"I keep having these nightmares. It's like Nawaki's haunting me." She confessed, "I wish they would just go away."

"They will with time." He said trying to make her feel better but to no avail. He noticed that there was nothing he could do to make her bad dreams go away so he let go of her hand and started to walk out of the room when her voice stopped him in his tracks.

"Please don't go." She said in a small, unsure voice, "Please stay in here with me. I don't want to be alone."

H took a deep breath and wasn't sure what to do, "Are you sure Tsunade?"

She nodded her head gently and looked like a frightened little kid, afraid to be left alone in the dark, "Please?"

He couldn't leave her alone, not when she looked so traumatized. He wasn't sure how she would feel about this in the morning but he decided to honor her request, "Okay. If you really want me to, I will."

"Thank you."

He got into the other side of the bed that was not occupied and laid there on his back, feeling extremely awkward.

Tsunade changed her position so that she was on her side and direct,y facing him, "Why am I being so weak? I'm one of the Sannin, this is so pathetic." She said as a tear fell from her eyes.

Against his better judgement, he pulled her into his embrace but to his surprise, she didn't push him away or call him perverted, she allowed herself to be comforted, "You just lost someone dear to you, it's natural for you to feel this way."

She rested her head on his toned belly, "Thank you for being here."

"I'll always be here for you Tsunade."

For the first time in a long time, she allowed a smile to grace her face. She closed her eyes, happy to know that she was not alone in that moment and allowed sleep to claim her.

When he was certain she was asleep he whispered, "And I will love you forever." And allowed himself to fall asleep.

* * *

Tsunade's hazel eyes opened and she found herself in a rather masculine room in an unfamiliar bed. She looked around the room, trying to determine her surroundings when she suddenly remembered where she was and whose room she was in. She extended her arm to the empty space beside her and felt the wrinkled sheets, bent down and smelled the pillow. It carried the scent of Jiraiya but Jiraiya was nowhere to be found. Then she remembered that she slept beside her teammate but that was all she remembered. She could not recall the events that took place before she fell asleep so she had no clue that she shared a passionate kiss with him before she passed out. She felt a little awkward and embarrassed for asking him to stay with her last night. She was supposed to be a strong, independent woman and yet she couldn't bare the thought of being alone. She got out of bed and walked out of the room. Sounds of frying pans clanking together confirmed for her that Jiraiya was in the kitchen, probably preparing a meal for both of them but she had no intentions on partaking of it. She silently made her way over to the front door, trying her best to go unnoticed by the sage and slipped on her shoes. As soon as she placed her hand on the handle of the door, she was disturbed by Jiraiya's masculine voice.

"Where are you going?" He asked with a plate of bacon and eggs in his hand.

Without making eye contact with him she answered him, "Home. Where else would I be going?"

"You can't leave without breakfast." He said as he placed the plate on the table.

"Jiraiya-"

"I know it's not much but it's all I had. I wasn't really expecting company last night." He rubbed the back of his neck feeling slightly embarrassed by the food. If he was expecting her, he would have prepared a feast.

She looked at the food and looked at him. It was very nice of him for going through the trouble of making her breakfast but for some reason she felt as if she couldn't stay there, "Keep it."

"Tsunade, really, it's no trouble at all." He said but then he saw that she was about to protest again, "Please just stay for breakfast."

Realizing that he was not going to stop insisting that she stay, she gave up, "Fine." She took her shoes off and placed them at the door and had a seat at the table.

Jiraiya returned to the kitchen to get his food and sat opposite of her at the table. They ate in silence, barely making eye contact with each other until Tsunade broke the awkward silence, "About last night-"

"I promise you that I won't bring up the kiss. You have nothing to worry about." He interrupted.

As he finished his sentence Tsunade started to choke on her food out of complete shock, "Kiss?!" She coughed and reached out to grab her glass of water and took a large gulp to wash down the food that was causi g her to choke, "What kiss?!"

"You kissed me last night, don't you remem-" he said until realization dawned on him, "Oh shit."

"I kissed you?! Why didn't you stop me idiot?!" She shouted in disbelief and anger.

"I did and then you passed out. Then in the middle of the night I heard you screaming because of a nightmare then you begged me to stay with you."

"I know that part and I regret it, that's why I wanted to leave!" She said and got out of her seat and headed towards the door, "This was a mistake, I should have never come here." She put her shoes on and walked out of the house, leaving Jiraiya there wondering what he did wrong.

* * *

Sarutobi was walking in the streets of the Leaf Village, on his way over to his student's house. He was going over there specifically to go over funeral details with Tsunade and he knew that this was going to be difficult for her as well as for him. He hated that he had to rush into a funeral but as the Hokage, he had to make decisions that would benefit the village.

He approached the Senju compound door with a heavy heart. He knocked three times before she opened the door. He took in her appearance and his heart broke. She looked like a scared, confused little girl and all he wanted to do was hug her.

"Sensei, what are you-" she started but was interrupted when she felt two old yet strong arms wrap around her, pulling her into a warm hug.

"I'm so sorry." He said and he could feel her tears soaking the fabric of his clothes. He didn't care though, he allowed her to weep and he just held her close, never attempting to let go. They remained like that for a few moments before she pulled away and wiped away her fallen tears and the ones attempting to leak out of her hazel eyes, "Let's go inside." He said in a caring tone.

She nodded and walked inside her home with her sensei following behind her, "Would you like something to drink?" She said as she walked into her kitchen. She opened her fridge to see what she had to offer, "I have water and.." She moved around some items in her fridge to see what else was there, "And that's it."

"No thank you Tsunade, I'm fine just sit down." He said, patting the space on the couch beside him.

She closed her fridge and did as she was told, "So what brings you here?"

"I came here to discuss funeral arrangements with you."

Her face grew pale as soon as she heard the word 'funeral'. She felt as if it was too soon for that. She hasn't come to grips with the fact that her brother was dead and a funeral would do nothing to help her right now, "Funeral?"

He nodded, "Yes, it must be done as soon as possible. You have to accept that your brother is dead, get over it and then return to the battle field."

"You insensitive old man." She spat out with disgust in her voice, "If you think that a quickie funeral will help me to get over Nawaki's death, you're wrong! He was my brother, he was my everything!"

"Tsunade, you have to understand that I'm just making this decision as the Hokage. If I didn't have to do this, you know I wouldn't. Just please cooperate with me." He pleaded. The last thing he wanted was for his student to be mad at him.

"Do whatever you want. It's too hard for me to think about that right now." She said in a small voice.

"Okay, I'll do my best." He said, feeling disgusted with himself or putting her through this.

Tsunade saw that he felt bad so she decided to assure him that she was not upset with him, "I don't resent you for this. You're the Hokage and you have to do what's best for the village."

He nodded his head, grateful that she wasn't upset. However, he saw that she was distraught and needed someone to help her, "Maybe you should allow Jiraiya to help you get through this difficult time."

She looked at him with shock but remembered that he could not have possibly known that she did indeed go to Jiraiya, kissed him and then slept beside him. Her entire situation was complicated and she wanted to create some distance between them for a while. She looked down and said, "No, I can take care of myself you know."

He laughed slightly, "I know that but if you ever feel alone and in need of some comfort, Jiraiya will always be there for you."

She recalled Jiraiya saying those exact words, "I'll always be here for you Tsunade."

She shook her head in agreement, "I know."

It was indeed complicated since Jiraiya was her friend and she spent all the years of her life rejecting him. How could see actually allow him to be there for her after all of that? Strangely though, when she slept beside him that night, it felt right, like that was where she should be all the days of her life, right next to him. But this was Jiraiya, the world's number one pervert and Tsunade's personal punching bag so she pushed her thoughts to the back of her mind in an attempt to forget them.

"The funeral will be in two days. I hope you'll be okay until then." He gave her one last hug before he left her house.

* * *

The day of Nawaki's funeral came quickly, much to Tsunade's dismay. The very thought of attending her brother's funeral sent chills running down her spine for she held on to the belief that she would be the first to depart from the world instead of her brother. The two days she had before the funeral, were spent in solitude. She often gazed upon a portrait of him, imaging him playing around the house, constantly training to become a stronger ninja and talking about whatever random thought came to his mind. But she never dared to enter his room. The door to his room was always closed, never to expect anyone to enter again for that room was exclusive to her dead brother. That very room, resembled him and mirrored his personality with it's vibrantly colored walls and floor scattered with drawings and toys. No, she would never go in there again for if she did, she would surely break down in uncontrollable sobs that would render her inconsolable. However, she didn't cry for those days. She was just lost in her own thoughts of her dear little brother.

Nobody dared to visit her for they knew that she wouldn't want to see anybody. They understood that she wanted to be left in her solitude. As much as he wanted to, Jiraiya left her to mourn on her own. He tried to reach out to her but when he mentioned their kiss that was never supposed to happen, she fled from him as if he was plagued with a highly contagious illness. Right now, neither knew where they stood with each other in their relationship and it was probably going to remain that way for a long time for Tsunade was as stubborn as a mule and he wasn't willing to push her further than she wished to go. He wanted to be more than just a teammate to her but he knew that the likelihood of that happening was a long shot. If she still wanted him to be her friend, he would be just that.

The morning of the funeral, Tsunade forced herself out of her bed feeling as if her heavy heart was holding her back to the warmth and safety of the blankets. She dressed in her standard shinobi funeral attire which was a long sleeved, v-neck black top with a short skirt that covered half of her thigh. Her outfit was complete with a pair of black shinobi shoes and of course, a look of complete and utter sorrow plastered on her face. Today was a sad day, her final goodbye to her beloved brother. How was she going to get through this in one peace?

She walked the streets of the village on her way to the funeral like a ghost, completely oblivious to her surroundings. The streets were bustling with excitement ranging from children playing happily to women discussing the latest gossip. All was unaware of the day that Tsunade rendered as one of the saddest days of her life. Perhaps, the funeral of a young genin meant nothing in their eyes but to Tsunade, it meant everything. Her brother wasn't simply just a genin but he was a brave young man, the grandfather of the first and her younger brother. Everybody in the village should have been in attendance at his funeral. After all, he sacrificed his life for the sake of the village's victory in the war. But of course, that didn't matter to any of them. All that mattered to them was who could catch the ball and who they could tear to shreds with their words of hypocritical gossip.

The funeral was small but tasteful. Sarutobi ensured that the village elders were in attendance for the grandson of the first Hokage's funeral along with children from Nawaki's class at the academy. Orochimaru and Jiraiya were nowhere to be found and that disgusted Tsunade to the core. How could her teammates not be there to support her in such a sad occasion in her life? She never expected Orochimaru to be in attendance for he was as cold and uncaring as ice but she thought Jiraiya to be different. She was obviously wrong. Now she knew for sure that seeking out Jiraiya's comfort was a mistake for all he cared about was the drunken kiss that they had and the bed that they shared when she couldn't bear the thought of being left alone in the dark with nothing but her nightmares. That perverted idiot would never have the pleasure of seeing her again. She was done with him for good.

The proceedings began with Sarutobi delivering a small speech of what a fine young ninja Nawaki was. He praised him for his bravery and expressed how saddened he was to hear of his passing. Tsunade was supposed to speak at the funeral but she refused to do so at the last minute. With each passing second of the funeral, her heart ripped into pieces that would be beyond repair. How could she stand before the small gathering and speak of her brother without falling to pieces right before their very eyes? It could not be done and she refused to appear to be a weeping lunatic before such important people in the village and Nawaki's peers. Instead, she stood there with everyone else and listened attentively to the kind words being offered up to her brother. How happy it would have made him to hear these words while he was alive. Sure, he would have boasted for days, perhaps even weeks, but it would have made him happy and when he was happy, Tsunade was happy as well. It's a funny thing that only when one dies do others say kind things about him.

The funeral ended and Nawaki was placed in the ground. Many tears were shed for him but none of them were from his sister. It was as if she had no more tears left to shed. Only when everybody left the funeral site did she approach his grave. In her hand, she carried a bouquet of immaculate white flowers, held perfectly together with a jet black silk ribbon. That was to be her last gift to her brother. She sat before the grave with her knees brought up to her chest and placed the flower arrangement delicately at the head of the grave.

"This is it Nawaki, the end of you and me." She said in an almost inaudible whisper, "Ever since mom and dad died, I took care of you. I swore on their graves that I wouldn't let anything happen to you and look where we are now. Some big sister I turned out to be." The rain started to pour as if the heavens were weeping over his death. It wasn't too long before she became soaked to the bone but she didn't care. She continued to sit there and talk to her brother, "I know that sometimes you used to annoy me and I would say terrible things to you just for you to stop but I didn't mean anything that I said. Just your presence in the house alone made me unbelievably happy and now that your gone... My happiness is gone too... It died along with you." Tears that she thought were non existent anymore appeared in her hazel eyes and leaked out like waterfall, "What am I going to do without you?"

She cried and cried for what seemed like hours, never bothering to get out of the rain or even look up from the ground below. Only when she heard a masculine voice coming from beside her did she look up to see a shiny, silver kunai that looked brand new beside her bouquet of flowers.

"We were training. I was teaching him how to throw a kunai straight into the target. I used that very kunai to teach him. It's one of a kind, brand new. He had his eye on it but I never gave it to him. Well, it's his now."

"Jiraiya..."

He noticed that she was shivering from the chilling air and the cold rain that pelted down on her body. Without any thought he removed his coat and placed it over her trembling body, "You're cold. You should get out of the rain and warm up. I could make you some tea and -"

"You didn't come to the funeral!" She shouted, interrupting him, "How could you not come to the funeral?! I didn't expect any better from Orochimaru but you, I thought you were different!" She threw his coat on the ground and started to walk away in rage when his words stopped her in her tracks.

"I was at the funeral. You just didn't see me because I was behind a nearby tree."

She turned around to face him, feeling apologetic for shouting at him in such a manner, "Why were you behind a tree?"

He shrugged his shoulders, "I wasn't sure if you wanted me there." He confessed and this only made Tsunade feel worse, "I haven't seen you since you ran out on our breakfast. I'm still not sure why you did that but I figured that you were mad at me for some reason."

She didn't say anything, she just stood there and soon her shivering started once again. Noticing this, he grabbed his coat that she discarded on the ground as if it was a piece of garbage and placed it around her shoulders, hoping that this time it would stay there and not return to the wet ground, "My invitation for warmth and tea is still open."

She couldn't refuse, she was too cold to do such a thing. She wasn't sure about being in his presence but the numbness coming to her fingers from the cold was telling her that she should put her stubbornness behind her and take him up on his offer. She nodded her head, silently telling him that she accepted his offer and followed him to his home.

Like a gentleman, he opened the door for her and gestured for her to take a seat on his couch. After, he entered his kitchen and retrieved a tin of his finest tea, scooped a generous amount in each cup and poured boiling hot water over it. Afterwards he placed a teaspoonful of honey in both cups to add some sweetness to the hot beverage. He emerged from the kitchen and handed Tsunade her cup and she gladly accepted it. They drank the tea in silence, allowing the liquid to warm their insides. When the tea was gone they sat in silence, both unsure of what to say and what to do. All they could do was sit and stare into space. Tsunade focused her eyes on the small table in front of her. It was home to a framed picture of team Sarutobi, back when they were genin ninjas. How happy they were back in the day and now, they were far from that. Orochimaru was distant and uncaring, Jiraiya was so desperately trying to reach out to Tsunade and she was grief stricken. How did they come to this? The silence soon became deafening and she felt the urgent need to break it, "I'm sorry." She said softly, almost inaudible, "You were just trying to help me and I didn't even thank you."

"Tsunade-"

"The kiss was my fault, I was drunk and I shouldn't have lashed out on you. I'm sorry." She apologized, "I shouldn't have even burdened you by coming here much less asking you to sleep next to me." She said while looking down into her lap as if she was too ashamed to look him in the eye.

"You would never be a burden to me." He assured her, "I was happy to be there to comfort you and I don't regret any of it."

Suddenly her shoulders began to shake and tears fell into her lap. He noticed this and placed a hand on her shaking shoulder, "What's wrong Tsunade? Why are you crying?"

"I don't deserve a friend like you." She cried, "I'm such a bitch to you and yet you keep accommodating me. I don't deserve any of this."

He tilted her head up with his hand so that she was now looking straight into his obsidian eyes. With the pad of his thumb, he gently wiped away her fallen tears, "Don't ever say that again. I'm happy to do all that I do for you because I -"

His words came to an unexpected end when her lips crashed down onto his lips. She kissed him passionately as if she had never kissed a man before. She took him with such a fierce hunger that he had trouble controlling himself and almost surrendered to her until he pulled away from her, "Tsunade what are you doing?"

His question was answered when she kissed him again but this time she didn't hesitate to slip her tongue into his mouth. She was filled with so much desire that she ignored his attempts to pull away once more and used her strength to keep them joined by the lips. After invading his mouth, she broke away from his kiss-swollen lips and began to suck gently at the skin of his neck. A whimper escaped his mouth and he could feel himself enter ecstasy but he knew that what she was doing could go no further. He took hold of her shoulders and pulled her away from him, "Tsunade you don't want to do this." He told her seriously, "I know that you don't really want to do this. If you're doing this to thank me for all that I have done for you then I don't want to have any part in it."

She shook her head, "I'm doing this because I want to do this. I have no idea where this will take us or what this will do to our relationship but trust me when I say that I want this... I want you."

That was all he needed to hear before her claimed her lips with his own once again. His fingers were fumbling with the buttons of her top until he managed to tear it off of her body. She did the same to his shirt. With skilled hands, he removed her bra and she pressed her exposed breasts onto his bare skin which only further filled him with want. His hands roamed her body and felt her, savoring each sensation and appreciating the curves of her beautiful body. She felt each and every one of his muscles and was bewildered at how strong and masculine he was. Then when their desire reached its climax, they discarded the rest of their clothing and he entered her. They moved against each other until they reached their end.

It was an evening filled with passion. An evening that neither would forget. They fell asleep, wrapped in each other's embrace. Neither of them knew where this would lead to but for now, they enjoyed each other's company. Jiraiya had provided her with the ultimate comfort that she needed in that moment and there weren't enough words to describe how grateful that made her. He wasn't lying when he said that he would always be there for her.

* * *

**Okay so I haven't updated in forever and I'm so sorry. You see I'm going to start college in August so I've been preparing for that and on top of that I got a Summer job so I'm always tried because I have to wake up early every morning. But I promise you that I'll update as soon as I can. And for those who read my other story 'Old Habits', I haven't abandoned that either. I just haven't updated for the above reasons.**

**Thank you so much for reading/reviewing/adding this story your alerts. It means the world and more and I promise you that I'll stop being such a bad updater. **

**Oh and some of you asked me not to include Dan in this story and I'm happy to tell you that he won't be in this at all. Yay! **

**Thanks again. Bye! **


	3. Chapter 3

"That was... That was amazing." Jiraiya panted as he wrapped his arms around Tsunade's naked body. The two of them have just participated in making love for the first time and it left them both completely speechless and out of breath. Who knew that they would complement each other so well when it came to making love? His strong, muscular arms wrapped around her stomach and he pressed sweet kisses along her shoulder to her collar bone. Those kisses sent chills down her body and caused goose bumps to emerge on her flesh. She broke away from his embrace and turned around on her stomach so that she was looking straight into his obsidian eyes.

"Tell me about it." She said seductively and pressed her lips against his, "Who knew you had it in you?" Never in her wildest imagination did she think that she would actually be in bed with her white haired teammate. But she needed him for comfort and he provided that for her in one physical activity that left her completely satisfied.

"So." He began, "Where does our relationship go from here?" He asked, anxious to hear her response and see her reaction to such a question.

As soon as he asked the question that she so wanted to avoid, she felt the beating of her heart quicken and her breathing become restricted. Why did he have to ask a question that she clearly did not have an answer to? She wrapped her nude body in a blanket and escaped the warmth of his embrace, "Why did you have to ask that?" She whined and walked around the apartment trying to remember where her clothes were. She looked beneath the sofa and found them scattered under there. They were that passionate for each other that in the heat of things, their clothes were scattered around the apartment and ended up in the strangest of places.

"What do you mean by that? I asked you an important question. I need to know where I stand with you." He explained, "Does this mean that we're going to try to have a romantic relationship?"

Romantic relationship. Those were the exact words that were capable of sending Tsunade off the edge. She wanted nothing more from him than comfort and here he was asking about a relationship between the two of them, "No!" She shouted, "I don't want to be in a relationship with you dummy!"

"Then why did we have sex?!" He asked in disbelief while he too started to look around the apartment for his clothes until he found them draped over his lamp and television.

"Because I wanted comfort! I just attended my brother's funeral and I wanted something to make me happy and you were there and you gave that happiness to me and I thank you for that, but I don't want anything to come out of what we did." She explained as she dressed herself.

"So just because I was there you decided to have sex with me?" He asked with a hint of hurt in his voice, "What if some other guy was there instead of me, would you have had sex with him?"

"Jiraiya..."

"So what we did meant absolutely nothing to you?"

"I-"

"I was just your go-to-guy then?"

She just stood there, fully clothed now but her hair was disheveled. She couldn't say anything to make the situation better because everything he was saying was true. She used him just so she could have happiness after Nawaki's funeral. When she decided to have sex with him, she didn't consider the hurt that she would cause him afterwards. She deserved him to lash out on her and kick her out of his house. She felt like a terrible person and soiled their friendship but there was nothing she could do to mend it.

"Well, I can't be your sex toy Tsunade. I wanted so much more than a friendship from you and when you kissed me and made love to me I thought that I would finally get all that I wanted after all these years but I was obviously wrong. I was so dumb to think that a girl like you could actually look at me and love me." He said with tears forming in his glossy eyes.

"Jiraiya I-"

He shook his head, urging her to not say anything, "Just go." He said softly and when he saw that she was getting ready to protest he said, "Please just go."

Without another word, Tsunade nodded her head and left his apartment. Only when she was out the door did she hear sobs coming from his apartment. With every cry he let out, her heart broke into pieces. She had hurt her friend and for that, she could never forgive herself.

* * *

Tsunade left his apartment building and took to the streets still dressed in her funeral clothes. She wanted nothing more than to get completely wasted and drown her sorrows in alcohol so she was headed straight to the closest bar. She wanted to forget that her brother died, she wanted to forget about her situation with Jiraiya and the fact that she hurt him and damaged their friendship beyond repair. She just wanted to forget about everything.

As she walked through the busy streets, she wiped away unwanted tears that were falling from her honey colored eyes. Oh how she hated to cry but she hated that weak action even more when it occurred in public. How pathetic and sad her life has become. As one of the Sannin she should be living a privileged life filled with glory and happiness but instead she was an emotional wreck who did nothing but hurt and use her friends. She hated herself in that moment and silently wished for death.

Why did Jiraiya want to be in a romantic relationship with her? That question circled around her brain and drove her insane. All she ever did to him was mock him, embarrass him and cause him more physical and emotional pain that one could ever imagine. Why would someone want to be with a person like that? She couldn't fathom why. Now that she tore his heart out of his chest and stomped on it there was no going back now. There was no way that she could ever go back to him for comfort or just to have someone to talk to. Their friendship was now non existent and it would always be like that forevermore. She was officially all alone now. Sure she had Orochimaru but he wasn't what a friend should be. As far as she was concerned, he was only an acquaintance looking for the perfect opportunity to turn to the bad. Lately he has been acting strangely around them so she figured that it was only a matter of time before he got himself into some serious trouble. However, she was praying that day would never come. After all, she did grow up with the guy. Jiraiya on the other hand was the perfect example of what a friend should be. He was always there for her no matter what and he was the only one who reached out to her, offering a shoulder to cry on when Nawaki passed away. But now, he would no longer be there for her because she so foolishly used him for her own pleasure and didn't take a moment to consider how she could hurt him by doing that. She really screwed up this time.

She finally arrived at the local bar but instead of entering through the front door like most people would do, she decided to use the back door in a lonely alley. It was the middle of the day and surely if people saw her walking into a bar at that time to drink the day away, they would surely scrutinize her and she would be the gossip of the week, "I saw the first Hokage's granddaughter walk into a bar in the middle of the day!" , "Surely one of the Sannin should do something better with her time than drinking this early in the day!" Without a doubt, she would hear those words circulating around the village for months. Usually Tsunade was the type of person not to care what others thought about her but this time, she didn't want any unflattering news to get to Sarutobi. He knew that she was distraught about her brother's death and the rushed funeral was supposed to help her get some closure and move on. If word got to him that she was drowning herself in sake, he would force her to get some counseling just so she could be fit and ready to go back onto the battlefield. In order to avoid unwanted attention, she walked into the back alley.

Like most alleys, this one was dark, lonely and smelly. She was just about to enter the bar when she heard a rumbling sound coming from behind one of the metal garbage bins against the brick wall of the alley. When curiosity got the better of her she decided to take a look behind the garbage to see the source of the noise. It was probably just a cat or a dog but for the sake of it, she went to check it out. She approached the garbage and behind it was no dog nor cat. No, it was a little girl with jet black hair, dressed in a tattered violet dress. The girl looked no more than six years old and yet she looked disheveled, skinny and filthy. Where were her parents? What was she doing out there by herself? Tsunade would have just left her be but she felt like such a horrible person for what she did to Jiraiya that she didn't want to make it worse. What if the girl was orphaned and something happened to her that Tsunade could have prevented? No, she needed to know what kind of situation the girl was in why she was rummaging through the garage and she wasn't going to leave without an answer.

The little girl was so busy rummaging through the filthy mess inside the garbage can that she didn't even realize that Tsunade was behind her until she felt Tsunade's hand upon her bony shoulder, "Ah!" She screamed and turned around quickly to see who touched her. Her face was covered in filth and her eyes carried a look of sadness within. She looked so frightened, so weak. It was a pitiful sight.

"Don't worry, I'm not going to hurt you." Tsunade assured the girl.

"Wh-Who are you?" She asked softly, almost inaudible.

"I'm Tsunade Senju." She said with a smile on her face to prove to the girl that she was not going to hurt her, "What's your name?"

"S-Shizune."

"Okay Shizune, may I ask what you're searching for in the trash?"

Shizune turned to look inside the garbage once again and she said in such a sad voice, "Food."

"Where are your parents?" Tsunade asked feeling sympathetic towards the girl who was obviously hungry.

"Dead."

"Is there anyone taking care of you?"

She shook her head, "My uncle Dan used to take care of me but he died in the war." She said almost on the verge of tears, "So I'm on my own now."

Tsunade's heart broke at the sight of the poor orphaned girl. She had nobody in the world, much like Tsunade. They were the same despite the fact that Tsunade wasn't homeless nor hungry. She couldn't simply leave the girl alone after all that she told her. She was just a little girl and who knows what horrors she would have to face in the world all by herself. In addition to being young, she was weak. Surely she could not survive on her own. Without saying another word, Tsunade took Shizune's hand.

"W-Where are we going?" Shizune asked feeling confused.

"You said that you were looking for food. Well, I'm going to get you something to eat. A little girl such as yourself shouldn't have to be rummaging through filth just for something to fill your stomach."

As she said those words, Shizune's eyes were filled with happiness. Finally, she was going to get something substantial to eat. For such a long time, she prayed for an angel to save her from her certain demise and perhaps, Tsunade was this angel.

* * *

Jiraiya remained in his house after Tsunade left, crying his eyes out. He cried for Tsunade's loss and he also cried for her rejection. Finally, they made love to each other and just when he thought that all his dreams were coming true, she destroyed his hopes with her words. Used. That's how he felt. How could she just use him like that and not expect him to ask for more out of her? He should be done with her forever and just forget about her. After all, she did nothing but break his heart over and over again. But why was it that he still loved her? Why did he still want to be with her? He had no answers to those questions that refused to leave his mind.

Love, happiness, stability. That's what he wanted most in his life and yet, it seems as if he will never get them. He was a pervert yes, but in that moment when Tsunade gave herself fully to him, he didn't want anybody else but her. Some would call him an idiot but he knew within his heart that he would always be an idiot because he would never stop loving Tsunade. Even if she moved on in her life and found a man and started a family with him, Jiraiya would still harbor within him, feelings of intense love towards his childhood teammate.

A knock on his door interrupted his sobs and train of thought. He so wished that beyond the door was Tsunade, ready and willing to love him but his hopes were shattered when he saw the black haired, pale faced man standing before him when he opened the door.

"What happened to you?" Orochimaru asked, noticing Jiraiya's red puffy eyes and look of helplessness, "You look terrible."

"Great to see you too Orochimaru." He said sarcastically as he proceeded to close the door in his snake like face but his efforts were stopped when Orochimaru placed his foot in the door frame, preventing it from closing.

"It's quite rude for you to shut the door in your guest's face." He said in his usual creepy tone.

"I'm not in the mood for company." Jiraiya said, feeling his patience run out.

"And why is that?" He asked but received no answer, "All I wanted to do was pay my dear friend a visit."

Feeling annoyed and realizing that Orochimaru was not going to give up or leave anytime soon, Jiraiya sighed and opened the door for his teammate. Jiraiya motioned to the sofa, urging Orochimaru to take a seat but he did not take him up on his offer. Instead he stood in the middle of the room and spoke to his comrade.

"Sarutobi sensei sent me to ask you why you did not attend Nawaki's funeral." He said, getting straight to the point.

"I was there unlike you." Jiraiya growled in agitation, "What about you, what's your excuse for not going?"

"I have better things to do with my time than watch a young child's body be put into the ground. No, instead of wasting my time on that I've been occupying myself with far greater things."

"Like what?"

Orochimaru giggled and decided not to answer his friend's question, "Enough about me Jiraiya and let's talk about you and our dear friend Tsunade." He began, "You saw her at the funeral did you not?"

"Of course I did. It was her brother's funeral, why wouldn't she be there?"

"My guess is that she was sobbing and knowing you, you went to comfort her. Am I right?" Orochimaru said, ignoring Jiraiya.

"So what if I did? Where are you getting at Orochimaru?"

"So you did comfort her." He said after Jiraiya confirmed it, "But the question is, in what way did you comfort her?"

"How is any of this your business? Why do you need to know how I comforted Tsunade?!"

"As a member of team Sarutobi, it is in my interest to know what's going on with my teammates." he clearly stated, "I saw her walking out of your apartment earlier today looking quite disheveled. Furthermore, she was crying. What did you do to her?"

"I didn't do anything to hurt her. She's the one who hurt me..." He said with such sadness in his voice. He turned back to his teammate, "That's all you need to know." He said. Thinking that the conversation was over, he retreated to his kitchen to find himself something to eat but Orochimaru's words drew him back to where he previously stood.

"You had sex with her didn't you."

"So what if I did?" Jiraiya asked, wondering how Orochimaru could possibly come to that conclusion. He was smart. Perhaps too smart.

"Then you made the biggest mistake of your life."

Remembering how Tsunade shattered his heart after they made love for the first time, he felt the pain and sadness that she caused him intensify and said, "Tell me about it."

Orochimaru shook his head in disgust, "Why would you do something as foolish as that?"

"She was the one who started it. I should have stopped it but I was too weak. She had this intoxicating effect on me that I couldn't refuse her. But I should have. If I did, then we would still be friends now and I wouldn't be feeling so heartbroken."

"What exactly happened after you two made love?"

"Not that any of this is your business but..." He took a deep breath before continuing, readying himself to tell the story that caused him so much heartache, "I asked her if we could try to be in a romantic relationship and then she went crazy. She told me that all she wanted was some comfort, to feel happy after such a sad occasion in her life. But I felt used and so, so sad. I told her to leave. Our friendship is ruined now just because I couldn't stop us from going down a path that neither of us were ready to go down."

"It's not your fault. Tsunade was being selfish. She used you for your body to bring her satisfaction. That isn't right. I say, you completely forget about her and stop being so depressed over her. I told you before that love only results in death in the ninja world and yet you didn't listen to me. Tsunade will be the death of you so it's best that you stop loving her."

"That's just the thing. I can't stop loving her. No matter how many times she hurts me or rejects me, I will always love her."

"You're a fool then."

"Well I'll be a fool for the rest of my life because I will never stop loving her."

Orochimaru giggled, "I pity you." He said bluntly, "This is why I don't love anything or anybody in this world except for my jutsu. I won't stop until I've mastered every jutsu in the world and then I'll be the strongest shinobi ever. If you follow my lead, I guarantee you won't die a pitiful, untimely death like Nawaki."

"You're a fool if you think that you can master every jutsu the world has to offer." Jiraiya smirked, "And Nawaki's death was not pitiful! He died a brave young ninja and for that, his death was honorable. Don't you ever say that his death was pitiful ever again!"

"Hehe... Good luck with your life dear friend. The next time you see me, I may be the strongest man alive." With that said, Orochimaru let himself out of the house, leaving Jiraiya feeling irritated yet worried about what his friend just told him. Was he really serious about mastering every single jutsu in the world? If he was then that would include all the illegal ones as well. What was he planning to do?

* * *

Tsunade and Shizune entered a small restaurant to get something to eat. Initially Tsunade was going to go to the bar to get wasted with sake but since she found Shizune, she decided not to since it would be irresponsible to be drunk while in the company of a young child. She didn't know what she was going to do with Shizune but for now she couldn't let her starve. They sat at a table which seated two people and were immediately handed menus by a waitress. Tsunade went over her menu trying to decide what she wanted to eat although she wasn't that hungry, but when she glanced over at Shizune, she couldn't help but notice that the girl wasn't looking at her menu.

"Is there something wrong Shizune?" She asked kindly.

Shizune looked up at Tsunade and then down into her tiny lap. She started to nervously play with her fingers and through her bangs, Tsunade could see that she had tears in her dark eyes.

"I- I can't read." She said softly.

"Oh." Tsunade replied, "I'm sorry, I didn't know." She apologized and reached over to Shizune and placed her hand gently on her chin to allow her to look up, "Don't cry, I'll help you."

Shizune wiped away her tears with her arm and smiled shyly, "O-Okay."

Tsunade looked over her menu once again and gave Shizune some suggestions. Eventually the girl decided to have a chocolate milkshake and a small burger with fries. Tsunade on the other hand decided to have a salad and a glass of water. She wasn't hungry anyway. While they waited for their meal, Tsunade decided to engage the girl in conversation, "So Shizune, how old are you?"

"I'm six." She said while holding up six of her fingers to show her age, "How old are you?"

This made Tsunade laugh for nobody really asks an adult their age, especially not a child but she decided to answer Shizune's question nonetheless, "I'm twenty one."

The child's eyes grew wide with disbelief as if twenty one was the oldest one could be, "Wow that's a lot! You're so much older than me!"

"Thanks a lot!" Tsunade laughed. Oh how this child amused her. This little girl made her laugh when she felt as if her world was caving in on her.

Suddenly, a random girl who was about twelve years old approached Tsunade, "Lady Tsunade, I'm a huge fan of yours. May I please have your autograph?" She asked while holding out a book and a pen to Tsunade.

"Sure." Tsunade smiled and accepted the pen and book, "What's your name?"

"Haruhi." She replied.

Tsunade wrote, 'To Haruhi, from Tsunade.' In the book and handed it back to the excited girl.

"Thank you Lady Tsunade!" Haruhi said before she ran off to rejoin the people who she came with.

"Why did that girl ask you to sign her book?" Shizune asked.

"Oh, because I'm one of the Sannin." She said but soon realized that Shizune had no idea who a Sannin was so she further explained, "You see, there are three of us who make up the Sannin. We got that title because we were strongest in the war and survived a battle with one of the strongest ninjas out there. I guess that girl admires me for my skills in medical ninjutsu and my strength."

"Oh." Shizune responded and was soon presented with her meal. Her eyes grew wide with excitement upon seeing the food that looked so delicious. Before she began to eat, she looked up at Tsunade silently asking if all that food really was for her.

"Go ahead, eat up." Tsunade said.

Shizune did as she was told and took a bite of her burger. The moment her lips touched those soft buns and juicy meat, her taste buds grew excited and she didn't look up from her meal until she finished every scrap of food on her plate. Afterwards she moved on to her milkshake and slurped the creamy liquid up until it was finished. She was stuffed, a sensation that she hasn't felt in such a long time.

"Did you enjoy your meal?" Tsunade asked before she took the final sip of her glass of water.

Shizune nodded her head, "Yes I did. Thank you very much."

"No need to thank me, I couldn't just let you starve."

Suddenly, Shizune looked down into her lap again and asked, "D-Do I have to leave now?"

How could Tsunade actually send her back to where she came from now? She probably was living in the streets and when she becomes hungry again she would probably return to the alley to search in the trash to see if she can find any half eaten scrap that somebody discarded. No, she couldn't find it within herself to leave this child all by her lonesome.

"No you don't." Tsunade said which only caused Shizune to look up in hope, "If you want, you can come home with me."

"Really?" Shizune asked, hardly believing what she just heard.

"Yeah."

Shizune smiled and got up from her seat to follow Tsunade home. As they walked the streets on their way to the Senju compound, a lot of people were looking at them, wondering where Tsunade found that child and why they were walking together. Tsunade didn't care though but Shizune felt insecure about herself with all those eyes piercing into her. She snuggled closer to Tsunade, feeling a little better by being that close to her. Somehow, she felt safe with her and safety was something that she hasn't felt in a long time.

They finally arrived at Tsunade's house and Shizune marveled at how big it was. It was the biggest house that she had ever seen in her life, "Wow." She said, amazed at the sight before her.

"You like it?" Tsunade asked and Shizune nodded in agreement, "It belonged to my family but they all died so it's mine now."

"It's really big."

"Well my family was big so it had to be big to accommodate all of us." Tsunade said as she turned the key in the key hole of the door. The door opened and soon they were both inside the rather large house. Tsunade walked into her bedroom with Shizune following behind her and retrieved a wooden box from under her bed.

"This box has all my childhood clothes in it." Tsunade said as she placed the box on her bed and opened it, "I don't know why I kept them but you can choose whatever outfit you wish to wear."

Shizune hopped up onto the bed and started to look through all the clothes in the box until she came up with a navy blue dress with a black obi. It looked as if it could fit her perfectly as she held it up against her body, "I like this one."

"Me too. That dress was my favorite when I was your age. You can wear that tomorrow but right now you have to wear some night clothes." Tsunade said before she went into her closet and emerged with a white cotton towel, a long white shirt and wash cloth, "Here, you can take a shower in my bathroom." She said as she handed the items to Shizune.

The girl looked reluctant to accept the towel and washcloth and Tsunade wondered why, "What's wrong?"

"I'm not allowed to bathe myself." She said, "Uncle Dan said that I'm too little and I may drown."

Tsunade felt like the world's biggest idiot for not knowing that. Surely Shizune was too small to bathe herself but she forgot since it has been so long since she actually looked after a child her age, "Oh, silly me. I'll help you then."

They walked into the bathroom together and Tsunade filled the tub up with warm water and rose scented bubble bath before she helped Shizune to remove her filthy violet dress. She then placed the child in the tub and began to scrub her body clean then washed her short black hair. After she was cleaned, Tsunade wrapped her in the warm towel and dried her off before dressing her in a long white shirt instead of the dress that she picked out. It was late and therefore, it was time for Shizune to go to bed. There was a drastic difference in the child for now she looked cleaned and well fed.

"Why are you wearing black clothes?" Shizune asked as she followed Tsunade into the guest bedroom, "My uncle told me that a person only wears black clothes if they are going to a funeral. Are you going to a funeral Lady Tsunade?"

"M-My brother's funeral. I went to my brother's funeral today." She said as tears started to form in her eyes. All the sadness that she felt earlier that day was brought back and all she wanted to do now was curl up in a ball and cry, "Have a good night Shizune. I'll see you in the morning." She said quickly and walked out of the room as fast as she could. She didn't want Shizune to see her cry for she didn't want her to think that a sobbing mess was taking care of her, instead she went into her bedroom and buried herself under the sheets and cried herself to sleep.

It wasn't long until Tsunade felt somebody crawl under the blankets with her. She noticed that it was Shizune but she was snuggling against her and wrapping her tiny arm around her neck, "Please don't cry Lady Tsunade." She begged, "When my uncle died I cried all the time but I learned how to be strong. I still miss him and I'll always miss him but I can't cry all the time. I had to let go. Please say that you'll try."

This child. This little innocent child was telling her to let go of Nawaki and be strong. This child went through the pain of losing all those dear to her and yet she wasn't depressed, she was strong. How could Tsunade, the adult be the weakling while Shizune, the child was the strong one. No, she couldn't allow herself to be the weak one. She knew that she would never forget Nawaki and she'll always miss him but she still had a life to live. Now Shizune was looking up to her and she couldn't let her down. In that moment, she decided to dry her tears and let go of her dear little brother.

"I won't cry anymore Shizune. This I promise you." Tsunade said to Shizune and immediately dried her tears. She gave Shizune a hug and walked her back to the guest room, "I'll see you in the morning Shizune."

Instead of going back to her room, she went into Nawaki's room. It was left untouched since the day that he died. She walked over to his bed and picked up his favorite teddy bear and held it close to her heart, "I'll never ever forget you Nawaki." She said and placed a kiss to the bear's head and put it down on the bed, "You'll always be in my heart."

Before she walked out of the room, she looked around the room and heard a voice say, _"And you'll always be in my heart big sis."_

A smile spread across her face when she heard that familiar voice, the voice that she used to hear every day. Oh how she loved that boyish voice. He would never physically be there again but he would always occupy a space in her heart and as long as she was alive. He would always be present with her in the spirit.

* * *

**I loved writing this chapter and I sincerely hope that you loved reading it. Yay for young Shizune! Please review!**


	4. Chapter 4

It was early in the morning when Tsunade awoke from her slumber. She looked down beside her only to see Shizune sleeping soundly, curled up with a warm blanket. She must have snuck into her room late last night after Tsunade put her to sleep. She looked so peaceful when she was asleep and of course, she looked absolutely adorable with her short black hair and rosy cheeks. Tsunade quietly got out of bed, trying her best not to cause too much stirring that would result in Shizune waking up. She stepped into her bathroom to prepare herself for the day and afterwards, she went downstairs to her kitchen, where she would prepare breakfast. She didn't usually eat breakfast for she wasn't an early riser but now that Shizune was with her, she changed her old habit. She searched her cupboards, hoping that she would have something that Shizune would like and stumbled across a box of pancake mix. She retrieved the box and settled on making pancakes. They were once Nawaki's favorite so she was an expert at making them. She mixed the batter in a bowl and then fried it in the frying pan. She now had a stack of pancakes ready to be eaten so she went upstairs to call Shizune down for breakfast.

When she entered the room, she was expecting to see Shizune still sleeping but instead, she was nowhere to be found. She looked in the bathroom but she wasn't in there nor was she in the guest bedroom. The only room that was left to searched was Nawaki's room so she decided to look in there, hoping that Shizune was there. She opened the door and saw Shizune sitting on the bed playing with Nawaki's old teddy bear. The sight was quite adorable for Shizune was smiling and hugging the bear close to her chest. It seems as if she never played with a toy like that before.

"Do you like that toy?" Tsunade asked, stepping further into the room and sitting on the bed beside the small girl.

Shizune nodded her head in agreement and hugged the toy tighter, "When my parents were alive we couldn't afford toys neither could my uncle so I never had anything to play with." She explained and then put the toy down, "Was this your brother's room?" She asked, suddenly remembering that Tsunade had a dead brother.

Tsunade nodded her head, "Yes, this was his room."

"I'm so sorry, I didn't know!" Shizune apologized at placed the toy in Tsunade's lap.

Tsunade looked down at the bear and then at Shizune. She was having so much fun playing with it that it would be criminal to take it away from her. Yes, it was Nawaki's toy but he was dead and therefore would never play with it again. Deep down in Tsunade's heart, she knew that Nawaki would want Shizune to have his favorite toy. After all, he always had a soft spot in his heart for orphaned, underprivileged kids. She smiled and handed the bear to Shizune, "You can have it."

Shizune looked down at the bear like it was a piece of gold, "B-But it belonged to your brother."

Tsunade nodded her head, "It did but I know that he wouldn't mind if you took care of it for him." She put the toy in Shizune's lap, "Take it but promise me that you'll take good care of it. It was my brother's favorite toy."

She took the soft toy in her hands and held it close to her heart, "I promise." She said and gave Tsunade a hug, "Thank you."

"No need to thank me." Tsunade said and ruffled Shizune's black hair, "Now, freshen up and meet me downstairs. I made breakfast."

"You did?" She asked happily.

"Yup." Tsunade nodded, "I hope you like pancakes."

"I-I never had them before."

"Well you're in for a treat." Tsunade smiled and went downstairs to set the table.

It wasn't too long until Shizune joined Tsunade at the table. She was wearing the navy blue dress that she picked out yesterday and her hair was no longer disheveled. She looked adorable and the dress fit her perfectly.

"You look so cute Shizune." Tsunade said while placing a plate of pancakes down before the six year old.

"Thank you." She said politely.

"Eat up."

Tsunade watched as Shizune ate her food and she could see that she was enjoying every bite of it. She knew that she would like pancakes. After all, children her age enjoy sweet things. After she finished her meal, Tsunade washed up the plates while Shizune played with her new toy. She would be lying if she said that she didn't enjoy Shizune's company. She was polite, well behaved and didn't complain about anything or throw unnecessary tantrums. She had a soft spot in her heart for her and wanted nothing more than to see her grow up into a wonderful person. But, she knew that watching her enter the different stages of her life would be impossible if she didn't speak to the Hokage about legally adopting her. She never thought about becoming a mother especially since she was only twenty one but she knew that Shizune needed her. She couldn't just drop her off at the alley she found her in and go about her life, never caring about what became of the small little girl she found rummaging through the trash. She couldn't do it and she wouldn't do it. She made the decision to legally make Shizune her responsibility. Plus, with Shizune in her life, she won't be alone.

"Shizune?" Tsunade said as she took a seat beside Shizune on the ground.

"Yes Lady Tsunade?"

"How would you like to live her with me forever?" Tsunade asked, a little nervous to hear Shizune's response.

Shizune paused for a moment and then started to cry. Tsunade panicked at the sight of her tears, "If you don't want to, you don't have to. Please don't cry Shizune. I'll take you back to where I found you if you want."

Shizune shook her head and started to laugh, "I'm not crying because I'm sad. I'm crying because I'm happy."

"Y-You're happy?"

"Yes." She nodded her head, "I would love to live here with you."

"Really?"

"Yes, that is, if you want me to."

Tsunade wrapped her arms around Shizune and smiled happily, "I would love you to live here with me."

"You'll be like a mommy to me?"

"Yes, but please don't call me that, it makes me sound old."

Shizune laughed at Tsunade words and hugged her back, "Okay, I'll continue to call you Lady Tsunade then."

Tsunade rose to her feet and took hold of Shizune's hand, "Come on, we have to go talk to the Hokage."

"Why?" She said while following Tsunade out the house.

"Because you can't live with me forever unless we have his permission." Tsunade explained.

"B-But what if he says no?" Shizune asked with a shaky voice, "Then I would have to live on the street again wouldn't I?" She said with tears in her eyes, "I don't want to back on the streets. It was dark and scary and I was all alone! Please don't let me go back Lady Tsunade!"

Tsunade stopped walking and crouched down in front of Shizune so that their eyes met, "The Hokage was my sensei Shizune so he'll honor my request. Don't worry about anything because I'll never let you go back on the streets. I promise okay?"

Shizune nodded her head and decided to trust Tsunade, "O-Okay."

"Great." Tsunade said while wiping away Shizune's fallen tears, "Just let me handle everything."

* * *

Jiraiya took a deep sigh as he stood before the large door to the Konoha Ninja Academy. He didn't want to be there but Sarutobi ordered him to go there because he was assigned a student. He hated to be around the academy because just standing before it brought back many bad memories of him being tormented by the other kids just because he wasn't as smart as them. If only those horrible kids could see him now. He was one of the Sannin now and he would kill to see the look on the faces of all those who bullied him. He cringed at the sound of the laughter of children and the sight of them running up and down the place, completely oblivious to the fact that they were in a serious war. Oh how he envied all of them. Children have nothing to worry about. They don't have to have the displeasure of having their hearts ripped out of their chest by the one they love the most neither do they have to watch their friends get slaughtered by the hands of the enemy at war. They were lucky.

He took another deep breath and walked into the academy, dodging running children as he walked down the halls to his destined location. He approached the room labeled '28' and stepped inside only to see the Academy teacher standing before a large class of thirty seven students. They all looked so young, so innocent. Some came from prestigious clans of the Leaf Village such as the Hyuga, Aburame, Yamanaka, Nara and Uchiha. Those children were destined for greatness for they had a tradition of fabulous ninjas to uphold and couldn't let down their clan by underperforming. Thankfully, Jiraiya wasn't from a well known clan therefore he didn't have that pressure to deal with. Tsunade on the other hand was living under the spotlight being the granddaughter of the first Hokage and a member of the strongest clan ever to grace the Leaf Village; the Senju clan. How stressful it must have been for her to go about her life being constantly watched by everybody in the village. However, she handled the stress well for she grew up to be a great ninja and the best medical ninja in the world. He was proud to have been on her team.

Jiraiya cleared his throat to get the attention of the ninja in charge. After he did that, the ninja turned his attention to Jiraiya and introduced him to his class, "Students, this is Master Jiraiya, one of the Legendary Sannin. Say hello."

"Hi Master Jiraiya." The class said in union with each other.

"Master Jiraiya is here because one of you will have the privilege of being his apprentice. I have no idea who it will be but he does. Master Jiraiya, care to tell them who you will be teaching?"

"Alright." Jiraiya started, "Here's how it is. You see I don't want a student for I believe he will hold me back and interrupt my... Ummm... Research... But Lord Hokage wants me to teach one of you because I'm one of the best and we need to have well trained, strong ninja in case of another war or attack or whatever. Now that I've made myself clear, the student I'll be teaching is..." He said and pulled out a piece of paper from his pocket, opened it and read the name he saw, "Minato Namikaze."

He watched as all eyes turned to a little blonde haired boy with bright blue eyes. He looked no more than ten years and wore a look of complete innocence on his face. He seemed as if he was well mannered and never did a scrap of bad in his life. Really? Was this really the kid that Sarutobi wanted Jiraiya to teach? Jiraiya motioned for the kid to come closer and Minato did as he was told and walked up to Jiraiya. Jiraiya got a better look at him and saw that he was quite short and was shy. He sighed for he knew that this was going to be a challenge, "You're Minato Namikaze?" He asked, still finding it hard to believe that the third wanted him to teach such an innocent boy.

"Yes sir." He said respectfully.

"Don't call me sir kid. It makes me sound old." He rubbed his temples and guided the boy out the door by placing his hand on the kid's back, "Let's go."

They exited the building and continued to walk until they were at the training field. Jiraiya sat down and popped himself open a bottle of sake and motioned for the boy to sit in front of him, "So kid." He began, "Tell me about yourself."

"W-What should I say Jiraiya sensei?" He asked, unsure about what he should tell him.

"Just tell me your age, your likes and dislikes." He said and took a large gulp of his alcoholic beverage, "It's not rocket science kid."

"Oh." He said and continued, "Well, I'm ten years old. I like to train and I don't like mean people." He paused and asked, "What about you?"

"What about me?" Jiraiya snapped.

"I've read about you in books and in all of them they said that you have a happy, care free personality. Right now you're anything but happy and carefree. You're grumpy and not really nice. Why are you being like this? I did nothing wrong to make you unhappy."

"You read about me huh?"

Minato nodded, "Yes. I read about you and the other two Sannin. I really look up to you guys because one day I want to be strong like you."

"Don't bother trying to flatter me."

"I'm not trying to flatter you Jiraiya sensei, I'm just stating the truth."

Jiraiya put down the bottle and decided to tell the boy about himself, "Okay kid, you're right, I'm not usually like this. It's just that I had a really bad day yesterday and I still haven't recovered from it."

"Why did you have a bad day yesterday?" He asked, curious as to why his new sensei was being so grumpy.

"I don't think I should be telling a ten year old kid like you my problems. Not that you care anyway."

"But I do care." He said, "You're my sensei now so I care about you."

This kid had an affect on Jiraiya. He made him want to tell him his problems. Maybe this was why Sarutobi assigned him to this boy. He was caring and slow to judge. This child was exactly what he needed, "It's about a girl." He started, "I love her but she doesn't love me and she never will. That's why I'm in such a fowl mood." He explained, "Forgive me, I didn't mean to take out my frustrations on you."

"It's okay sensei."

"You know something kid." Jiraiya started, "I think we're going to get along just fine."

"Me too." He smiled.

"We'll start our training tomorrow. I hope you're ready because I won't go easy on you."

"I said that I like training so I'm more than ready sensei."

"Great." Jiraiya said and held out his hand to Minato for him to shake it. Minato grabbed hold of his sensei's rather large hand and gave it a rather firm shake. After they shook hands Jiraiya smiled, "It's official now, the beginning of you and me, master and student."

* * *

Tsunade and Shizune approached the gate to the Hokage mansion and were approached by the guard, "Do you have an appointment with the Hokage?" He asked. Obviously he didn't know about Tsunade's relationship with Sarutobi. If he did, he would have just let her through but he was following protocol and from the looks of it, he was new.

"I don't need a damn appointment, I'm his student." Tsunade informed the guard.

"You're Tsunade Senju?" He asked.

"Of course I am!"

"Oh, I'm sorry. I just moved here from another village. Please forgive me, I was just following protocol." He apologized, feeling like an idiot in the presence of one of the greatest ninjas ever to grace the earth.

"That's okay. Next time, you'll know better." She said and grabbed Shizune's hand gently, "Come on Shizune."

Together they walked through the mansion until they finally arrived at the Hokage's office door which was located on the top floor of the building. The mansion was crawling with ninjas and ANBU who were there specifically to protect the Hokage but the sight of them made Shizune nervous so she squeezed Tsunade's hand tighter, seeking out comfort in her grip.

"Is this the Hokage's office?" Shizune asked looking at the large door before her. She was so short compared to it that she couldn't even reach the door knob.

Tsunade nodded her head and let go of Shizune's hand, "I want you to stay out here for a little okay? I'll come and get you soon."

"O-Okay."

Tsunade put her hand on the door knob and turned around to see Shizune looking quite apprehensive, "I'll be right back." She turned the knob and entered the office, closing the door behind her. She saw Sarutobi sitting at his desk, so engrossed in his work that he didn't even realize that she was standing before him.

"Sensei." She said to grab hold of his attention.

After hearing her familiar feminine voice, he looked up from his work and looked at Tsunade with a somewhat surprised expression on his face, "This is a surprise." He said and motioned for Tsunade to take a seat in the chair in front of his desk, "How have you been? Good I trust?"

"I've been okay." She said, deliberately forgetting to tell her sensei about what happened between her and Jiraiya. She felt that certain things such as who she went to bed with should be left unsaid. After all, he was like a father to her and a father always wanted to believe that his daughter was a virgin.

"So did you get the closure that you needed from the funeral?" He asked, hoping to hear a positive answer. The war has reached it's climax and he needed Tsunade to be in the best mental and physical shape in order for them to come out victorious.

"I'm sorry to say that the funeral did nothing to help me but something else did." She informed him.

"Something else?" He asked.

"I should really say somebody else."

"Somebody else as in... Jiraiya?" He asked, hoping that Jiraiya was the person who helped her get through the death of her brother.

She blushed at his words, remembering the time that she spent with Jiraiya, exploring his body and sharing in his passion. However, he didn't help her get over Nawaki's death. Instead, a little raven haired girl helped her, "No sensei. Jiraiya had nothing to do with it!" She shouted, trying to hide her blush. She didn't want Sarutobi to find out about her and Jiraiya and she wouldn't allow her evident blush to give her secret away.

"But-"

"No!" She shouted, cutting him off, "Can we not talk about Jiraiya? He didn't help me okay!"

"Very well..." He said, wondering why she became angry with him when he mentioned Jiraiya, "So who helped you?" He asked, silently hoping that it wasn't another man. If Tsunade found a man to share her life with, it would surely break Jiraiya's heart and that was something he didn't want to happen for with a broken heart, one cannot perform to his highest potential out in the battlefield.

"I found a little six year old girl in a back alley, looking for food in the trash. I couldn't just leave her there to starve so I gave her something to eat. Afterwards, I took her home with me. I couldn't leave her on the streets by herself. She told me about how she got over the death of her uncle and she inspired me to let to of Nawaki. She was the one who helped me and for that, I'm entirely grateful to her."

"A little girl helped you?"

Tsunade nodded her head, "Yes she did."

"And what became of her? Is she still with you?"

"She is. All of her family died so she's alone in the world... And so am I."

"What do you plan on doing with her?"

"I want to adopt her. That's why I came here."

"You want to adopt her? But Tsunade, you're still so young. Are you sure that you're capable of raising a young child." He asked, wondering why his student suddenly wanted to adopt a child.

"I've taken care of Nawaki and I was even younger back then. This child has an affect on me that I can't fully explain buy she makes me want to be a better person. She trusts me and I trust her. I can't just let her go back to the streets! Who knows what will become of her if she does? I'm begging you sensei, let me adopt her. I don't want to be alone anymore! If I adopt her then I won't have to live in my solitude. Please!" Tsunade begged and pleaded her sensei to give her the opportunity to legally adopt Shizune. She promised her that they would live together forever and she refused to break that promise. She filled Shizune's head with hopes and dreams. It would be cruel to shatter those hopes and dreams. She just wanted to live happily with Shizune and would do anything to make that happen. If she had to get down on her hands and knees and plead before Sarutobi's feet, she would, if that meant that she could keep Shizune.

"I want to meet her."

"What?" Tsunade asked.

"I want to meet this little girl who helped you. Is she with you now?"

Tsunade nodded her head.

"Go get her then. I want to see her."

Tsunade got out of her seat and walked out of the office to retrieve Shizune. Soon after she walked in the room again but this time with Shizune by her side. She looked nervous for she has never seen the Hokage before but she always heard that he was extremely powerful.

"Hello there little girl." The Hokage said, greeting the girl, "What's your name?"

She looked up at Tsunade, silently asking if it was okay to tell him her name. Tsunade nodded, urging her to introduce herself.

"M-My name is S-Shizune." She said nervously.

"Hi Shizune, I've heard a lot about you."

"Y-You have?"

"Yes." He nodded and then looked up at Tsunade, "It seems as if my student here is very fond of you." He looked back at Shizune, "You're a lucky girl. Tsunade is a wonderful person."

"I know. She rescued me and gave me food, clothes and shelter. She's really nice and I would love to stay with her forever." Shizune said, "Lady Tsunade told me that I can't live with her forever unless you give her permission. Can you please give her permission?"

How could Sarutobi say no to such a sweet little girl? Sure he had his doubts about the idea of Tsunade raising her but it was clear that they needed each other. Tsunade was alone and so was Shizune. Who was her to separate them when it was clear that they already had such a close bond?, "Shizune, can you wait outside for a moment please?"

She nodded her head and left the room once again, leaving teacher and student alone.

"She adores you." Sarutobi stated, "I've only been with her for a few moments and I can see that as clear as day."

"She needs me." Tsunade said.

"And you need her." He added and got up from his chair and walked over to Tsunade, placing his hands on both of her shoulders, "I know you feel as if you have nobody else in the world and I can see that you have found all that you have lost in that child. I don't know what happened between you and Jiraiya to make you so angry when his name is mentioned and I'm not going to ask but I can see that you're happy with that girl and if you're happy then who am I to take away that happiness from you? I will grant your request." He smiled and she couldn't help herself but wrap her arms around him and embrace him in a tight hug that was more like a happy squeeze.

"Thank you Sarutobi sensei, thank you so much!" She said and pulled away from him to look him in the eyes, "You have no idea how much this means to me."

"I think I do." He said and walked back over to his desk and pulled out adoption papers. He wrote some stuff on the paper such as Tsunade's name and the name of the child she wanted to adopt. Afterwards he asked her to sign in a specific area of the paper and after she was done, he signed below her signature. It was now official. Shizune legally belonged to her, "Congratulations Tsunade, you're now a mother." He smiled.

"Not a mother." She said, cringing at the name, "More like friend or guardian."

"Whatever you call yourself, you are now responsible for the life of that little girl." He informed her, "Is that something you can live with?"

"Definitely. I'll lay down my life for her."

"I'm proud of you Tsunade."

Tsunade smiled at her sensei's words and thanked him one last time before she left his office and returned to Shizune. The little girl looked up at her with nothing but hope in her eyes. Only when Tsunade smiled, did Shizune run up to her to hug her, "Can I live with you forever?" She asked.

"Yup, I got the papers to prove it right here." She smiled, waving the papers in Shizune's happy face.

The girl squealed in delight and wrapped her arms around Tsunade once again, "Wherever I go, you'll go too because as of now, we're a team."

* * *

Jiraiya was walking Minato home when he saw Tsunade buying ice cream from a nearby ice cream stand. His heart immediately started to race when his eyes caught sight of her blonde hair and green jacket. He didn't know what to do but he was sure that he didn't want her to see him. Instead he tried to conceal himself behind a bush so that their eyes wouldn't meet.

"Why are we hiding behind a bush Jiraiya sensei?" Minato asked feeling confused by his sensei's sudden actions.

"Shhhhh!" He said and went back to silently observing Tsunade. He saw as she purchased two ice cream cones which seemed strange to him since Tsunade never had much of a sweet tooth but what surprised him the most was when she handed one of the cones to a small girl with jet black hair. Then when the girl hugged her, he became extremely confused, "Why did Tsunade buy that girl ice cream and why did she hug her?" Jiraiya asked out loud. As far as he was concerned, Tsunade was never too fond of children so it was quite strange seeing her be so happy in the presence of a little girl.

"Am I supposed to answer that question Jiraiya sensei? If I do, I have no idea what to say." Minato said and then got a better look at Tsunade, "Hey! Isn't that Tsunade Senju, your teammate?" He said loudly and soon he found Jiraiya's hand covering his mouth, preventing him from saying anything else.

"Would you keep it down? Do you want us to get caught?!" Jiraiya said in frustration. He had to know what was going on with Tsunade. Just yesterday their friendship ended and he knew that she was rather upset but now, she was laughing and genuinely happy. What was going on? He had to get to the bottom of it. He removed his hand from Minato's mouth, "Why won't you go ahead and go home. I have to pay our Hokage a visit."

"O-Okay." Minato said, still confused, "You're acting strange Jiraiya sensei. Are you alright?"

"I'm fine boy, just go on home and I'll see you to tomorrow."

"Alright. See you later Jiraiya sensei." Minato said and walked in the direction of his house.

If anybody knew what was going on with Tsunade, it was Sarutobi. He knew how close Sarutobi and Tsunade were so he could get whatever information about Tsunade out of him easily. He waited for Tsunade and the girl to leave the ice cream stand before he allowed himself to remove himself from behind the bush and head in the direction of the Hokage mansion. He ran all the way over there like a pack of wolves running after some poor unfortunate animal that would soon become their dinner. He ran and ran until he finally got to the mansion and instead of talking to the guard at the gate he ran past him and stormed through the mansion until he arrived at Sarutobi's office. Without knocking he burst through the doors and startled the Hokage by his sudden intrusion.

"Jiraiya, what's the meaning of this?!" Sarutobi asked angrily, "I could have been in an important meeting! How dare you just storm through here like a SWAT team!" He scolded but everything he said to Jiraiya came through one ear and went out the other. Jiraiya didn't care for what his old sensei had to say about his disrespectful intrusion, all he cared about was finding out why Tsunade was with a little girl and happy.

"What was Tsunade doing with a little girl with black hair?!" He blurted out, getting straight to the point, "I know it's none of my business but I want to know why she was so happy when I saw her. Just yesterday she was miserable and now it's like nothing happened between us! It's like she has forgotten that we had sex and she tore my heart out of my body with her words! Is she really that cruel to go on with her life as if she didn't just ruin mine?!" He rambled on, not realizing that he just told his sensei that he had sex with his other student.

"You and Tsunade... Had sex?" That's all he could say for he was lost for words. He always knew that Jiraiya had a crush on Tsunade but never did he think that they would actually participate in such an intimate act.

"Oh crap." Jiraiya said and slammed his hand into his face in embarrassment. He just realized what he admitted and he wished that he could take it all back. He never wanted Sarutobi to find out and yet he was so careless and revealed the truth that he so wanted to keep hidden. It was bad enough that Orochimaru knew but it was even worse now that Sarutobi knew.

"So... That's what happened between you two... That's why Tsunade was so upset when I mentioned your name..." He said, remembering how angry she was when Jiraiya was mentioned in their conversation, "Did you... Did you force sex upon her or-"

"What?! No! Never!" Jiraiya said feeling somewhat hurt that Sarutobi would even think that, "Tsunade's the one who came on to me!"

"Then why was she so angry when I mentioned your name?"

"She forgot to tell you the part that she simply used me for my body. I wanted to take our relationship a step further and all she wanted was pleasure." He explained and Sarutobi cringed at the thought of his students that he knew from their childhood having sex.

"This is too much information for me to handle... I think I need to have a seat." He said and took a seat, rubbing his temples and trying to allow the information to sink in.

"Enough about that sensei. I came here because I saw Tsunade buying ice cream for a little girl and the two of them looked as if they were going home together. Is that little girl Tsunade's student?" Jiraiya said, turning the conversation back to what he came here to ask.

"Tsunade came here not too long ago because she wanted to legally adopt that girl. Her name is Shizune by the way and she's very sweet."

"Tsunade adopted that girl?! Why?"

"Because Shizune is orphaned and she was found on the streets. Tsunade adopted her because without her, that little girl would surely die. But that's not the only reason why she adopted her." He stated, "She adopted her because she wants Shizune to save her from her solitude."

"Save her from her solitude..." Jiraiya repeated, feeling his heart ache with sadness, "I would have happily saved her from her loneliness only if she would have let me. Why can't she just love me? What's wrong with me?" He said, feeling so helpless.

Sarutobi saw the sadness on Jiraiya's face and he knew that he was deeply hurt. Instead of allowing Jiraiya to be in her life, she decided to adopt a little girl so that she wouldn't be alone. Yes what she did for Shizune was admirable, but Jiraiya was alone as well and so desperately yearned for Tsunade's affections, "Jiraiya." Sarutobi started, "I think it's time that you let go of Tsunade and move on with your life."

His heart stopped at his sensei's words. How could he simply let go of the person he loved most in the world? Sure, she rejected him and left him heartbroken, but he still cared deeply for her, "How can I do such a thing?"

"It's time that you think about yourself for once in your life. What you're doing to yourself isn't fair. You're chasing after a woman who doesn't love you and in return, you're sad and heartbroken. What you're doing isn't healthy. You need to move on."

Jiraiya took a moment to think about what his sensei was telling him. There was much sense in what Sarutobi was saying. It wasn't fair what Jiraiya was doing to himself. He was worth something too and deserved to be happy, to love and to be loved in return. It was time for him to let go of his childhood crush and move on with his life, "You're right sensei." He admitted, "It's time that I move on."

He was now embarking on a new journey in his life, the journey to fall out of love with Tsunade. She had Shizune now and he still had nobody. No, it was time for him to put himself on the market once again and find someone who would love him. He deserved that much after chasing after the same girl for so long who never loved him.

* * *

**Poor Jiraiya. **

**I hope you guys had fun reading this chapter because I had so much fun writing it. I love this story and I love where it's going. I'm so excited for the next chapter and I'm going to try my best to make it perfect for you guys. Thanks for reading and reviewing. Until next time! Xoxoxo.**


	5. Chapter 5

"You're the best cook ever Lady Tsunade!" Shizune said happily as she munched on her pancakes. It was now three days since Tsunade adopted Shizune and she was loving every moment of it. Shizune provided her with the happiness and the company that Tsunade so desperately needed and for that, Tsunade would happily continue to provide everything that Shizune needed and ensure that she grew up to become a wonderful person and a skilled kunoichi. Therefore, Tsunade vowed to herself that she would dedicate her time and efforts into teaching Shizune the art of medical ninjutsu. She had a feeling that Shizune would have a natural talent for it just by examining her kind and gentle nature. She would have no problem teaching her.

"Why thank you Shizune." Tsunade smiled and poured some more of her homemade maple syrup on the stack of pancakes. Everyday Tsunade made pancakes for they have become Shizune's favorite meal. She was grateful for that because she wasn't a wonderful cook and pancakes were basically the only meal that she could make perfectly. However, she knew that she would have to purchase a cook book for Shizune couldn't continue to eat pancakes every morning for the rest of her life, "I was thinking that we could go shopping today." Tsunade suggested. The truth was that Shizune needed clothes, toys and other basic necessities for a child her age. Tsunade was even planning on refurbishing the guest bedroom to transform it into a room that mirrored Shizune's personality. She was going to be living with her permanently so she had to ensure that Shizune was comfortable in a bedroom that she would love.

"I would love to go shopping!" Shizune squealed, "Can we go? Please say that we can go Lady Tsunade!" Shizune was now jumping up and down in her seat in excitement and Tsunade couldn't help but giggle at her enthusiasm.

"Okay we can go but first you need to finish your breakfast." Tsunade said and noticed that Shizune had some maple syrup smeared on her cheek. She then took a napkin and wiped the girl's cheek clean, "And perhaps you should take a bath before we go."

Shizune stuffed some more food into her mouth and said, "Okay Lady Tsunade."

"Don't talk with food in your mouth." Tsunade scolded gently, "It's bad manners okay."

Shizune swallowed her food and nodded her head, "I'm sorry."

"Just finish your meal."

Tsunade watched as Shizune finished her meal with lightning speed and rinsed it down with her glass of milk, "I'm done!" She smiled and pointed to her empty plate and glass.

"Very good." Tsunade said and took the plates from her and washed them in the sink, "Okay, let's get you cleaned up."

Tsunade took Shizune into the bathroom and filled the tub up with warm water and sweet pea scented bubble bath. When the tub was ready, she helped Shizune out of her night clothes and placed her into the tub. Shizune giggled as she played with the bubbles and placed some over her lip in an attempt to have a fake mustache, "Look Lady Tsunade, I have a mustache."

Tsunade laughed along with the child, amused at her innocence and decided to play along with her, "Oh my, Shizune you're a boy!" She exclaimed, bringing her hands up to her face to cover her mouth in an attempt to look completely bewildered by the bubbles over Shizune's lips.

Shizune laughed and used her hand to wipe away the bubbles, "I was only kidding Lady Tsunade, I'm still a girl."

"Oh!" Tsunade sighed and wiped away some non existent sweat on her brow, "Thank goodness."

Tsunade washed the child's flesh until it was clean and free of sticky residue from the maple syrup. After she was done, she wrapped her in a warm towel and dried her body, ridding it of water droplets and then dressed her in a light pink dress with a dark pink obi around the waist. She looked adorable for the pinkness of the dress matched her pink tinted cheeks.

"Are you ready to go Shizune?" Tsunade asked the child as she headed downstairs towards the front door.

"I'm coming!" Shizune called from the guest bedroom which she was currently occupying, "I just have to find Mr. Bear. I don't want to go shopping without him." Shizune decided to call Nawaki's old bear, Mr. Bear. Tsunade thought it was a cute name for such a cute stuffed toy. Nawaki never named it but she knew that he would have liked that name a lot.

Tsunade placed her shoes on her feet while waiting for Shizune to emerge from upstairs and suddenly, she heard a knock on the front door. Wondering who that could be she walked over to the door and looked through the peep hole to see one of the Hokage's assistants standing outside of the door. Feeling slightly confused as to why he was there, she opened the door and asked, "May I help you?"

"Lord Hokage wishes to see you in his office." He said, getting straight to the point.

"What for?" Tsunade asked feeling slightly annoyed by her sensei's random requisition of her presence in his office, "It's kind of a bad time now." She was supposed to be taking Shizune shopping and she didn't want to disappoint her.

"He didn't give any details as to why he wishes to see you but he is requesting your presence in his office immediately."

Tsunade sighed in defeat, realizing that there was nothing she could say or do to get out of it, "I'll be there shortly."

The assistant nodded his head and Tsunade closed her front door. Shizune then came down the stairs with Mr. Bear in hand, "I'm ready to go now."

"About that Shizune..." Tsunade started and stooped down to Shizune's level, "Lord Hokage wants to see me so we can't go shopping right away. But I promise you that when I come back we'll go okay."

Shizune gave Tsunade a small smile to silently tell her that she understood the position that she was in, "Okay."

"Great." Tsunade said, feeling relived that Shizune was such an understanding child and rose to her feet, "You stay here. Don't let anybody in the house and stay away from the stove. Just stay in your room and play." She instructed, "I'll be right back." Tsunade said before exiting the house and locking the door shut with her key. She just hoped that she could still honor her promise to Shizune.

* * *

Tsunade made her way over to the Hokage mansion determined to make it her point of duty to thoroughly curse her mentor for interrupting her plans with Shizune. This was the first time since she met Shizune that she has ever left her alone. She couldn't help but miss her even though she just left her house not too long ago. The two now had an inseparable bond and it would always be like that from now on. Tsunade didn't mind though, it was nice being in the presence of somebody who wanted you and loved you unconditionally for once. Just the thought of returning to her house only to have Shizune jump into her arms and express how much she missed her made her heart leap with joy.

She approached the gates of the mansion and came across the same guard who was from another village. This time however, he didn't question her, but let her straight through the gate and as she was walking through, she gave him an approving look. She walked through the halls and climbed the many flights of stairs, cursing under her breath and reminded herself that she should tell her sensei to install an elevator, until she was on the level where the Hokage office was situated. After what seemed like forever, she was finally at the door of the office and out of respect, she knocked before entering. However, when she entered the office, she felt her heart stop within her chest.

Standing right before her in the company of the third Hokage was none other than Jiraiya. What was he doing there? Why did Sarutobi call her if he had Jiraiya with him as well? Oh how she wanted to kill her sensei. She was frozen. She hasn't seen Jiraiya since the series of unfortunate events that happened between them and now here she was, frozen like a statue, looking straight into his obsidian eyes. She wanted to run out of the office or jump through the window. She just wanted to get away from him but she decided to keep her composure long enough to maintain her pride and ask why she was there, "What's all of this about sensei?" She asked, trying not to let the shakiness of her voice be heard.

"We were waiting quite a while for you Tsunade. What took you so long?" He asked, noticing her tardiness. As a child he always taught her to be on time but now that she was an adult, she completely disregarded that and did her own thing.

"In case you have forgotten Sarutobi sensei, I have a child to look after now. Therefore can you hurry this up so I can get back to her." Tsunade said in an annoyed tone, wanting nothing more than to go home and get away from Jiraiya.

"That's not going to be possible Tsunade."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?!" Tsunade shouted, now feeling pissed off not only because Sarutobi wasn't getting to the point fast enough but the fact that she was in the presence of the one she so wanted to avoid for the rest of her life.

"Calm down Tsunade." Sarutobi begged of her but she wouldn't have it. Jiraiya just stood there, watching her unleash her anger, not daring to say a word to her. Like Tsunade, he wasn't too fond of the situation they were now in and wanted nothing more than to leave as well. However, he had to keep his cool and wait to hear what Sarutobi called him for.

"I will not calm down old man! I have a six year old at home waiting for me and I want to get back to her. But no, you're taking forever to say whatever it is who have to say! I have more important things to do with my time than standing here waiting around for you to open your mouth and say something! So can you just spill it so I can get on with my life?!" She said with not an ounce of respect in her voice.

Sarutobi ignored her blatant disrespect and proceeded to tell her the reason why he called her there in the first place, "I need you two to back into the war together."

Tsunade was lost for words. Did she hear correctly? She could not be going back into the war, not when she had Shizune to take care of. And to go with Jiraiya? How was she going to do that after all they've been through? No, it could not be done, "Why me?!" Tsunade asked.

Jiraya knew the reasons why he had to go into war again but he wanted to do no such thing, especially not with Tsunade in tow. If circumstances were different then he would have no problem going back to the war with her. But things were different and his hurt was still evident.

"You know exactly why I chose the both of you Tsunade. You two are the best we have at the moment. The war is reaching it's final stages and we need you two out on the front-lines to help us to become victorious."

Tsunade understood his reasoning but she was still reluctant to go. She had a little girl at home waiting on her. She couldn't let her down. What if she didn't make it out alive, what would become of Shizune?, "What about Shizune? I can't just leave her alone at home."

"She can stay here." Sarutobi said, "My wife Biwako would be more than happy to take care of her in your absence. It'll be no trouble at all."

"What about Orochimaru?" Jiraiya said, finally breaking his silence, "He's one of us too. Is he going back to war as well?"

Sarutobi nodded his head, "Orochimaru has already returned to the war. You two will meet him there and together you will fight and emerge victorious."

"If I don't make it back alive..." Tsunade started and earned looks of confusion and horror from Sarutobi and even Jiraiya, "Promise me that you'll find Shizune a good family, a family who will love her and take good care of her. Promise me that she won't end up on the streets again and let her know that I truly loved her." Tsunade said with such sadness and sincerity in her voice. If Jiraiya was on good terms with her, he would have hugged her but that wasn't about to happen anytime soon. Tsunade truly cared for that little girl, so much that she was willing to make plans for her if she was to ever perish in the war. That was sincere love.

"Tsunade -"

"Promise me!" She demanded, "Please."

"I-I promise." He assured her. As much as he didn't want to think about her possibly dying, he could see that Tsunade wasn't going to agree to go unless he promised her that Shizune would be alright. In that moment he said a silent prayer for not only her but for Jiraiya and Orochimaru as well. If anything were to happen to any one of his students, he didn't know what he would do with himself.

"Thank you."

"When do we leave?" Jiraiya asked, trying to move the conversation away from such a sad topic. He didn't wish to feel sympathy for Tsunade, not after all that she has done to him.

"It would be best if you leave as soon as possible today." Sarutobi informed them and handed Jiraiya a map with the directions in which they were to follow in order to get to the war, "Orochimaru will be waiting here for you." He said, pointing to an area on the map, "From there, you three will enter the war. Be safe and come back victorious."

They nodded their heads in union, "I have to go home to pack then I'll drop Shizune off here." Tsunade stated and looked at Sarutobi, "Take good care of her."

"I will."

Tsunade nodded her head one last time and left the room. Only when she was gone did Jiraiya express how uncomfortable he was with the idea of traveling with Tsunade after everything to his sensei, "I really don't want to do this sensei."

"I know that both of you are uncomfortable with this but you need to put your personal issues aside and fight for the security of your village. As one of the Sannin, you must be professional at all times and do what is best for your home. You know that Jiraiya."

"And why didn't you lecture Tsunade about this?" Jiraiya snapped, feeling as if Sarutobi favored Tsunade over him.

"She had a good reason to be reluctant to go back to war. Sure she doesn't want to go anywhere with you but she also has Shizune to think about. She loves that little girl so much that the very thought of her dying and leaving Shizune alone drives her crazy."

"Well the thought of traveling with her is making me crazy! I'm trying to get over her and yet I have to be in the same space as her for days. I'm still hurt by what she did to me!"

"And I know that Jiraiya but build a bridge and get over it! I'm not sending you two on a romantic vacation, I'm sending you to fight for our country and if you can't do that without complaining then you shouldn't even bother calling yourself a Sannin!" Sarutobi scolded. Suddenly Jiraiya felt as if he was a little kid again, being lectured by his sensei. But there was much sense in what the old man was saying. Jiraiya was a Sannin and therefore should stop complaining and act like one. In that moment he decided to put his personal problems behind him and fight for the sake of the Leaf Village and all of its citizens.

* * *

Tsunade walked through her front door and immediately after she had Shizune jumping into her arms, squeezing her tightly. Her embrace didn't hurt for the girl's arms were so weak so instead it felt precious.

"Are we going shopping now Lady Tsunade?" She asked gleefully.

Tsunade instantly felt bad for she knew that she had to break her promise. Although, she didn't quite know how she was going to break the disappointing news to her, "It looks like we'll have to postpone our little outing." Tsunade said regretfully.

"Why?" Shizune asked with a hint of disappointment evident in her tone, "You said that when you came home that we could go shopping. What changed your mind? Was it something that I did?"

Oh how could Shizune ever say something like that? Tsunade shook her head, "No Shizune, it's not because of something you did."

"Then what?"

"You see Shizune, I have to go away for a few days."

"Then can I come too?" Shizune asked, feeling a bit hopeful.

"I'm sorry but no, you can't come."

"B-But I thought you said that we're a team, that wherever you go, I go too." She said while tears formed in her dark eyes.

"Where I'm going is too dangerous for little girls." Tsunade explained, "But you'll be staying at the Hokage's house. His wife Lady Biwako will take care of you. She's a nice lady and remember how big the Hokage's house is? It'll be like an adventure for you, you'll have so much fun and-"

"You're going to the war aren't you?" Shizune said softly. She was a smart girl for without Tsunade telling her, she knew that she was going to war.

Tsunade could have just lied to the girl to make her feel better but for some reason she couldn't, "Yes."

The tears were now rolling down her rosy cheeks, "M-My Uncle Dan went to the war a-and he di-died. P-Please don't die Lady Tsunade."

Tsunade held the girl close and rubbed her hair to comfort her, "I won't die, I'll come back."

"That's what Uncle Dan said but he never came back."

"I promise you that I'll come back." Tsunade said although she knew that there was no guarantee that she would actually come back. The outcome of war was unpredictable, anything could happen, even to one of the Sannin. But Tsunade couldn't let Shizune know that, she had to give the girl as much hope as she could to hold on to, "I'm one of the Sannin remember, I can't be taken down that easily. Plus, my teammates will be there with me, together we can defeat the bad guys. I'll be back in no time."

Tsunade broke their hug to wipe away Shizune's tears, "Can you give me the biggest, bravest smile ever?"

Although she wasn't the happiest person in the world right now, Shizune smiled for Tsunade, "I'll be brave."

"Well I'm glad." Tsunade said before she ruffled Shizune's dark locks, "Now, pack some of your clothes and whatever else you may need. I have to leave soon."

Shizune retreated to her bedroom to pack her stuff while Tsunade went to her room. Once Tsunade was in her room she dressed herself in her standard shinobi attire which consisted of a long sleeved shirt accompanied by a flak jacket, pants and her forehead protector. She strapped on her shinobi shoes and then began to pack her bag. Since she would be on the move a lot, she packed only the essentials such as a tent that could fit neatly in her bag once folded up, a sleeping bag, a pack of matches, non perishable food items, bottles of purified water and of course her weapons. It was going to be a long journey and she only hoped that she could get through it and make it back alive. After she was through with her packing, she went to Shizune's room to see her placing the last necessary item into her small backpack. She was such a brave, understanding little girl for she shed no more tears. Instead she decided to put on her bravest face for Tsunade.

"Are you ready?" Tsunade asked, still standing in the door frame.

"Yes Lady Tsunade, I'm all packed and ready for my adventure." She smiled.

"Okay then, let's go."

Tsunade walked Shizune over to the Hokage mansion and handed her over to Biwako Sarutobi. Before she left, she gave her another hug and told her that everything would be alright. She just hoped that she would see her sweet little girl again. Afterwards, she made her way over to the main gate and waited on Jiraiya to show up. While she was waiting she participated in idle conversation with the gate keepers until Jiraiya showed up. When he finally got there, Tsunade didn't say one word to him and he didn't say anything to her either. They just departed from the Leaf in silence.

* * *

They walked for what seemed like forever until the sun began to set. Soon they would be plunged in darkness so they ceased walking and decided to set up camp in an open field, away from the road. There were bushes and trees to conceal them from any unwanted company so for now, they were safe. Tsunade immediately pulled her folded tent out of her bag and set it up while Jiraiya worked on starting a fire. He was having some trouble setting the sticks and rubble he collected ablaze. Seeing his difficulty Tsunade threw him a pack of matches that she packed. The fire would benefit her as well for it was becoming quite chilly, so she decided to help him out. Whenever they used to go out on missions together, she was always the prepared one, never forgetting to bring the essentials while Jiraiya always under packed, forgetting the most important items. He was lucky that she was on this mission as well. He picked up the box of matches and muttered, "Thank you." Under his breath. He struck a match against the box and threw it in the collection of twigs and sticks until it set ablaze.

Nighttime was fully upon them now. They were cloaked under the moon and stars and nothing else. The air was still but chilly so they sat around the fire in silence, eating the food that they brought along with them. For Tsunade it was a can of beans and Jiraiya ate some dried beef jerky. It wasn't that appetizing but in war, one should not expect to have the finest of meals. Non perishables were good enough for the occasion. It was so silent that all that could be heard were the sound of the crickets chirping and the crackling of the fire. Boredom overcame Jiraiya so he decided to head to bed. He pulled out the sleeping bag that he packed and spread it out beneath the stars. Of course being the unprepared person he was, he forgot to pack a tent. Therefore, he would be spending the night outside in the cold wilderness. He slipped himself into the sleeping bag and laid there, waiting for sleep to claim him. Tsunade saw that he didn't have a sleeping bag but instead of offering to share her tent, she ignored him and proceeded to walk over to her tent to go to bed for the night. However, just before she crawled into the warmth of her tent, she looked over at Jiraiya once again but now he was shivering due to the chilled air. She instantly felt terrible. How could she sleep comfortably, warm under her tent while Jiraiya slept outside in the cold? No, she couldn't go through with it. They been through hell and back but he was still a person and she couldn't let him freeze to death.

"You can share the tent with me if you want." She blurted out, "It's too dangerous and cold to be sleeping without a tent."

Jiraiya looked at her lost for words, still wondering if he was hearing correctly. She was actually talking to him. That was something that she had not done in so long. He wasn't so sure if he should take her up on her offer but when a chill ran down his spine, he nodded his head, "Thanks."

"Don't thank me." She said annoyed, "Just get your ass in the tent."

Jiraiya followed Tsunade into the tent with his sleeping bag in hand. As soon as he stepped into the tent, he felt the warmth that he longed for when he was out in the open. He watched as she snuggled into her sleeping bag and turned on her side so that she was facing the wall of the tent. He did the same so that his back was turned to her. They didn't exchange any words or say goodnight. Instead, they laid awake, waiting for sleep to claim them although sleep never graced them. They couldn't sleep a bit for they were too lost in their thoughts and therefore unable to pull out of the depths of their minds. How complicated things have become. If only they could go back in time and fix everything. Unfortunately, they could do no such thing. They had to live with the bad decisions that they made and hope that one day, things could be better.

* * *

Jiraiya woke up that morning and immediately looked beside him, expecting to see a sleeping Tsunade but she was nowhere to be found. He walked out of the tent and she was wasn't out there either. He figured that she was at a nearby creek, perhaps cleaning her flesh. Feeling the sudden urge to relieve himself, he walked into the bushes and pulled down his pants to let out his waste. After he finished, he walked back to their set up when he saw Tsunade walking back, dressed in her shinobi clothes and drying her hair with a white towel.

"Hi." He said, not sure if he should say anything but that.

"Hey." She replied and went back into the tent. He realized that she didn't wish to exchange anymore words with him so he shrugged his shoulders and went to the creek himself to have a quick bath. The creek wasn't too far from camp so he got there quickly and discarded his clothes and hopped in. He scrubbed his flesh until it was clean and when he was refreshed, he hopped out, dried himself with his towel and put his shinobi clothes on. He took his time to return to camp, not wanting to go there too quickly to be plunged in awkward silence in the presence of Tsunade. When he finally returned, she was sitting around the now extinguished fire, eating a cup of assorted fruits. He looked around in his bag and found that he only packed cans of chili so he settled with it and devoured the chunky meal. After he was done, he packed his things and Tsunade did the same. Once everything was packed, they headed off again.

They walked in silence once again and feeling as if he couldn't bear another moment of silence, he spoke up, "Are we going to continue doing this?" Jiraiya said. He wasn't sure if he should be bringing up what happened between them but he couldn't just pretend that it never happened. Yes he was hurt by what she did to them and he was trying to fall out of love with her but that didn't mean that they couldn't still be friends. No matter what, Tsunade would always mean a lot to him.

"Continue doing what?" She snapped, dreading where this conversation was going.

"Pretend that nothing happened between us, not talk to each other. We can't just act as if it never happened."

"Can we not talk about this." She pleaded, not in the mood to discuss such a thing.

"I don't want our friendship to end. I'm still hurt and I'm still feeling like I was used but believe it or not Tsunade, I don't hate you, I still want-"

"Just shut up!" She shouted, "We're not talking about this!"

"Yes we are! Why can't we just have a civilized conversation about this?" He said and stopped walking, causing her to cease her steps as well.

"Because I don't want to! I just want to get this war over with and go home to Shizune. I don't want to think about what happened between us. I just want to forget about it. I have been trying to forget and you just had to bring it up! Just drop it!" She shouted and started to walk again.

Feeling defeated, he followed behind her. Why didn't she want to talk about it? The answer to that question was beyond him and he felt as if he would never get an answer. Were things always going to be like this between them?

They continued walking, passing through different villages and towns. Each village was different, having a different structure, customs and traditions. If circumstances were different, they would have enjoyed seeing different places and how others lived but now, all they wanted to do was go home. Furthermore, neither slept last night so they were extremely tired. They were like the walking dead, completely oblivious to their surroundings, only concerned about the thoughts circulating in their heads.

* * *

They finally got to the spot where they would meet Orochimaru. They weren't there for too long until they saw their teammate walking out from behind a tree, making himself noticeable to his comrades. He was dressed in the same thing as them but only, his weapons looked as if they have been used a lot and he had some blood stains on his clothing. He had been in the depths of war and emerged alive. He was not only skilled but extremely lucky. Even the finest of shinobis met an untimely death in war. It didn't matter how many Justu you possess or how experienced you are. War is war and war is unpredictable.

"You're finally here." He stated.

"Were you waiting long?" Jiraiya asked.

"Only a couple of hours." He smirked and looked at Tsunade, "Nice to see you out and ready for war Tsunade. I was beginning to think that your grief crippled you and rendered you useless."

"Shut up asshole." Tsunade snapped.

"I trust that you and Jiraiya worked everything out."

Tsunade glared at him and if looks could kill, Orochimaru would no longer be living. The black haired man noticed this look and came to the conclusion that they didn't work anything out.

"So you didn't. That means that Jiraiya is still pissed off at you." He stated, "You know princess Tsunade, it isn't nice to use a man for his body."

Tsunade's heart stopped within her chest when she heard those words and immediately turned to Jiraiya, "You told him?!"

Jiraiya nervously rubbed the back of his head and by that action Tsunade got her answer.

"You asshole! Who else did you tell?!"

Jiraiya didn't answer but instead Orochimaru answered for him, "Sarutobi sensei told me about it although I already knew."

This made Tsunade angry for she walked up to Jiraiya and slapped him across his face, "What the hell is wrong with you?! How could you tell them about that?! You've not only embarrassed me but made me feel like a whore!"

"I should be the one feeling like a rented out man whore! After all you used me for my dick!"

"I hate you!" She screamed and immediately after, she saw Jiraiya fall to the floor. Only when he was face down in the dirt did she see a large shuriken protruding out of his back and a wave of shuriken coming their way like a tsunami. They were under attack.

* * *

**The battle begins in the next chapter so keep your eyes open for that.**

**I sincerely hope that you had fun reading this because once again I had fun writing it.**

**Please remember to review/follow etc. etc.**

**Thanks for reading!**

**Xoxoxo**


	6. Chapter 6

Jiraiya's body fell to the ground with a large crash and he was soon lying in a puddle of his own red, sticky blood. He was stabbed in the back with a large shuriken and the pain was so much that it overwhelmed and crippled him. He felt himself slip in and out of consciousness and every sound around him was no more than a distant echo. Soon after he collapsed, a wave of shuriken came their way. Tsunade and Orochimaru sprung into action, whipping out their kunais to deflect each weapon headed towards them. With each of their swift movements, the enemy weapons were reduced to nothing but dented scraps of metal, lying helplessly in the grass. The weapons were no longer being thrown but instead, Amegakure ninjas who more than likely served the main enemy, Hanzo of the Salamander, were coming their way. Hanzo was the man who bestowed the title of Sannin on Orochimaru, Jiraiya and Tsunade a few months back. They survived their first battle with him and returned to the Leaf Village but now, they would more than likely have to face him again.

The ninjas didn't hesitate to throw a kunai at Jiraiya to try to kill him off so that they would have one less person to deal with, but luckily Orochimaru reacted in time and blocked their fatal attack with his kunai, "Tsunade, take Jiraiya and heal him. I'll hold them off in the meantime."

Tsunade said nothing but quickly did as she was told. Yes, she was in a sticky situation with Jiraiya but she couldn't just let him die. He was a part of their team and for that, she was responsible for his life. She quickly bent down to the bleeding man and draped one of his limp arms around her shoulder and dragged him into a nearby cave. One of the ninjas saw them escaping the confrontation and went after them but Orochimaru sent his snake sword straight through the man's body, piercing into him until the man went limp and died, "Go quickly!" Orochimaru shouted and pursued the other ninjas.

Once in the safety of the cave, Tsunade worked quickly. There was no time for hesitation for he was bleeding profusely through his wound and was slowly but surely slipping away. The point of the shuriken was buried three inches into his back, causing him excruciating pain. With one quick movement, she pulled the weapon out of his back and the moment she did that, blood spewed out of it, covering her hands and clothes in the deep red substance. She placed her hands over the wound and immediately poured her healing chakra into it. Her hands glowed green as she worked on him. Never losing concentration, she maintained a steady flow of chakra, directing it into the pierced flesh and muscles. Little by little, the wound closed up and Jiraiya regained his consciousness.

"I-I need to sit up." He muttered, suddenly feeling uncomfortable in the position he was in. Tsunade stopped her chakra flow and allowed him to sit up. After he did that, she placed her hands on his wound and started to heal him once again.

"Where's Orochimaru?" Jiraiya asked, just noticing the absence of their other teammate.

"He's fighting the ninjas who attacked us." Tsunade said, "We'll rejoin him after I finish healing you."

"No!" He shouted and rose to his feet, stumbling as he did so, "We must go back out there now. He's all alone and needs our help!"

Tsunade rose to her feet as well, "What help would you be if you collapse on the battlefield because you aren't completely healed yet?!"

"I feel fine!" He said, bending the truth a little. The truth was that his back was still sore due to the almost fatal injury he sustained but he couldn't let Orochimaru fight on his own. Orochimaru was many things. He was uncaring, cold and strange but he was still their teammate and teammates stick together.

"You aren't fine though! I'm a medic so there's no use in lying to me. I can't see that you're still in pain!"

"You obviously don't give two shits about your teammates but I do!" He snapped, "I'm going out there to help him and if you don't want to join me then to hell with you!"

"If you want to go out there and kill yourself then be my guest!" She shouted, "I'm going to go help Orochimaru because unlike you, he's not a stubborn, pig headed asshole!"

She ran out of the cave to go to Orochimaru's aid, completely uncaring about the sure pain that Jiraiya was in. He was being stubborn and wouldn't listen to her reasoning so he deserved to suffer. If he dropped down on the battlefield then so be it. Jiraiya muttered a few expletives under his breath due to the pain that ripped through his body but took a deep breath and tried not to think about the pain before he joined his teammates. Maybe he should have listened to Tsunade but in the heat of the moment he wasn't thinking clearly. He just hoped that he would survive the battle that he was now running into.

* * *

"Back so soon?" Orochimaru said as he noticed Tsunade come by his side.

"Yup." She stated before she left his side to pursue one of the ninjas. He came at her with aggression and held out his kunai to her in an attempt to stab her but when he came close enough to her, she kicked him with such force, such power, that he ended up pinned against a tree with every bone in his body cracked. From the looks of it, one of his cracked ribs, pierced one of his lungs and he was now gasping for air. It was as if he was breathing through a straw. He stayed there, unable to move, suffocating until his air supply was cut off. The remaining two ninjas were now tackling Orochimaru so Tsunade went to his aid. Orochimaru took hold of one of them and didn't hesitate for a second before he sliced the ninja's neck in a straight line across, from ear to ear. With a slit throat, the ninja fell to the ground and Orochimaru watched as he bled out. Tsunade on the other hand used her medical ninjutsu to paralyze her opponent and when he was crippled, she punched the life out of him until he stopped breathing. The enemies were all dead and now it was only Tsunade and Orochimaru standing victorious among the corpses.

"Where's Jiraiya?" Orochimaru asked, noticing that Jiraiya was nowhere to be found, "I thought you healed him."

"I was healing the bastard and as soon as he got the strength to stand up he refused to let me heal him any further. Therefore I don't give a damn where he is."

"Tsunade, he isn't fully healed. He might be collapsed somewhere trying to hold on to whatever life he has left in him." He smirked and then started to giggle, "That poor old fool. That's what he gets for being stubborn." He shrugged his shoulders and started to move off, "Let's go find somewhere safe to stay for the night."

"What?" Tsunade said confused, "So we aren't going to look for him?"

"Didn't you just say that you didn't care where he was?"

"I didn't mean that idiot!" Tsunade said, now running in the opposite direction, trying to find Jiraiya.

"Where are you going?" Orochimaru called out.

"I'm going to find him idiot!"

Feeling obligated to follow Tsunade, Orochimaru trailed behind her in her search for the stubborn white haired man.

* * *

Jiraiya was running towards the battlefield in order to help his teammates. Pain was ripping through his body and left him in complete agony but he didn't give up, he still pushed himself to continue running. It probably wasn't a good idea and perhaps he should have allowed Tsunade to fully heal him but there was no use crying over spilt milk. Tsunade was gone and there was nothing he could do about it. As he was running, he felt a ripping sensation in his back around the area where he was stabbed. It didn't take him too long to realize that his wound reopened for he felt a warm liquid which he suspected to be blood running down his back. A sharp and intense pain ran through his body and caused him to go weak in the knees. He fell face down on the hard, dusty ground. When his body made contact with the ground the pain only intensified and he received a bloody gash to the forehead due to it's hard impact on the ground. His eyes fluttered open and closed as he fought to maintain his consciousness but he lost his battle and found himself engulfed in absolute darkness.

Tsunade and Orochimaru were on their way to Jiraiya. They searched all over the place in every nook and cranny of the forest but he was nowhere to be found. Tsunade regretted ever leaving him alone, not fully healed. If anything happened to him she would blame herself. As the only medical ninja on the team it was her responsibility to heal her comrades and yet she failed to do that. If word of this got to Sarutobi, she wouldn't hear the end of it. She had no idea why she was so worried. All that was on her mind was finding Jiraiya. Maybe she cared so much because she felt bad for leaving him or perhaps it was because of something else. Whatever her reasons for her concern, she just wanted to find him and heal him.

"We've been searching for a long time Tsunade." Orochimaru stated while he watched as Tsunade walked around, looking for their comrade, "Perhaps we should forget about him and get some rest. We're going into the war tomorrow and there's no telling what will happen. We need to recover from today's battle so that we can be as strong as possible for tomorrow."

Tsunade was ignoring every word that her unsympathetic teammate was saying. She tuned him out and continued to search.

"We need to think about the mission. The more rest we get, the more successful we will be." He said and continued to watch Tsunade ignore him, "Why do you care about him anyway? Don't tell me you want to save him just to get another sexual favor from him."

This caused Tsunade's blood to boil for she approached the black haired man and punch him so hard that like the enemy ninja from earlier, he found himself against a tree that was now broken down due to his body's impact on it. Luckily for him, she didn't punch him as hard as the now deceased Amegakure ninja. Tsunade walked over to his sore body and pulled him close to her face by grabbing hold of the neckline of his shirt, "I want to save him because he's a part of this team asshole! Three is better than two and if he's with us, the likelihood of success increases!" She threw him down into the broken bark which caused him more pain, "How could you be so willing to forget about your teammate like that?! He's your friend and he would do anything for you! The very sight of you disgusts me and I sincerely hope that you rot in hell!"

Tsunade stormed off, leaving Orochimaru behind. She didn't need his help. No, she would find Jiraiya on her own and when she did, she would heal him completely. She walked for what seemed like hours before she stumbled upon an object that looked like feet coming from behind a tree. She approached it with caution with a kunai in hand just in case it was a trap from the enemy. Slowly she approached the tree and when she was finally there, she saw Jiraiya, face down on the floor. His wound was bleeding again, causing his white hair to obtain the color of red mixed with dirt from the dusty floor and his forehead was home to a nasty gash with blood running down his face. His forehead protector must have fallen off when he was falling to the ground for it was discarded beside him. His breathing was shallow, he was unconscious and he was an absolute mess. Tsunade didn't hesitate to rip the shirt off his back and immediately began to pour her chakra into him. How damaged he was and it was all her fault. If she could relive that moment when she stormed away from him, she would but this time she would pin him to the ground and forcibly heal him completely. But now, she refused to stop her chakra flow until his wound was no longer existent. Even if she had to release her seal to get more chakra, she would. She would not allow him to die.

For what seemed like forever, Tsunade healed the wound on his back until it was completely healed. It was now as if he had never received a stab wound. He was still unconscious though, so she gently flipped him over and worked on the gash on his forehead. She directed her chakra to the wound until it disappeared. He still had a little scratch on his flesh where the wound was but that would disappear in time. It wasn't safe to stay out in the open like that so she draped his limp arm around her shoulder like before and walked until she found a safe place to stay for the night. She walked and walked, trying to manage the weight of Jiraiya and soon stumbled across another cave. She let out a sigh of relief and walked into the cave and laid Jiraiya gently on the ground. He was still unconscious so she took the opportunity to clean him up a bit. She reached into her bag and pulled out a bottle of water and a wash cloth. She wet the cloth with the water and pressed it against his forehead. She wiped away all the dust and the dirt that accumulated on his face from being face down in the dirt for so long. When his forehead was free of blood and grime, she moved on to his torso. She rubbed his body clean with the washcloth and then poured the bottle of water over his hair, ridding it of blood and dirt. He was now somewhat clean and she figured that it was the best she could do. Afterwards, she reached into her bag again and pulled out some crackers and an extra bottle of water and ate in silence, waiting for Jiraiya to wake up.

* * *

Jiraiya's eyes fluttered open and saw sunlight streaming into the shadowy place where he was lying. He was confused as to how he ended up in there for all he remembered was feeling excruciating pain and passing out. However, his pain was gone and he was no longer covered in blood or wearing a shirt. He rose into a sitting position and looked around the place he was in. He figured he was in a cave after seeing the stalactites and stalagmites all around the enclosed space but then his eyes fell upon a sleeping form with blonde hair. It was Tsunade! Tsunade found him, healed him and saved him from his certain demise. But why? Why did she do all of that when she made it so clear that she hated every bone in his body. And where was Orochimaru?

He sat there, not sure about what he should do. Should he wake her up or should he just leave her alone? Today was the day that they were to enter the war so they should get moving but he was so reluctant to approach Tsunade. His worries and concerned only intensified when he saw her stirring. He watched as her eyes opened and as she got up. She looked directly at him and he could sense that she too was unsure of herself. However, she spoke to him.

"I was beginning to think that you would never get up." She said and rose to her feet, "How are you feeling?" She asked and walked towards him, only sitting down when she was beside him.

"All my pain is gone. Did you heal me?"

"Of course I did. I wasn't about to make you die."

"T-Thank you."

"Don't thank me." She said softly, "I healed you because with you around, the likelihood of us coming out of this alive will increase. Also as a medical ninja it's my duty to heal you."

Jiraiya just nodded his head, not sure about what to say to that.

"Where's Orochimaru?" He asked.

"Who cares where that asshole is."

"What happened between you two."

"Nothing important." She lied, not willing to tell him that she punched him into a tree for not wanting to help Jiraiya. She reached into her bag and pulled out some white bandages, "I have to wrap your torso to prevent your wound from opening up again." She began to wrap him in the bandages and couldn't help but feel aroused by the sight of his muscles. When she was healing him last night, it was too dark to see a thing and the situation was too dire to allow herself to be turned on by the feel of his toned body but now that it was daylight she admired each and every one of his muscles. Her mind wondered to the day that they had sex. Never in her life did something feel so good. He treated her like a woman when he felt each part of her body and pleasured her. The way he touched her breasts and kissed each and every part of her body, leaving nothing untouched drove her insane. A deep red tint rose to her cheeks and luckily Jiraiya never noticed it for she quickly suppressed her feelings and maintained her composure. She quickly bandaged him and walked away.

"I'm going to the river." She announced, feeling somewhat flustered, "When I come back we'll head out."

She quickly walked out of the cave and headed straight to a nearby river. It was a scenic view that made on feel completely at peace but she ruined that vibe when she stormed into the area feeling embarrassed and confused. She kneeled down at the bank of the river and splashed it's cool water on her face in an attempt to calm herself down. Why was she thinking about the passion that they had for each other that one and only time they had sex? She wasn't sure and she wasn't about to try to figure out a reason for her answer. All she had to focus on now was being victorious in the blood bath that they would soon walk into.

Suddenly she felt an unwanted presence coming from behind her and quickly turned around to see Orochimaru standing before her. He looked as if he was bruised up for he wasn't standing straight like usual. He was somewhat slouched over. She had to take the blame for that. After all, she did punch him into a tree.

"What are you doing here?" She asked, feeling disgusted by the very sight of him, "I thought I told you to go to hell."

"I'm still a part of this team remember."

"Really?" She smirked, "After you were so willing to leave our teammate on his death bed? I don't think so." She proceeded to walk past him until he spoke up.

"This is war Tsunade. You need to put the past in the past and move on. I'm here to help us emerge victorious from this war. You know you need my help."

"The only thing I need from you is for you to get the hell out of my sight!"

"Tsunade."

"What?!"

"Heal me."

"Go to hell! There's no way that I'm going to do that!"

"There's no time to argue woman! There's a raging war going on and we need to put an end to it! Don't think that you're doing me a favor because you're not. By healing me you're helping the Leaf Village. Imagine us not winning the war. What will become of the village? Imagine all the blood that will be shed, the lives lost! We have no time to waste here!"

There was much sense in what Orochimaru was saying and as much as it pained her to admit it, Orochimaru was right. They were all strong but they worked better as a team. Together they would emerge victorious.

"Damn it." She cursed and walked over to Orochimaru and placed her hand on his back, healing him in the process. It took her a few moments but he was as good as new and ready to fight, "After this war, don't come near me. Got it?"

"Fine by me." He giggled, "I have more important things to do with my time than hanging out with the likes of you."

"Great!" She said, "So do I."

They walked back to the cave and as they did that Tsunade wondered how their relationship deteriorated to what it is now so fast. In their youth, they were the best of friends since they were both over achievers. Unlike the relationship that Tsunade shared with Jiraiya, they always got along, mostly because Orochimaru wasn't perverted nor annoying like Jiraiya. But now, the couldn't even call themselves friends. They were more like acquaintances on the brink of being enemies.

They walked into the cave and now Jiraiya was dressed in his shinobi attire and had his forehead protector tightly fastened over his forehead to prevent any more unwanted injures.

"Orochimaru, where have you been?" He asked.

Tsunade glared at Orochimaru, silently telling him not to reveal the real reason as to why he was missing. How hurtful it would be for Jiraiya to know that his best friend was willing to leave him to die. No, he would never know.

Orochimaru noticed Tsunade's death glare and decided to do as she wanted, "I was busy surveying the area, looking for any unwanted company." He lied, "Shall we get moving then?"

Tsunade and Jiraiya gathered their belongings and headed out with Orochimaru to the war. They had no idea what to expect for war was always unpredictable but they were determined to come out of it alive. They were all too young to perish so soon and Tsunade had Shizune to worry about. She made a promise to that little girl that she would come back alive and she wasn't planning on breaking that promise. With her teammates fighting alongside her, she knew that she would make it out alive because they were strong, they were the Three Legendary Sannin of the Leaf Village.

* * *

The trio made their way to the depths of the war. The closer they got to the battlefield, the more blood and corpses they saw. It was so bleak, so morbid, so sad but they couldn't cower in fear. No, they got so far that there was no going back now. They've passed the point of no return and it was time for them to give the battle their all and become victorious. They had the lives of millions on their shoulders. That was a heavy burden to carry but when they thought about all the children whose lives would be in danger, all the innocent faces, they carried that burden proudly because it was their duty to protect their home and all the people in it.

They were true patriots of their homeland so they would defend it with all their might, especially Tsunade. She was the granddaughter of the First Hokage, the man who built the village so there was no way that she would allow the enemy to stomp all over her ancestor's treasure. She would lay down her life for her village.

They finally arrived at the battlefield but before they went into the blood bath, they stayed at a distance to observe the area. All that could be seen were dead, bloody bodies, people fighting mercilessly, explosions and blood shed. It was a terrible sight, a sight that could make one so frightened that they would run far, far away. But there would be no running away for them. They had to go down to face the enemy.

"Are you guys ready for this?" Jiraiya asked, eyeing both Tsunade and Orochimaru. If they were nervous, they were doing a great job of hiding it because no signs of nervousness and uncertainty were seen in their faces. They were being brave and professional. They were being exactly what they were; Sannin of the Leaf Village.

They nodded their heads, never taking their eyes off of the battlefield before them.

"Let's go then." Jiraiya stated, "Remember that we're fighting for our village."

They came out of hiding and walked confidently into the battlefield. As they were walking in, they saw an ally ninja who was no more than fourteen years old approach the leader of the war, Hanzo. She had a kunai in her hand and a look of complete terror on her face. It looked as if she was planning on trying to kill him but for her it was nearly impossible. She was no more than a Chunin and Hanzo was stronger than a Jounin. The difference in their strength was as clear as day and if that girl really had the intentions of killing him, she would surely die instead.

"You have got to be kidding me." Hanzo laughed, "They send a child before me?"

"I-I will de-defeat you!" She said with a shaky voice. She was obviously afraid but she was determined to defeat him. She jumped at him with her kunai and tried to stab him but he simply punched her away from him. She landed on her back and nearly cracked her spine due to the force that he used but she managed to rise to her feet, nearly stumbling onto the floor in the process. She wiped away some blood that was dripping from the side of her mouth and grabbed her kunai that was on the floor. She wasn't going to back down.

"Not giving up I see." Hanzo said in a condescending tone, "For being so stubborn, I will kill you where you stand!" He said before he started to make some hand signs. He was just about to unleash his jutsu when a large puff of smoke appeared that was so thick that the girl could not be seen. He held back until the smoke cleared and when he did, standing before him was a giant toad, a giant slug and a giant snake. Standing on top of the frog was Jiraiya, Tsunade was on top of the slug and Orochimaru was standing on the snake. They unleashed their summoning jutsu and immediately stood out in the war.

A smile appeared on Hanzo's face when he saw the spectacle before him, "So my three Sannin decided to show their faces. Came to thank me for bestowing such a title on you? How sweet."

The girl slowly looked behind her and when she saw the giant animals, she nearly screamed. Never in her life has she seen such huge animals. Realizing that this battle was beyond her abilities, she fled the area and looked for some place safe to hide until the battle was over.

"We came here to defeat you." Orochimaru stated the obvious.

"Defeat me?!" He laughed, "I know you three are strong but do you actually believe that you can defeat the likes of me?"

Tsunade's anger overcame her and she instructed her slug Katsuyu to unleash her power, "Katsuyu now!"

"Right away Lady Tsunade." She said and turned to Hanzo, "Acid slime!" She shouted and squirted acid through her mouth. Unfortunately he dodged her attack and instead of the acid burning him to the bone, it landed on the ground and caused a huge crater to form in the earth.

"Damn it." Tsunade cursed.

"Surely you'll have to do better than that if you wish to defeat me sweetheart." Hanzo mocked and further angered Tsunade.

"Shut up!" She shouted and was about to jump off of Katsuyu to pursue him directly before Orochimaru stopped her.

"No Tsunade! Don't be so hasty."

Suddenly, Hazo's salamander released green poisonous gas from his mouth.

"Watch out! That gas is poisonous!" Jiraiya shouted to his teammates and moved away from the toxic fumes with Gamabunta. Tsunade and Katsuyu did the same but instead of jumping, Katsuyu divided into millions of smaller versions of herself and moved away while Tsunade jumped away from the attack and Orochimaru and Manda moved away from the poison. They were now behind Hanzo and Jiraiya and Gamabunta combined their skills to make a large fire bomb. Jiraiya used his fire style Justu and blew the fire into the oil coming out of his frog's mouth. The attack was directed at Hanzo but he simply dodged it.

"Tsunade watch out!" Jiraiya shouted as he saw paper bombs traveling to Tsunade. The bombs started to travel up her legs but were stopped when Jiraiya used his jutsu to wrap his hair around her body, concealing her as well as himself from the dangers of the paper bombs. They exploded one by one but left Tsunade and Jiraiya unharmed.

Jiraiya unwrapped his hair from her and fell to his knees, feeling drained from that act of defense. His chakra levels were running low and he could feel the effects of that taking place.

"I'm sorry you had to do that for me." Tsunade said and helped him to his feet.

Orochimaru took the opportunity to have Manda wrap himself around the salamander. Manda was successful in this and managed to squeeze the very life out of the slimy creature. It was nothing more than a lifeless body now. This angered Hanzo for he now no longer had his trusted summoned animal. He wrapped his hands around Orochimaru's neck and proceeded to strangle him until he was no longer breathing. Orochimaru could feel his air supply be cut off and he was becoming limp in the enemy's hands. Only when Tsunade charged at him with her medical ninjutsu and short circuited him, did Hanzo release his grip on Orochimaru's neck. He fell to the ground but was helped up by Jiraiya. Hanzo was now at the mercy of Tsunade hands and she didn't hesitate to punch him directly in the face, breaking his nose in the process. He screamed out in pain but he couldn't move for Tsunade confused the nerves in his body. He didn't know what to do or how to recover from such a Justu, he was defeated. Orochimaru approached the paralyzed man and regurgitated the snake he had within his body. The snake then regurgitated a long sword and the moment it did that, Orochimaru, pierced the sword straight through Hanzo's heart. He passed away instantly and his dead body laid there with blood leaking out until no blood was left in his body. He was lying in a pool of his own blood right beside his salamander. That was the end of the man who terrorized millions. The war was finally over.

* * *

Orochimaru, Jiraiya and Tsunade were standing before the monuments that had the names of all those innocent people who perished in the war, engraved in it's concrete. They were back in the leaf village and after reporting their success to the Hokage, they decided to pay their respects to those who have fallen. So many names were before them, even those of children. Nawaki's name was among them and that made Tsunade happy. At least he would be remembered and honored for dying for his village.

It was a breath of fresh air that the war was done and over with. Perhaps now, people can breathe a sigh of relief and go on with their lives. How long would the peace last though? How soon would it be until war breaks out again? Living in the ninja world meant living in fear, waiting for the next war to emerge. It was a tough life but nobody could do anything about it. As long as hate existed, war would always be ever present. Just a spark of animosity and hatred was needed to start a fire.

Lives were indeed lost but lives were also saved. If it wasn't for the Sannin, many more lives would have been lost and a lot more blood would have been shed. They should be proud of their accomplishments but all that they were was tired. They were tired of war and hatred. They just wanted a world of peace but they knew that a world where nobody hated would never exist. That broke their hearts, well the hearts of Tsunade and Jiraiya. It seemed as if Orochimaru felt no pain while staring at the stone monument. He was expressionless and his mind seemed to be far off. He was surely thinking about something but nobody had any idea what was on his mind. Surely he showed a different side of him when he was all too willing to leave behind Jiraiya. Sure he was cold and indifferent but he was never like that to Jiraiya or to Tsunade. They practically grew up together so they were like his siblings and yet he treated them so badly. He was ready to leave Jiraiya to die and he said cruel, unforgivable things to Tsunade. What was wrong with him? Why was he acting like this? Those answers were beyond them for they just couldn't seem to figure Orochimaru out. It was as if they didn't know him at all.

"Why is it that we can't live in a world with peace? Why must there always be war?" Jiraiya said as his finger gently outlined the names of those who died on the monument.

"Jiraiya you fool." Orochimaru smirked, "There will never be peace in this world. The sooner you figure that out, the better it will be for you."

Jiraiya ignored Orochimaru's comment and continued to stare at the monument.

"I will be taking my leave now." Orochimaru announced, "There is much work that needs to be done. Perhaps when you see me again I shall be immortal..." He walked away into the sunset and neither Tsunade nor Jiraiya knew what to make his words out to be. Immortal? That was impossible. Just what was Orochimaru up to?

They stood there for a few more moments until Jiraiya broke the silence, "I'm sorry for not listening to you." He blurted out, "Perhaps if I did I wouldn't have collapsed. I'm sorry."

"I'm the one who should be apologizing." She said, "It was my duty to heal you and I failed to do that so it was my fault."

"You only failed to heal me because I wouldn't allow it."

"Can we just forget about it?" She pleaded, "You're fine now and that's all that matters."

They were silent once again. There was a strong feeling of awkwardness in the air. They didn't know what to say to each other or what to do. They had no idea where their relationship was now and neither was willing to bring it up. Things have gotten so complicated that they reached the point where they weren't sure if they could continue being around each other. To think that they're relationship has come to this just because of one stupid mistake.

"So..." Jiraiya began, "The war is over, what are you going to do now?"

Tsunade looked directly into his obsidian eyes and said something that he never expected to hear, "Move on..."

She said that with such seriousness but also with a hint of regret. Did she mean that she wanted to move on from the war or from him? He wasn't sure but if she wanted to move on from him, he would understand. After all, he was trying to move on from her as well.

"And you... What are you going to do?" She asked, with her eyes still locked onto his.

He thought about it for a second. Yes, he told Sarutobi that he was going move on with his life and forget about Tsunade. She used him and hurt him and he deserved better than that. He looked deep into her eyes and said something that he never thought he would ever say to her, "I'm going to move on..."

She nodded her head, understanding the hidden message in his words. She accepted it but for some reason, she felt sad. She didn't understand her emotions and in that moment she didn't attempt to understand them. She was too exhausted to think about her complicated situation. All she wanted to do was go home, have a long relaxing bath and crawl into bed in an attempt to forget about all the horrors that she witnessed in the blood bath that they called war.

She turned her back to him and before she walked away from him she said, "I don't hate you by the way."

He watched as she walked away from him and his heart was in knots. He couldn't help but feel as if that was the last time he would ever see her. He agreed to let her go but a part of him still wanted to run after her and hold her in his arms, never to let go again.

* * *

** Updated early because of all the great reviews! **

**I just want to make a few things clear. I know that Orochimaru, Tsunade and Jiraiya didn't actually kill Hanzo in the manga and anime but in this story they did. And as for their Sannin title; in this story, they fought him a while back in the initial stages of the war and survived that battle so he gave them their Sannin title. They returned to the Leaf Village afterwards but the war was not over. As you know, Sarutobi sent them back in the final stages of the war and that's when they killed him. I hope you guys aren't a confused or anything.**

**Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Thank you to my faithful reviewers, especially Mafia13 (you're awesome by the way). And thank you to all of you who favorited and followed this story. All your support means the world to me and encourages me to write more and more and dish out the chapters even faster. **

**Keep your eyes open for the next chapter!**

**Bye!**

**Xoxoxoxo**


	7. Chapter 7

One week ago the war ended and the Leaf emerged victorious thanks to the three Legendary Sannin. There was a lot of blood shed but many lives were saved at the same time. War was nothing but an unnecessary act that resulted in the untimely deaths of innocent people. Oh what horrors the trio witnessed when they were forced to rejoin the war. They saw countless bodies scattered on the floor like fallen leaves from a tree and in every corner they looked, crimson red blood was pooled on the ground. It was horrible, so horrible but thankfully that was all in the past now. However, they were not willing to talk about the nightmare that they lived through, well at least Tsunade and Jiraiya didn't want to speak of it. Orochimaru didn't seem to care. It was an opportunity to kill without a price to pay so he was completely fine with it. Tsunade and Jiraiya however, spent endless nights waking up in a cold sweat due to a horrible nightmare that they experienced in their sleep. How terrible it was for them to relive each and every moment of the battle they had to participate in. They saw bodies falling lifelessly to the ground and blood being splattered all over the place. It would definitely take some time for those nightmares to cease to exist.

Since they returned to the village, Tsunade and Jiraiya have not spoken nor seen each other. Their relationship was strained, on the verge of becoming non existent and with each passing moment, their relationship would further deteriorate. He was still feeling used and his hurt was still evident in his life. Never once did she ever apologize for what she did, the pain that she caused him and in the back of his mind he knew that he would never receive an apology. Tsunade had too much pride for that and she was much too stubborn to ever give in and apologize. She didn't want to be around him at all so every opportunity she had, she avoided him as if he were plagued with a grave disease. Her guilt was becoming too much for her to handle and she just couldn't bring herself to apologize to him or even face him without feeling like a terrible person. She wished, oh how she wished things could be different between them, that they could simply go back to the strange but good relationship that they shared from when they were children, but it turns out that when you sleep with someone, your relationship changes for the better or the worse. In her case, their relationship took a turn for the worse.

It made him incredibly sad to think that after all they have been through in their childhood till now, that their relationship has actually come to being one that was on the brink of becoming non existent. All his life, he thought that somehow he would end up with her and live happily ever after but obviously that was never going to happen. He vowed to himself that he would forgot about her and move on with his life but that was proving to be the most difficult thing that he ever had to do in his life. He often found himself staying up at night just thinking about her and envisioning her perfect smile. He loved her smile more than anything in the world but has not seen it in a while. He remembered the day that he got the once in a lifetime opportunity to make sweet passionate love to her. That was by far, one of the best moments in his life and he wished with all his heart that it could have turned out better in the end. He wanted to start a relationship with her but she wouldn't have any of it and that broke his heart into millions of scattered pieces. He had to be strong, he had to get over her. He deserved that much but why was it so hard for him to do just that?

When he returned to the village, he was given strict instructions by his doctor to stay at home and rest. Tsunade healed him completely but he was still a little woozy from the injury he sustained. He spent three weeks at home, taking his time to recuperate and reflect upon his life. Now he was as good as new and ready to venture out into the village. His first task for the day was to meet his student at their agreed location and train him for a few hours. He had high hopes and aspirations for Minato because he saw him as a natural talent. Jiraiya knew that the little blonde haired boy was destined for greatness and he promised himself that he would help him every step along the way on his journey to excellence.

He made his way over to the lawns of the Academy, the place where they agreed to meet and immediately saw his blonde haired student sitting on the swing, staring into oblivion. Minato was orphaned at a young age so he was all alone. It wasn't a surprise that he was so mature for his tender age of ten for when a child is left alone to fend for himself, he is forced to grow up quickly. Jiraiya felt sorry for the boy because he too knew what it was like to be all alone. He never knew his father and his mother died when he was only fourteen years old. In a sense he was better off than Minato since he was a teenager when his mother died while Minato was just a young child. They could relate and therefore Jiraiya decided to be the father figure that he needed.

"You're early." Jiraiya said as he walked towards the boy.

"Jiraiya sensei." Minato smiled, "I haven't seen you in such a long time."

"It has been quite a while hasn't it." Jiraiya said, trying to recall the last time he saw his student but came up short, "I hope you've been training in my absence."

Minato nodded his head, "I trained everyday."

Jiraiya smiled at how dedicated his student was. He was proud to call himself his teacher.

"So how was it?" Minato asked feeling a bit inquisitive.

"How was what?"

"War."

Jiraiya was hoping that he wouldn't ask that. How was he supposed stand before a ten year old and tell him that he was brutally wounded, saw people die horrible deaths before his very lives and even took a few lives himself? No, a child as innocent as he was shouldn't have to hear about such horrors. He was so young and innocent that Jiraiya didn't want to ruin him.

"Maybe I'll tell you about it when you're older." Jiraiya said, trying to avoid the topic. He didn't wish to tell Minato about the hell he lived through but little did he know that Minato wasn't going to stop pestering him.

"Why can't you tell me now?"

"Because you're too young Minato now, drop it."

"I'm a ninja Jiraiya sensei. One day I may have to go to war and it's only in my best interest to know about what it entails beforehand."

There was much sense in what Minato was saying. For a young child, he was smart but nevertheless Jiraiya was still reluctant. Perhaps Jiraiya himself didn't want to relive the terrible memories of war that were engraved in his mind.

"Here's the deal Minato, if you do really well in training today then I'll tell you about my experiences but if not, then I won't tell you until you're older. Got it?"

"Loud and clear."

* * *

Tsunade and Shizune were walking over to the training field on the outskirts of the village. Today would be the first day of Shizune's training. Tsunade decided to dedicate her time to teaching her the art of medical ninjutsu. Shizune was still very young to be able to understand every single thing relating to medical ninjutsu since it was very complicated and required special concentration and knowledge but nevertheless, Tsunade was going to just teach her the basics from now so that in the future she would be an exceptional medic. Tsunade's faith in Shizune was on the highest level and she believed with all her heart that Shizune would excel in this field.

Shizune walked before Tsunade, giggling as she tried to catch a butterfly that was fluttering before her. She was such a happy little girl, completely oblivious to the guilt that her master felt. Tsunade never uttered a word about Jiraiya to Shizune and she wanted to keep it that way for she knew that Shizune would want to meet him and if they met, Shizune would definitely get attached to him. Jiraiya had a personality that made people want to be friends with him and even if he didn't know it, it was clear that he was great with children. Therefore, he would be left unknown to Shizune.

"Be careful not to fall Shizune." Tsunade called out as she watched Shizune continue her attempt to capture the colorful butterfly. The last thing she wanted to happen was for Shizune to fall and injure herself in some way.

"Yes Lady Tsunade." Shizune said and continued to chase the butterfly but this time she slowed her pace and tried her best to be more careful. However, her attempts were futile and she tripped on a rock that was directly in her path. She fell to the hard floor and scrapped her knee on the rough pavement. She cried out in pain and grabbed hold of her now bleeding knee.

"Shizune!" Tsunade gasped in horror and ran to her side.

Blood was now dripping down her leg and Tsunade didn't think twice before she placed her glowing hand on the wound. Before Shizune's very eyes, her cut disappeared within moments of Tsunade placing her hand on it. Soon all that was left of the injury was a small bruise that was barely recognizable and dried blood. It amazed her and she was curious to know how her cut simply disappeared.

"How did you do that? And your hand, it was glowing green!" Shizune said, still amazed at what she just witnessed. Never in her life has she ever seen something like that and she found herself excited at the very thought of being able to do that so effortlessly.

"That Shizune is medical ninjutsu."

"Medical ninjutsu." She repeated and then realization dawned on her, "Aren't you going to teach me that?"

"That's correct." Tsunade said as she grabbed a handkerchief out of her pocket and dabbed it with her saliva before cleaning away the dried blood on Shizune's leg.

"That's so cool! I want to be able to heal stuff like that too! Can you teach me how to do that now? Oh please say yes Lady Tsunade!"

"Shizune calm down." Tsunade chuckled and helped the child up to her feet, "Before you can heal injuries you must learn the basics. First you must understand what chakra is and how to control it. Chakra control is a key element in becoming a medical ninja."

"I can't wait to learn Lady Tsunade. What you just did was so cool and your hand was glowing! How did you get it to glow? Please tell me!"

Tsunade took hold of Shizune's small hand and started to walk in the direction of the field once again, "Once we get to our destination I will tell you all about it."

"But why can't you tell me now?" Shizune whined.

"The place that we're going to was where I trained when I was a little girl. It's a great learning environment and I think that you will not only learn a lot there but you'll also love it."

"Why will I love it?"

"Because it's a beautiful environment. The grass is green and tall enough tickle your ankles. There are a lot of butterflies there, trees and beautiful flowers of many colors. Trust me Shizune, when you get there you're not going to want to ever leave."

Tsunade's description excited the girl for she was now jumping up and down, "I wanna go there!"

"Well we're almost there."

They continued to walk until they approached the field where Tsunade trained as a little girl. In the middle of the field sat the same three tree stumps that were present when Sarutobi drilled Tsunade and her team with his famous bell test. The objective of the whole test was to retrieve bells from Sarutobi, however there were two bells and three students so one of them were going to be left without a bell. That unlucky student would be tied to the stump until further notice. Of course, nobody wanted to be the unlucky one so they all tried their best, however, Jiraiya was reckless and approached Sarutobi without any thought. In the end, he was caught in all the traps that Sarutobi strategically placed all over the field. He was the only one without a bell so therefore he was tied to the stump. Tsunade held up her bell in front of his face and teased him while he was pinned against the stump. She laughed and mocked him and he stood there absorbing all of her abuse until he reached his breaking point and teased her back. Sarutobi had to pry them away from each other before they killed each other. He sent Tsunade and Orochimaru home and then lectured Jiraiya.

Now as she looked back upon that day, she regretted ever teasing him because now he was one of the strongest ninjas alive. If she could, she would take back all the words of abuse that she bestowed upon him but she didn't have the power to change the past so she couldn't do a thing about the terrible decisions she made, more specifically when she decided to sleep with him. Perhaps if she never did that, she would still be friends with Jiraiya.

Deep down inside she wanted to apologize to him and patch their relationship up until it was brand new so that they could start over but for some reason she just couldn't. Maybe her guilt was so much that she couldn't stand the thought of looking him directly in the eyes without feeling like a horrible human being and so called friend. Even if she decided to apologize, she wouldn't know where to start and she knew that things would be extremely awkward. Instead, she decided to avoid him as much as possible to buy her some time until she got to the point where she could stand before him and say those simple three words, "I am sorry."

Shizune looked around her and was absolutely amazed by the beauty of the field, "It's so pretty here Lady Tsunade!"

"I told you it would be." Tsunade smiled and stood before Shizune, "Now, we should start your first lesson. You have much to learn so we shouldn't waste any time."

"Okay."

"Becoming a medical ninja is perhaps one of the hardest things to do in the life of a ninja. It not only takes knowledge and skill but it requires excellent chakra control and concentration. Medics are important members of a squad. They can not only heal their teammates but can also use medical ninjutsu to defeat their enemies. You see Shizune, medical ninjutsu is very convenient to know."

"What's chakra and how do I control it?"

"Everybody is born with chakra. Chakra is essential to even the most basic technique; it is the moulding of the physical energy present in every cell of the body and the spiritual energy gained from exercise and experience. Once moulded, it can be channelled through the chakra circulatory system, which is just like the regular circulatory system, to any of the three hundred and sixty one chakra points in the body. Chakra allows us to do things that are usually not possible for humans such as walking on water and blowing fire through our mouths. It takes a lot of time, concentration and training to be able to sufficiently build up chakra and the ability to properly control it. Since you're training to become a medic, you must spend a lot of time working on your chakra control."

"It's all so confusing." Shizune whined.

"Don't worry, you're only six. As you get older you'll understand better but for now you must understand that you have to dedicate a lot of time to your training and I won't go easy on you."

"But why won't you go easy on me?"

"Because I see so much potential in you. It will do you no good if I go easy on you."

"I understand."

"Good." Tsunade said and was about to give Shizune another lesson on medical ninjutsu when she spotted a white haired man and a little blonde boy walking into the same field that they were occupying, "Oh crap." Tsunade muttered under her breath when she realized that it was none other than Jiraiya walking onto the field.

She automatically felt flustered and wanted nothing more than to run off of the field with Shizune but her plans were ruined when Jiraiya called out to her.

"Hi Tsunade." He said, feeling just as flustered as Tsunade. He wasn't expecting her to be on the field but he couldn't just pretend as if she wasn't there. It was only common courtesy to say hello.

"Hi." Tsunade said and grabbed Shizune's hand. She was about to make up an excuse to leave but then Jiraiya decided to engage her in conversation.

"This must be the little girl you took in." He said noticing the raven haired girl standing beside his old teammate.

Tsunade's heart was pounding in her chest. He was being so nice, talking to her, pretending as if nothing happened between them and she was feeling like the worst person in the world. Why did he have to be such a good person?

"Yes, this is Shizune." Tsunade said and looked down at the girl, "Shizune, this is Jiraiya, my old teammate."

"Hi Master Jiraiya." She said politely.

Tsunade noticed the boy by Jiraiya's side and out of curiosity asked him about the boy, "And who is this?"

"Oh, this is Minato Namikaze. He's my student. We came here to train but if you were training here before we came we can go somewhere else."

"No that's okay." Tsunade blurted out, "We were just leaving."

"But Lady Tsunade-"

"Say goodbye Shizune." Tsunade demanded, cutting off Shizune.

"B-Bye." Shizune said feeling somewhat confused.

"Seriously Tsunade, if we were intruding-"

"No, we're leaving." Tsunade said and walked away from the two males. She couldn't be around him, she just couldn't. How could she stand before him and act as if everything was fine between them when things were the complete opposite? And why was he being so nice? He should be angry with her and tell her nothing but horrible things and yet he was engaging her in friendly conversation. And then she so rudely cut him off and walked away from him when he was trying to patch up their relationship. Why was she being such a horrible person? How could she ever face him again after that? She just couldn't.

"Why did we leave when we just got there?" Shizune asked, still confused about what just happened a few moments ago. First she met two people for the first time and the next thing she knew she was being dragged away from them when as far as she was concerned, the white haired man only wanted to talk to them. And what of her training?, "I thought you were going to train me."

"Perhaps I'll tell you why we left when you're older but for now don't question it." Tsunade said, "And as for your training, we weren't going to do any physical activity today. I just wanted to show you where I trained as a little kid. I can teach you the basics in the comfort of our home." Tsunade said as she continued to walk home with Shizune by her side.

Shizune wasn't satisfied with her answer so she pressed the topic further, "When Master Jiraiya came with Minato you started to act strangely. He was your teammate so you two should be friends. Why were you being so nervous?"

"Didn't I just tell you not to question it?" Tsunade asked feeling a bit annoyed by the girl's persistence, "Just drop it and walk up." Tsunade couldn't tell her the real reason why they left so abruptly. How could she tell a six year old that she used her teammate for sex and refused to take their relationship to a romantic level and because of that they aren't friends anymore? That would not only taint her innocence but it would be extremely awkward to tell her all of that. Plus, she doubts that a little girl such as Shizune would understand her plight. It was terrible that Tsunade didn't have anybody to talk to about her situation. She had to keep all her thoughts and concerns to herself and make decisions without getting a second opinion. It was hard not having anybody but an innocent little six year old who didn't know anything about the real world.

"He seems nice." Shizune said softly.

"What?" Tsunade said and stopped walking.

"Master Jiraiya seems nice."

This is exactly what Tsunade didn't want to happen. She didn't want Shizune to know about Jiraiya because everybody he meets likes him. She didn't want Shizune to get close to him only to have their relationship shattered because of what Tsunade did to him, "Just forget about him."

"Why? I would love to get to know him."

"Shizune no! Forget that you ever met him!"

"But why? He's your friend isn't he?"

Now that was a question that she couldn't answer. What were they? Friends, acquaintances or something else? She wasn't sure. Tsunade took hold of Shizune's small hand again and continued their walk, "Let's go home."

As long as they stayed in the village, they would always see Jiraiya around. Shizune would someday meet up with him again and when she does, she would always want to be around him until they form a bond. Tsunade and Jiraiya's relationship was on the rocks so Tsunade didn't want Shizune to get close to him but if Shizune ever came across him again, that would be the inevitable. She knew what she had to do but at the same time wished that she didn't have to go through with it.

* * *

"That was Lady Tsunade wasn't it?" Minato asked as he sat down beside his mentor. They just finished their training for the day and he was absolutely exhausted.

"You read about us so you should know that she was indeed Tsunade." Jiraiya said, taking a sip of his water then handing it over to the panting boy beside him.

"Why was she acting so strange?" He asked, "It was as if she didn't want to see you. And she was in such a rush to leave. It was weird."

"Maybe she had something to do." Jiraiya lied. He knew that the reason for her sudden departure was because she didn't want to be around him. So that's what their relationship has come to. Things were so bad between them that she didn't even want to be in his presence.

Things were silent for a while until Minato spoke up, "She's the girl you're in love with isn't she?"

Jiraiya looked at the boy lost for words. He was amazed at how he could know that without being told, "How did you know that?"

"I saw the way you looked at her." He simply said, "It's clear that you have feelings for her. You told me that she doesn't love you back so that would explain why she wanted to leave so bad. What happened between you guys?"

"I'm not going to get into details with a little kid like you but know this, I'm trying to get over her."

"And have you been successful?"

"Not at all..." Jiraiya said sorrowfully. He hated that it was so hard to fall out of love with her. He should be able to easily fall out of love with her due to all the crap she put him through over the years but getting over her was one of the hardest things he ever had to do.

"Maybe if you put some distance between yourselves then you can get over her."

"Perhaps you're right."

"Jiraiya sensei?"

"Yes Minato."

"I did well today, I believe it's time for you to tell me about your experiences at war."

Jiraiya rubbed his temples in frustration, realizing that he wouldn't be able to simply get out of telling him, "Okay Minato you win." He started, "I had terrible experiences at war. The most terrible one was when I almost died."

"You almost died?! Is that the reason why you stayed home for three weeks when you got back?"

"Yes that's the reason. You see, a large shuriken was thrown into my back. It was buried so deep inside of me that I couldn't stand any longer and I was loosing so much blood that I couldn't maintain my consciousness. I don't know what happened after that but I knew exactly what happened when I woke up and saw Tsunade sitting beside me. She was in the process of healing me and she told me that Orochimaru was still fighting our battle by himself. She wasn't finished healing me but I stood up and said that I was going to go help him. Of course she told me to stop being stupid and allow her to finish healing me. I said terrible things to her and she got mad and stormed off to help Orochimaru. I was going to join them but my wound opened up and I was bleeding again. I fell down again and lost consciousness."

"What happened then?" Minato asked, eager to know the rest of the story.

"I woke up and she was there. She must have come back for me and found me lying lifelessly on the ground. She carried me to safety and healed me. When I woke up I wasn't even a bloody mess. She must have cleaned me up too."

"That means she cares about you."

"No she doesn't Minato, she was just doing her job as a medical ninja."

"She didn't have to go back for you, she could have left you to die but she didn't. I'm telling you that deep down, she cares."

Jiraiya didn't believe anything that Minato was saying. There was no way that she cared about him. If she cared, she would have apologized for what she did, "Can we drop the Tsunade topic please."

"Okay fine. But what happened next?"

"We went into the war. It was terrible Minato. So many bodies were lying dead on the ground, blood was everywhere. I saw people die before my very eyes and I was forced to take some lives myself. We went up against our main opponent and together we defeated him and ended the war. Now that it's over, perhaps now we can restore peace."

"I'm glad that you didn't die Jiraiya sensei."

"Me too kid, me too." Jiraiya was so happy to have a child like Minato in his company. He was so kind and genuinely cared about him. He would always be there for that kid, "How about we go get some lunch. Ichiraku ramen perhaps?"

"Sounds great!"

"Okay then let's go."

* * *

The following morning, Tsunade woke up extra early. She had somewhere to go and wasn't planning on taking Shizune with her. She went into Shizune's bedroom and saw that she was still fast asleep. Deciding not to wake her up, she retrieved a piece of paper from Shizune's note book and a pen and composed a note explaining where she was. She taught Shizune how to read a few weeks ago so she knew that the girl wouldn't have any problems reading it. She left the note on the bedside table and ran her fingers through Shizune's straight black hair before leaving the room. She then went into the kitchen and left out a box of cereal and a bowl to place the crunchy breakfast food in so that Shizune wouldn't have to wonder what she would consume when she got up. After ensuring that all the doors were locked, she left the house.

She walked and walked until she got to the Hokage mansion. She walked through the door and kept walking until she approached the door to her sensei's office. As usual, she entered the room without so much as a simple knock. It was early so she wasn't expecting Sarutobi to be in his office so instead of looking for him, she sat in his chair at his desk, waiting for him to grace her with his presence. It didn't take too long until he walked through the door of his office and when he did he was quite shocked to see his only female student sitting at his desk.

"Tsunade what are you doing here?"

"I need to talk to you." She said, not wanting to waste a minute.

"Is it so important that you couldn't wait until later?"

"The earlier I talk to you the better it will be for me."

"Okay Tsunade but, can I have my chair?"

Tsunade got out of his seat and when she did, he sat down and clasped his hands in front of him, "What do you want to talk about?"

"I want to leave the village."

His heart stopped within his chest as she uttered those words. How could she actually want to leave the place where she was born and raised for good? He had to know the reason behind her decision, "Why would you want to do that?"

"The Leaf Village has too many enemies." She started, "Our enemies could attack at any time and that would only create a dangerous living situation for Shizune. It could even be life threatening. The reason why I want to leave is because I'm only looking out for Shizune's well being." She said, trying so hard to hide the real reason for her sudden decision to depart from the village.

"We live in a world of ninjas Tsunade, anywhere you go will be dangerous. Do you want to tell me the real reason for wanting to leave?"

"That is the real reason!" Tsunade lied.

There was a long awkward pause between them. Sarutobi was trying to figure out her real reason for wanting to leave the village but it didn't take him too long to figure it out, "Leaving the village won't solve your problems with Jiraiya."

Tsunade knew she couldn't keep the truth from her sensei. He was a smart man and would have figured it out in no time, "I cause him nothing but pain." She said softly, feeling like the worst friend and person in the world, "I talk down to him, I tease him, I hurt him and... I use him." She said trying to fight back the tears threatening to form in her eyes, "If I continue living here then all I will do is cause him more pain. It's best if I just erase myself from his life. He deserves that much."

"Why won't you just apologize to him?"

"My words of apology will do nothing to mend our friendship! He wants so much out of me, so much things that I'm not willing to give! I can't be around him without feeling like a complete bitch. Just standing before him kills me. I can't continue living like this. Please sensei, please just say that I can leave. Do it for Jiraiya!"

"Tsunade, do you know what you're asking of me?"

"Yes I do, I'm asking you to grant me permission to leave with Shizune."

"You're asking me to rob the village of one of the Sannin. We need you here Tsunade. You're the best medical ninja and an excellent well rounded kunoichi. What will we do without you?" He said and then grew sad, "What will I do without you?"

"What do you mean? You'll be just fine and the village has Jiraiya and Orochimaru as well as other skilled shinobi."

"You are like the daughter that I never had Tsunade." He started, "The very thought of not seeing you everyday breaks my heart. I'm not willing to let you go."

Tsunade walked over to him and bent down on her knees before him, "I promise to stay in touch with you but please, please let me go sensei. I'll go absolutely mad if I stay here. It's time for me to move on with my life."

Sarutobi pressed his old hand against her cheek, "You grew up into such a beautiful woman. I only hope that one day you can find true happiness." He said with a small smile playing on his lips, "As much as I don't want to let you go, I can see that there's nothing I can do or say to change your mind. Even if I refuse, I know that you'll just sneak out and then be labelled as a rogue ninja. I don't want that to happen to you so with a heavy heart I'm giving you permission to take that little girl and leave."

A sad smile appeared on Tsunade's lips. She didn't want to leave her sensei but it had to be done. She had to get out of the village as soon as possible to preserve her sanity. It was for the best, "Thank you." She wrapped her arms around his old yet strong body and then rose to her feet and started to walk towards the door but paused when she heard her sensei's voice.

"He would have forgiven you if you apologized you know. In my heart I know that he wants to mend your friendship."

Tsunade didn't comment on his statement. Instead she opened the door and walked out, not sure if she would ever see her sensei again.

* * *

It was now after noon and Jiraiya was still sleeping. He was never an early riser so it was completely natural for him to still be sleeping at that late hour. Only when he heard a loud knock coming from his front door did he spring up from his slumber. He rubbed his tired eyes and cursed a few expletives under his breath before he groggily got up and answered the door. He looked through the peep hole of the door and saw his sensei standing on the other side. He was curious to know what his sensei was doing at his house since it was quite unusual for him to come in person. Usually he just sent one of his assistants to either relay a message or to order him to his office. When curiosity got the better of him, he opened the door.

"Sarutobi sensei, what brings you to my home?"

"I need to talk to you, it's important."

"Oh, okay." He said, stepping aside to let his mentor in, "Come on in. Sorry for the mess, I wasn't expecting company."

"It looks as if you just got up." Sarutobi said, noticing the rumpled sheets on the bed.

"I did." He said, "Would you like something to drink?"

"No that's okay." He declined, "I won't be long anyway. I have a lot of work to tend to."

"Okay so, what did you want to tell me?"

Sarutobi took a deep breath before he proceeded to tell his student what he came there to say, "It's about Tsunade." He started but was interrupted when he was about to say something else.

"What about her? Is she okay? Did something happen to her?" Jiraiya asked feeling very concerned and eager to hear what his sensei had to say.

"No she's fine. Well, she's okay physically but I think she's emotionally damaged. She feels so guilty about what she did to you that she feels as if apologizing will do nothing but put her in an awkward situation."

"That's bullshit! If she had the common decency to apologize I would gladly accept it and try to fix out broken relationship. We could put the past behind us and start over. I only want her to apologize."

"She's leaving the village for good Jiraiya."

"W-What?" Jiraiya said, feeling his heart tighten within his chest, "Why is she leaving? I don't understand. This is her home, why does she want to leave?"

"She can't stand to be around you anymore. The very sight of you makes her become overwhelmed with guilt. As long as she lives here she will always see you and that is driving her insane."

"You gave her permission to leave?"

"I did."

"Why didn't you try to talk her out of it?"

"I tried but there was nothing I could do or say to change her mind. Her mind is made up and she's leaving tonight. If you want her to stay then I suggest that you find her and stop her." He said and walked towards the door, "I just wanted to let you know."

He opened the door and left, leaving Jiraiya completely confused and shocked at the information that he just received.

What was he going to do? Was he going to stop her or let her go? He wasn't sure and didn't have his mind completely made up yet but he knew that when night came upon them, he would be there at the main gate, waiting for the blonde woman that he was still trying not to love.

* * *

The sun set and it was now night time. The night was still and silent and the only things illuminating the village were the street lights that flickered on one by one and the stars above. Tsunade and Shizune walked through the now empty streets towards the main gate. Their bags were packed and they were now about to leave the place where they were born. They were leaving home. Neither really wanted to go but Tsunade felt as if she had no other options left. She had to leave not only to preserve her mental health but also to save her old teammate from more unnecessary pain.

They were now at the main gate and before they walked out Shizune tugged on the hem of Tsunade's jacket.

"Where will we go Lady Tsunade?" She asked.

"I'm not sure yet Shizune but wherever we go we'll always stick together. Do you trust me?"

"I trust you with all my heart but I'm feeling a bit sad."

"Why are you feeling sad?"

"No matter where we go, no other place will be home to me."

Tsunade felt terrible for tearing that poor child away from the only place she has ever known. How she wished things could be different but there was nothing she could do to make it all better. If she could erase the past and all her bad choices, she would but of course there was no way she could do that.

"One day we'll return."

They started to walk off and Shizune turned her head to take one last look at her home when she spotted a familiar face, "There's Master Jiraiya." She said to Tsunade.

Tsunade instantly froze as she heard Shizune say his name. Why was he there? She turned around to see him standing there, not doing anything but looking directly into her eyes. She didn't say anything or make an attempt to walk towards him. All she did was look into his obsidian eyes. Through his dark orbs she didn't see happiness nor did she see sorrow. What she did see was acceptance. He was silently telling her to go ahead.

She turned around and grabbed Shizune's hand. They proceeded to walk out of the village and for some reason, she couldn't stop the tears from running down her cheeks.

Jiraiya stood there, watching them walk off into the distance until they were no longer visible to him. He decided not to stop her. He just wanted an apology but it never came. He couldn't force her into apologizing and neither could he force her to stay. They were both in a very confusing time in their lives and perhaps distance was what they needed. Maybe one day the winds will blow them back to each other but for now, they were miles and miles apart.

* * *

**Don't kill me. I know that some of you didn't want Tsunade to leave the village but in order for good to come, bad things must occur. Everything happens eventually guys so please bear with me. (Hugs)**

**Thank you for reading and please leave me a review to let me know what you think about this story. Feedback is always awesome, good or bad!**

**If you haven't already you can check out my other stories and you can also suggest to me ideas for a new story. The OTP doesn't even have to be JiraTsu. Let me know guys, I'll be happy to write whatever you want me to.**

**Thanks again and until next time.**

**Xoxoxo**


	8. Chapter 8

Tears were flowing freely from her honey colored eyes as she continued to walk further and further away from the village. Her steps felt somewhat constricted as if something in the village was pulling her back. She couldn't quite put a finger on it but knew that somehow it had something to do with her white haired teammate who was still standing at the main gate, watching her walk away from him. How she wanted to turn around to get one last glance of him but she wouldn't dare do such a thing to risk her tears being seen.

She tried her best to conceal her shimmering tears and glossy eyes from the little girl who she was fully responsible for. Tears were a sign of weakness in her eyes and she didn't want Shizune to feel as if an emotional train wreck was taking care of her. No, she couldn't let her down by being weak, she had to be strong. Thankfully her blonde bangs were hiding her eyes from Shizune but it was quite obvious that she was crying due to the fact that she was instantly wiping her eyes and sniffling. Shizune was no idiot so she knew that her master was feeling upset and vulnerable. She didn't care though, she just wanted her to be happy.

"Why are you crying Lady Tsunade?" Shizune asked innocently.

Tsunade wiped her eyes again before answering the girl, "I'm not crying." Tsunade lied.

"Then why are you wiping your eyes and sniffling?" Shizune questioned, already knowing the answer.

"A-Allergies." She lied again, "That's all."

Shizune knew with all her heart that her master was blatantly lying. She didn't understand why she wanted to hide her tears but didn't further question it. She had a feeling that Jiraiya was the cause of her sadness so she decided to address that issue, "You'll see Master Jiraiya again Lady Tsunade, I'm sure of it."

Tsunade said nothing more. Instead she pulled Shizune closer to her body and continued to walk away from their home. Their journey ahead wasn't going to be easy. They would encounter many obstacles that they must cross but they would do it together.

* * *

They continued to walk until Shizune couldn't keep her eyes open anymore. She was exhausted. From the moment Tsunade stepped in the house after her meeting with Sarutobi, she started to pack and asked Shizune to pack as well. They didn't take much except for a few of their clothes, personal items and non perishable food for travel. They would have to stay in inns and camp outdoors before they could settle in a new town and a new, permanent home. Whenever they get a home, they would purchase more items and perhaps some furniture. The Senju mansion was now unoccupied but Tsunade couldn't bring herself to sell the house. It held too many memories of her family. Furthermore, if anything happened to her, Shizune would always have a place to stay if she ever wanted to return to the village. Tsunade pulled her savings that accumulated from all her missions and took it with her. That would take care of them for some time but she didn't know what would happen when it finished. She couldn't fight for other villages other than her own. She had too much respect for her home to do a thing like that. What would she do for money? She dismissed the thought and decided to cross the bridge when she got there.

"Lady Tsunade, I'm really tired." Shizune said groggily with her eyes closing.

Tsunade scooped the tired child up in her arms and continued to walk until they arrived at a small inn that from the looks of it was empty. She walked into the inn and saw a tired looking lady at the front desk.

"May I help you?" The receptionist said in a very uninterested tone.

"I need a room for the night."

"One bed or two?" She asked looking at the sleeping child in Tsunade's arms.

"One is fine."

"Okay, for the night that'll be ten yen." She said, "You'll be in room five."

Tsunade reached into her pocket and handed the lady the money and took the keys from her and walked up to her room. She entered the small room and laid Shizune gently on the bed and put down their luggage. The room wasn't very fancy instead it was rather dingy. It didn't matter though, they would just be staying there for the night after all. She took off her shoes and coat and joined Shizune in the double bed. She covered herself and Shizune with a warm blanket and laid awake, staring at the ceiling, waiting for sleep to claim her, only she never fell asleep. She thought that running away from the village, from Jiraiya was a good idea, but in the back of her mind she felt as if she was doing the wrong thing. She didn't have all the answers but there was no way she could go back, not after he silently gave her permission to leave and move on with her life. Memories of their childhood and pictures of his face plagued her mind. She was on the brink of going completely insane.

It wasn't very responsible of her and she was probably going to regret it, but she had to get out of that hotel room and find a bar. She needed sweet alcohol to drown all her sorrows and make her forget about everything. She hasn't had a drink since she adopted Shizune but in that moment, she needed it. She needed it like the very air in her lungs and by all means she would get it. She got out of bed and slipped on her shoes and coat and ensured that the windows were locked tightly with the curtain over them and that the door was bolted. Shizune was sleeping safely within the confinements of the room so Tsunade slipped quietly out of the room and ventured out into the night.

She didn't walk very far until she encountered a bar. It was by no means the best bar in town but all she wanted was some cheap sake so the condition of the place meant absolutely nothing to her. She walked in to see drunken people laughing at nothing particular in the back of the bar and others on the verge of becoming drunk sitting up at the front, swinging back some hard liquor as if it didn't have a consequence. She walked up to the counter and sat at one of the stools until a bartender came to her service.

"What can I get ya?" He said with a glass and a washcloth in his hand. He was wiping the glass dry and looked at Tsunade very closely. He could tell that she had a lot on her mind.

"A round of sake and keep them coming." She said before digging her hand in a bowl of salted peanuts. She placed the salty snack in her mouth and continued to eat them until her thirst grew and her alcohol was set down before her.

"Here ya go miss." The bartender said as he placed the alcohol beside her.

"Don't call me miss." She snapped and then immediately started to drink her sake.

With each round of sake that she consumed, her reflexes slowed and her speech slurped. She was now officially drunk but not completely out of it. It was so late that the bar cleared out leaving only her and the bartender. It was quiet now, too quiet. It was so quiet that all Tsunade could think about was Jiraiya regardless of the fact that she was drunk.

"It's not working." She said quietly, on the verge of tears, "Bartender!" She shouted and this caused the man to jump in shock, "Give me more sake!"

"I'm sorry miss but you had enough."

Tsunade rose to her feet and grabbed the collar of his short to bring him close to her face, "Who the hell are you to tell me that I've had enough?! Do your damn job and get me more sake!"

She let go of him and he stumbled backwards but he still refused to give into Tsunade's drunken rage, "No miss, you're drunk. If I continue to give you more alcohol you'll just die of alcohol poisoning."

"But it's not working!" She shouted with tears now streaming down her face. She stormed out of the bar and sat on step just outside the door. The rain was falling heavily now and she was becoming soaked to the bone. Her hair and clothes were drenched and her salty tears mixed with the rain water as she sobbed. She cried and cried but she still felt no better. She was confused and just not in a good place in her life. She thought she was doing the right thing but why did she feel as if she should have just stayed in the village? Her decision to run did nothing but make her feel extremely sad and confused. She didn't know what to do or what to think so she just cried.

The bartender walked out of the bar and sat beside Tsunade on the step. He placed a kind hand on her trembling shoulder and proceeded to talk to her, "What's not working?" He asked kindly, "Why are you so sad?"

"I'm not going to sit here and tell a complete stranger like you my problems." She spat. "Why do you care anyway? You don't know me."

"You're right, I don't know you." He said, "But I know that you've been through a lot and I want to help."

"How can you possibly know what I've been through? You don't know a damn thing!"

"When you walked in the bar, in your eyes I saw all the sadness in the world. You looked as of you haven't slept for days. I see a lot of people like you come into the bar, hoping that the very taste of sake can wash all their problems away. Little do they know that it does nothing but make their problems ten times worse." He said, "I'm not trying to invade your life miss. I just want to help."

"I'm not from here." Tsunade started, "My name is Tsunade Senju andI'm a ninja from the Village Hidden in the Leaves. I came here to get away from someone."

"A boyfriend?"

"No, my..." She started but stumbled on her words, "My... My teammate."

"You're teammate? What did he or she do?"

"He did nothing." She said softly, "He did nothing but help me and all I did was treat him like shit and use him." She said, completely disgusted at herself.

"If he did nothing then why did you run away from him?"

"Because I can't live with the guilt." She said as the tears rolled down her red cheeks once again, "He offered me his comfort after my brother's death and I took him up on that offer. All he was offering was a shoulder for me to cry on and I took advantage of him and we had sex. I just wanted to feel happy in that moment but I didn't consider his feelings. He didn't object to it because he loves... Loved me. After it was done he wanted to start a relationship with me but of course I had to refuse like a bitch. Ever since then, our friendship deteriorated and I never apologized to him. I would see him around the village and feel so flustered that I couldn't even look him in the eye. I had to leave, I just had to get away from him so I did. But now... I can't get him out of my mind. I came here to this bar just to get drunk so that I could forget about him but the alcohol didn't work. I can still see his face in my mind and I remember every single detail about the one and only time we had sex. It's driving me crazy!"

"Maybe you have feelings for him, perhaps even love him."

"What?!" She said as she rose wobbly to her feet, "I don't love him!"

"Then why can't you stop thinking about him?"

"B-Because I feel guilty!"

"Then apologize."

"No! I can't do that!"

"Why not?"

"What if he rejects me?" She said, completely unaware of what she meant by that. She quickly placed her hands over her mouth as if she just said a bad word in the presence of her parents.

"See." He started, "You do have feelings for him. If you didn't you wouldn't be concerned if he rejects you or not."

"You're wrong! I don't have any feelings for him and I don't love him!"

Tsunade stormed away from the man who she just told her problems to and headed back to the motel.

She didn't love Jiraiya. There was no way that she could actually love him. That man knew nothing. He didn't know Jiraiya, and he didn't know her. How could he think that she loved him? He didn't know their history nor the type of people they are. He was an idiot because in her mind, there was no way that she could love him.

She walked in the rain for what seemed like hours, becoming more and more soaked to the bone until she was shivering like a leaf in the wind. Furthermore, she was drunk so she was stumbling with each step. Luckily she didn't fall to the hard, wet floor. She made it back to the motel and immediately sat in a dark corner of the room, sobbing her eyes out. She was so confused, so very confused. All she wanted to do was have everything return to normal but that was beyond her abilities. Her sobs caused Shizune to stir in her sleep and she eventually woke up. She sat up in bed and saw her mentor and guardian sitting the the corner, crying her eyes out like a young child afraid to be in the dark. Never in her life did she ever see Tsunade like this. It scared her a little but she couldn't just leave her like that. She wanted to reach out to her and help her. Perhaps even give her a hug. She just wanted to help her.

"Lady Tsunade?" She said timidly but received no answer from Tsunade. She got out of bed and walked over to Tsunade and placed her small hand on her shaky shoulder, "Lady Tsunade?"

Tsunade looked up at the girl with red rimmed glossy eyes and tears running down her cheeks, "Go-Go back to bed Shizune." She said with a shaky voice.

"What's wrong? Why are you crying? And you smell like alcohol. Lady Tsunade please tell me. I want to help you." Shizune sat beside Tsunade and placed her head in Tsunade's lap, "I don't want you to cry."

"I-I'm fine Shizune, just go back to bed."

"No you're not. If you were fine, you wouldn't be crying." Shizune may have been young but she wasn't stupid. She knew that something was wrong with her mentor.

Tsunade realized that Shizune wasn't going to leave her alone until she stopped crying and tell her what was wrong. She pulled herself together and wiped away her tears before she placed her hand on Shizune's head and gently stroked her hair back, "There are certain things in this world that children shouldn't know about. My issue is an adult issue. Perhaps when you're older I'll tell you all about it."

"Is it about Master Jiraiya?"

"W-Why would you think that?" Because you were crying when you saw him before we left the village. You told me that your allergies were causing you to cry but I didn't believe you. If you miss him then we can go back to the village and see him."

"It has nothing to do with Jiraiya." She lied.

"Are you sure?"

"I'm positive, now go back to bed. We have to travel again in the morning."

"Okay." Shizune did as she was told and returned to bed. Tsunade was still distraught and confused but she had to continue her journey. She was very confused about her feelings towards Jiraiya so therefore, she had to get as far away as possible from him. She had to pull herself together to take care of Shizune. She was all Shizune had now and Shizune was all Tsunade had.

* * *

They spent the next few days traveling until they arrived at a small town called Yokohama Town. It was quiet and very boring but it was far away from the Leaf Village so Tsunade decided to establish her new life there. She bought a small house with only two bedrooms, one bathroom, a small kitchen and living area. It wasn't anything compared to the Senju mansion but that was to be expected. The Senju mansion was built years and years ago by the very hands of the first Hokage so it was a work of art. Her new home could not be compared to that ever.

They unpacked what little items they had in their bags and bought some furniture, some more clothes and food items. Shizune started school and Tsunade provided for them with the money that she saved from all her missions over the years and the money she inherited from her family. It was more than enough to sustain them for a few more years but she had no idea what she would do when that money ran out. She couldn't be the ninja that she was because the people in the town where she was living were not ninjas. She wanted nothing more than to fit in because if she displayed her skills as a ninja, she would be segregated as well as Shizune. Furthermore, word would get out that there was a ninja by the name of Tsunade living in that town. If that were to happen, it would only make her easier to find and she didn't want that.

Tsunade continued her lessons with Shizune and the young girl was excelling in the art of medical ninjutsu. Furthermore, Tsunade taught her the basics of being a ninja such as, how to throw a kunai, the transformation jutsu and the shadow clone jutsu. She did well in all of that but medical ninjutsu was her forte. Besides learning how to be good, well rounded ninja, Shizune was enrolled in regular school. Nobody in Yokohoma Town was a ninja so in order to fit in, Shizune had to go to school and become book smart. Shizune didn't want to go but Tsunade insisted. Whenever Shizune was at school, it was quite boring at home for Tsunade since she was all by herself. She had no friends nor did she have anything to do. She often found her mind wandering to the days of her youth when she was constantly surrounded by the company of her friends and family. Oh how she yearned for those days but this was the life she chose so she had to deal with it.

There wasn't much to do in that town. They had one bar available to the public but it was only open at night. Tsunade couldn't go because she had to take care of Shizune when she came home from school and she couldn't waste what little money she had on alcohol. Furthermore, she couldn't allow Shizune to see her drunk again. That night when she was sobbing in a corner was a disgraceful moment in her life and she promised herself that Shizune would never see her like that again. The town has some gambling halls as well and everybody who knew Tsunade knew that gambling was her favorite hobby. However, Tsunade couldn't bring herself to foolishly spend money on a game that she will never win. She couldn't spend her money carelessly like that. Not when she had limited funds and a child to care for. When she took in Shizune, her life changed dramatically.

Everyday excepts for weekends, Shizune would go to school but she didn't have any friends. The children at school would tease her and call her horrible names just because Shizune had neither mother nor father. Furthermore, Shizune was an alien to the village and an easy target because she was skinny, shy and never defended herself due to her kind and gentle nature. It was a good thing that she was so kind but it severely disadvantaged her when it came to defending herself against the scum of the school. It broke Tsunade every time she looked through the window and saw a group of kids walking home together, laughing and enjoying each other's company and Shizune, walking behind them, holding her head down in sorrow and solitude. Tsunade couldn't stand the thought that Shizune had nobody her age to play with or even talk to. Everybody deserved to have friends and Shizune didn't even have one. She had to do something about this, perhaps buy her something that would make her feel better. She would do anything just to make Shizune happy.

One day when Shizune was at school, Tsunade ventured out into town on her search for something that Shizune would love. She walked all over town but she didn't see anything that Shizune would like. Yes she saw a few toys and clothing but she needed something more extravagant to make Shizune extremely happy. She continued her search until she stumbled across an old man standing in front of a blanket enclosed with some wood. Within the enclosure there were five piglets that looked absolutely adorable. They were small in size and light pink. She knew without a doubt that Shizune would absolutely love to have one. She could occupy her free time playing with it, taking care of it and most of all, the pig would love Shizune. Shizune had such a nice personality that anything would love her. Tsunade's couldn't force children to play with Shizune but she knew that this pig would love her.

"Old man, are those pigs for sale?" Tsunade said while eyeing the squirming animals."

"You bet."

"How much?" Tsunade said while retrieving her purse out of her pocket and searching around for money.

"Eleven yen Miss."

Eleven yen was quite expensive for such a small and common animal but she wouldn't leave without it so she sacrificed the money, "I'll take one." She handed the money to old man and he gladly accepted it.

"Okay Miss, you can have anyone you like. Just pick one."

Tsunade looked carefully at the small piglets laying on the blanket. They were no more than a few months old and all of them were really cute but there was one pig, laying away from the rest of them on the furthest end of the blanket. It was the smallest of them all and it seemed like it had a great personality. That was the pig that she was going to get.

"I'll take that one." She said while pointing at the pig of her choice.

"That one?" The man said in confusion, "That pig is the runt of the litter. You can get another one you know for the same price."

"I don't care if it's the runt of the litter. I want that one." Tsunade said. She didn't care that it wasn't the prize pig. She felt a connection to it an knew that Shizune would love it.

"Okay, suit yourself." The man shrugged and reached in the enclosure to retrieve the pig of Tsunade's choice. He swaddled the small animal in a blanket and handed it over to Tsunade, "Here ya go."

Tsunade held the pig and smiled down at it. It was so cute and she immediately wanted to give it a name, "What is it? A boy or a girl?"

The man took the pig from Tsunade once again and examined it, "This is a girl."

"Okay, thanks." Tsunade said before she took the pig back from the man and walked home with her new pet.

Before she went home, she stopped at the pet shop and bought a bag of pig food along with a pet bed and some pig clothes that consisted of a small red coat and a string of pearls. She didn't want the pig to be walking around in the nude regardless of the fact that she was an animal. Plus, she looked even more adorable with clothes on.

Tsunade got home and immediately set up for her new pet. She placed her bed on the ground next to the sofa and dressed the pig in her newly bought clothes. When she finished that, she let the pig go in the house and filled a small bowl with pig food and another with clean water. Afterwards, she sat on the ground and played with the pig.

"What am I going to name you?" Tsunade said to the pig, "You're a girl so I should name you something cute, something that Shizune would love."

Tsunade thought for a moment before coming up with a name that seemed perfect for the small animal, "I think I'll name you TonTon."

When TonTon heard her new name for the first time she squealed happily, indicating that she liked her name.

"It's settled then, you're TonTon." Tsunade smiled, "Just wait until Shizune comes home, she's going to love you so much and you're going to love her as well. She's a sweet little girl TonTon, she's kind and caring and she'll take good care of you."

Before Shizune came home from school, Tsunade cleaned the house and prepared a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for her to eat upon her arrival. TonTon on the other hand, explored her new surroundings, leaving no part of her new home untouched. A few hours later, Shizune came home and dropped her school bag in its regular spot, just beside the front door.

"Lady Tsunade I'm home!" Shizune said and was immediately greeted by TonTon. The small pig came running towards her and at first she was at first she was startled because she was unfamiliar with the big but then her shock turned into confusion, "Lady Tsunade, there's a strange pig in the house!" She shouted as she ran towards Tsunade and pointed to the pig, "How did that pig get in here?"

"Shizune calm down, I bought that pig for you."

"For me?"

"You do like her don't you? Please tell me that you're not afraid of her."

Shizune shook her head, "No, I'm not scared of her, I was just confused. She's really mine?"

"Yup, go play with her."

Shizune crouched down beside the pig and placed her hand on it's pink head, "Hi, I'm Shizune."

The pig squealed happily as Shizune continued to stroke her head.

"Her name is TonTon." Tsunade informed Shizune.

"TonTon." Shizune repeated, "I like it."

From that day forward, Shizune cared for that pig and loved her unconditionally. TonTon was her pet and lifelong companion. She shared all her secrets with her and played with her every day. Tsunade made a great decision to buy that pig for now Shizune wasn't sad or lonely. She was happy and that was all that mattered.

They continued to live in that town and for the most part, they were comfortable. But how long could that comfort last? How much longer will it be until their money ran out and when it does, what would they do?

* * *

**There was no Jiraiya in this chapter but I hope you guys enjoyed it regardless. **

**Perhaps Jiraiya will show up in the next chapter. You'll never know unless you keep your eyes open for that chapter.**

**Thanks for reading!**

**Xoxoxoxoxoxo**


	9. Chapter 9

Four long years came and went and still Jiraiya hasn't seen nor heard from his old teammate. His heart ached and ached for those four years for he wanted nothing more than to see her once again. It took him some time but he forgave her for all the wrong she has done to him. What happened between them was long in the past and he didn't see the sense of dwelling on such an event. He was willing and ready to move on with his life and fall out of love with Tsunade and for your years, he was successful. However, his mind never left her. It was constantly on her, wondering if she was okay and if she found true love and happiness. He wasn't sure and he would never be certain since she was long gone and in his opinion, never coming back.

Life for Jiraiya has changed dramatically over the past years. He devoted his time and efforts into training Minato and the now fourteen year old boy was excelling in everything that he did. He was a genius that came along every once in a lifetime and Jiraiya was proud to call himself his teacher. Minato wasn't just his mere student, but he was his closest friend. The boy has always been mature but now that he was a young man, Jiraiya felt comfortable sharing everything with him. Now Minato knew everything about Jiraiya's situation with Tsunade and played a major role in helping him to get over it and learn how to forgive. Jiraiya even helped Minato with whatever problems he was having in his life. For example, Minato had a crush on his classmate, the feisty, red haired beauty, Kushina Uzumaki for quite some time but due to her strong personality, he was too shy to approach her.

"Just try to talk to her one day." Jiraiya told him.

Minato agreed to do just as Jiraiya told him but he never had the guts to talk to her. One night however, Minato was walking home when he noticed long strands of red hair lying on the ground. He immediately noticed the hair to be Kushina's since she was the only girl in the village with such long, red hair. This could only mean that she was in trouble, so he followed the strands of hair until they lead him to her. She was being kidnapped by Kumogakure ninjas because she possessed a special kind of chakra as well as the nine tailed fox demon. He defeated her kidnappers in one swift movement and rescue her. This broke the ice between them and ever since then, they became close friends and lovers.

"Saved the damsel in distress." Jiraiya said, "That's a great way to sweep the girl off her feet! I'm so proud." Jiraiya smiled and rubbed his hand in Minato's spiky yellow hair.

Jiraiya was also the third Hokage's most trusted shinobi. Whenever the Hokage needed assistance, he would call on Jiraiya and when he needed a second opinion, Jiraiya was the one he depended on. Orochimaru was still in the village but ever since the day they returned from war, nobody has seen him. Nobody knew what he was up to but rumors circulated around the village that he was using human beings as test dummies for his random experiments. They were just rumors though so the third Hokage didn't believe a word of it. He refused to believe that Orochimaru would do such a thing but whatever it was he was doing, he couldn't be up to any good.

Jiraiya's friendship with Orochimaru quickly deteriorated just like his relationship with Tsunade. However, he still considered Orochimaru as a friend and would do anything for him. It seemed as if his childhood friends were miles and miles away from him and while that was true in his case with Tsunade, it wasn't so with Orochimaru. They lived in the same village and yet, they never saw each other. He wanted so desperately to change that but never dared to visit Orochimaru's home. He knew how much he hated uninvited visitors and refused to get on his bad side. He just wanted a friend to talk to. At least he had Minato but he often found himself yearning for the company of others his age.

"Jiraiya sensei!" Minato said while running towards his mentor, "Jiraiya sensei!"

The adolescent's screams got his attention so he turned to face the blonde boy, "What is it Minato?" Jiraiya asked, confused as to why he was shouting his name in that manner.

"I have a message for you from the Third Hokage." Minato said and handed the sealed envelope to Jiraiya.

The Sannin opened the envelope quickly and read the letter inside. When he finished reading it, he felt his heart tighten in his chest. No, this could not be happening. Was the Third Hokage absolutely certain?

"I-I have to go Minato."

"Why? What's wrong sensei?" Minato asked with a look of concern on his face. Something was definitely wrong but he didn't know what.

"I'll tell you later but for now I have to see the Hokage."

* * *

"Are you certain Sarutobi sensei?!" Jiraiya shouted as he burst through the doors of the Hokage's office.

"I'm one hundred percent certain Jiraiya, now-"

"No!" He shouted, cutting off his mentor, "You must have the wrong guy, there's no way that Orochimaru would-"

"I saw him with my own two eyes boy!" Sarutobi shouted, still lost for words at what he just witnessed, "I saw Orochimaru in the vault, stealing forbidden jutsu. He even confessed that he used human beings as test subjects for his experiments. Every person that he used died. All the rumors were true."

"But Orochimaru couldn't possibly... He's one of us. Maybe- Maybe somebody forced him to do all of that."

"He was by no means forced Jiraiya, he did what he did because he wanted to... And so foolishly allowed him to escape..."

"Why would you do a thing like that?"

"Because he was my student..." Sarutobi admitted. He felt a strong connection to Orochimaru since he taught him for years but now, Orochimaru was going down a path of destruction and he couldn't fully come to terms with it, "Orochimaru is no longer my student and he is no longer your comrade. The faster we learn to accept that, the better it will be for us." He said with a heavy heart. It wasn't easy for him to see his student turn to such evil and darkness but as the Hokage, he knew he had to make a decision that he never thought he would be forced to make, "I couldn't stop him but... Maybe you could."

"Sensei, please don't ask me to-"

"Orochimaru is a criminal now. Hunt him down and bring him to justice."

How could Jiraiya possibly fight his friend? They grew up together and faced grave situations side by side. The fondest memories of his childhood always included Orochimaru and now he was being asked to hunt him down and throw him in jail. This wasn't an easy thing for him to do but he couldn't simply go against the Hokage's orders so with a heavy heart, he made the decision to follow his instructions, "Where is he?"

"He shouldn't be too far away from the village."

Jiraiya nodded his head and started to walk away to fulfill his unfortunate duty but was stopped when Sarutobi spoke up, "This isn't easy for me either Jiraiya. I'm loosing all of my students. First Tsunade and now Orochimaru. You're the only one I have left so if you two get into a serious fight, don't die."

Sarutobi held a special place in his heart for all his students and nothing pained him more than to lose them. No matter what, he would always remember them as young, innocent children.

"I won't." Jiraiya said and walked out of the office, not knowing what to expect but still had hope that he could talk some sense into Orochimaru so that everything would be back to normal.

* * *

The four years since Tsunade has left the village have not been kind to her. At first, everything was fine because she had money but it wasn't too long until that money ran out. Now she was broke and still had a child and a pig to care for. Being poor definitely wasn't easy and she often found herself not being able to meet the financial demands of everyday life. It was pitiful. She went from riches to rags in only a few short years. Maybe leaving the village was a mistake after all but she still wasn't willing to admit that to herself or to Shizune.

She was a waitress in a grungy men's bar. She worked the night shifts not by choice but because that was the only shift she could get. The day shifts were all taken by women in a similar position as she. The uniform she had to wear was disgraceful and left little to the imagination of the men she had to serve. The top she wore was tight fitting, had a low neck line and revealed her stomach while the skirt was short and revealed her long legs. She hated that uniform with all her heart because it brought her nothing but unwanted attention from perverted men. But what could she do? That was the only job she could get to fit in with the people of the town and that uniform came with the job. She just had to suck it up and get to work.

"Table nine is in need of a waitress Tsunade." Her boss told her, pointing at the occupied table. He was a fairly young man, but older than Tsunade. It was obvious that he didn't care about the well being of his employees, he only wanted money.

"Okay." Tsunade said while walking over to table nine. There sat a middle aged man, smoking a cigarette. He looked like a typical bum, the scum of the street. Those type of people were all Tsunade would see walk into the bar, "What would you like to have today?" Tsunade asked in the most pleasant voice she could speak in regardless of her constant foul mood.

"I'll have a hot piece of you on a plate." He said disrespectfully.

"Excuse me?" Tsunade said through clenched teeth, trying to suppress her anger and her urge to kill the man. She reminded herself that she could not display her monstrous strength, especially not at work.

"I mean, I'll just have a coffee."

"Would you like cream and sugar with that?"

"No but I would love you with it. Scratch that, just forget about the coffee and us two can go back to my apartment and we'll have some fun." He said while looking her up and down, his eyes lingering on her breasts.

"I'll be right back with your coffee sir." She said, still fighting back her anger at the blatantly horny man. Oh how she hated working there, serving scum like him every night. But she couldn't quit, she just couldn't. What would become of Shizune if she did? What would become of her? They would be sitting out in the streets, begging for food and money, depending on the generosity of others for the rest of their lives. No, she couldn't allow Shizune to live on the streets once again. It was dangerous, absolutely dangerous, especially for a child her age. Of course Tsunade could easily protect her from criminals and rapists but she didn't want to expose Shizune to such a traumatic thing. She had to provide for her so if it meant putting up with that perverted asshole, she would suck it up and bear it.

Tsunade's boss noticed the look of anger and frustration plastered on Tsunade's face. He couldn't have his waitresses looking so unpleasant so he told her plaster a smile on her face and be pleasant, "What's wrong now Tsunade? Would it kill ya to smile?"

"You wouldn't be smiling if some asshole was harassing you." Tsunade grumbled while filling the coffee pot with steaming hot black coffee.

"You work in a men's bar. Scum come in here all the time and you're not so bad to look at. In fact, you're a fine piece so ass. Expect to be hit on." He said with zero sympathy.

"Whatever." She mumbled and carried the pot of coffee to the pervert, "Here you go." She said as she poured the dark liquid into a coffee cup, "Enjoy." She turned her back to him and was about to walk away when she felt him grope her from behind. She reacted to that rude gesture without a thought and punched him in the face so hard that she broke his nose. If she was using her full strength, he would have been sent flying against the wall. He was lucky.

"You broke my nose you bitch!" He shouted as he rose to his feet with the intent of punching Tsunade back. However, she didn't hesitate to throw the pot of coffee on him. The hot liquid burned him severely and left him in excruciating pain.

"AHHHHHH!" He screamed, "That fucking bitch threw hot coffee on me!"

Tsunade's boss came immediately when he heard the man's screams and the gasps of everybody else in the bar, "Tsunade what the hell is wrong with you?!"

"That asshole groped me!" She shouted, "I may be your employee but I have rights and that was sexual harassment!"

"You don't have any rights anymore!"

"What do you mean?"

"You are fired, that's what I mean!"

"Fired?" She repeated.

"Yes bitch you're fired, are you deaf? Now get your ass out of my bar!"

"Well now that I'm fired I can finally do something that I've always wanted to do." She said before she punched her boss so hard in the face that she broke his nose as well but she didn't stop there, she punched him again in the eye, leaving it black and blue and swollen. She picked up her coat and walked out of the bar with her pride still intact.

Only when she was out of the establishment did she realize that she was now unemployed. She was supposed to get paid the following day but that was definitely not going to happen after she beat up her boss and she barely had enough money to last her the week. What was she going to do now? No other place would hire her because word about what happened today would get around fast in such a small, unforgiving town. She allowed her anger to get the better of her and now she was without a job. How was she supposed to pay the bills or buy food? She had no answers now and nobody to turn to. She messed up big but this time, there was no way to correct her mistake.

She slowly walked home, not wanting to face Shizune after she so foolishly got fired from her job. It was her responsibility to put food on the table and a roof over their heads and now she couldn't even do that. She hated herself even more than before and wished that her life wasn't so messed up. She was certain that Shizune would hate her too and regret ever agreeing to live with her so many years ago. Shizune was now ten years old. She has gotten taller but never lost the cute look that she had when she was just six years old. She was even more intelligent than before and was striving in medical ninjutsu. TonTon also got bigger in size but within, she was still a playful piglet. They knew that the little pig would never grow out of her baby phase. Yes, Tsunade had a sweet little family unit but now, she doomed them all. How could she simply walk in and tell them that she lost her job?

She waked through the front door and immediately, Shizune came running to the door, "Lady Tsunade, your shift isn't over yet. What are you doing home so early?"

She sighed deeply, realizing that she couldn't lie to her, "Have a seat Shizune." Tsunade followed the girl to the small sofa and took hold of her hand, "I was fired tonight."

"Fired?!" Shizune said in shock, "How did you get fired?"

Tsunade couldn't possibly tell her that she got fired because she punched a guy in his face and spilled hot coffee all over him and then punched her boss twice in the face as well. That would make her sound like a monster. Of course she could have just explained that she did what she did because some guy groped her, but Shizune was so young and innocent that she didn't even know what groping meant and Tsunade wanted to keep it that way. She didn't want her sweet little Shizune to grow up too fast.

"It doesn't matter anymore. I'm out of a job now and that's that." Tsunade said, feeling like a failure.

"How are we supposed to buy food and pay the bills now?" Shizune asked softly, sensing her master's stress.

"I don't know." Tsunade said while tearing up, "I don't have the answers Shizune. I don't know what to do anymore." Tears were now falling from her honey colored eyes and dropped in her lap, "I've failed you and I'm so, so sorry."

Shizune didn't say anything, she just simply wrapped her arms around Tsunade's body, "You haven't failed me." She said, "If it wasn't for you, I would have been dead by now." Shizune pulled away from their embrace and wiped a falling tear from Tsunade's face, "We'll figure something out Lady Tsunade. We always do. Whatever happens from here on out, I'll always be beside you. Me, you and TonTon, we're a team."

What did Tsunade do to deserve such a wonderful child? Shizune didn't even cry nor did she get upset at Tsunade. No, instead she comforted her and told her that everything would be fine, that they were a team. Shizune was truly an angel sent directly from Heaven and Tsunade's saving grace.

"I'll figure something out in the morning but for now, let's go to bed." Tsunade rose to her feet and Shizune did the same. They walked into their separate bedrooms and went to sleep, neither knowing what the future would hold for them but hoping that it was something good.

* * *

From the moment Jiraiya walked out of the village, he hasn't stopped running. His heart was pounding rapidly in his chest and he was filled with anxiety and sorrow. For the life of him he couldn't understand why his comrade would do something so illegal. Stealing forbidden Justu was against the law and one of the most serious offenses one could commit. What was he planning on doing with forbidden Justu anyway? He wasn't sure but whatever it was that Orochimaru was planning to do, Jiraiya would stop him.

He ran and ran for what seemed like forever at his highest speed until a man with long black hair came into view. This man was no other than Orochimaru.

"Orochimaru!" Jiraiya called out, "Stop!"

Orochimaru stopped running and turned around to face his old friend. Without saying a word, he threw a kunai straight at him but instead of piercing into Jiraiya, it landed at his feet. When Jiraiya got a closure look at the weapon, he realized that it wasn't any ordinary kunai, it was one with a highly explosive paper bomb attached to it. Jiraiya immediately jumped away from it and stayed perched like a bird in a tree until it exploded. When it was safe to return to ground level, he did.

"Why are you doing this?!" He shouted, "You're a Sannin just like me. Your loyalty is to the village and yet you stole forbidden Justu and killed innocent people for the sake of your sick experiments! What happened to make you like this?!"

All Orochimaru could do was laugh. This further angered Jiraiya.

"What's so funny?!"

"Oh Jiraiya, you're such a fool." He said, "My loyalty is to the village? Ha! My only loyalty is to my goal of destroying the village."

"What?! Destroy the village?" Jiraiya said, not sure if he heard correctly, "Have you gone mad?! Why would you want to destroy the village, that's your home!"

"I'm going to destroy that sorry excuse for a village because I want to. I'm going to learn all the jutsu the world has to offer and then I'll be invincible."

"There's no way that you can learn all the jutsu in the world. Be realistic! You'll die before you master it all!"

"That's why I know the jutsu to make me immortal. I can't be defeated, I've surpassed you."

"Don't you remember when we were kids?" Jiraiya asked, hoping that Orochimaru would remember and reconsider his evil plan, "You and Tsunade always outdid me in everything. You guys were so smart and I was the underdog. Even though, all three of us and sensei, we had so much fun. You were like the brother I never had. You were my best friend and now look at us. You're plotting against the village and I'm trying to stop you. This isn't how it should be, we should try to rekindle our friendship and go back to those days. Please just reconsider. Let's be friends again, like old times. Orochimaru, you don't want to destroy our home and everybody in it. I know you don't."

"You make me laugh Jiraiya. How could you think that I would want to be friends with the likes of you? When we were children I was civil to you and that whore Tsunade and the old man because I had to become stronger in order to get to the level I'm at now. You old fool. You don't know me at all!"

Orochimaru came at Jiraiya so fast that he didn't have any time to react. Before Jiraiya knew it, he was pierced in the stomach by Orochimaru's snake blade. Pain ripped through his body and only when Orochimaru pulled away from him did he fall to his feet. He grabbed hold of his wound and immediately, red, sticky blood came pouring out of it.

"Look at you, bleeding to death. How very pitiful. And you call yourself a Sannin? You don't deserve to have the same title as me." Orochimaru smirked in disgust, "I will destroy the Leaf Village." He turned around and started to walk off but said one last thing before he was out of sight, "And by the way..." He started, "That blade that I pierced you with was dipped in poison. You'll be dead in a few days. Nice knowing you... Old friend." Orochimaru laughed and was soon out of Jiraiya's vision.

His eyes flickered open and closed until he didn't have the strength to stay conscious. A stray tear fell out of his weary eyes at the fact that he was unable to stop his friend. At this point, he didn't care that he was going to die. He lost both of his closest friends and now had no purpose to live. He closed his eyes and was soon engulfed in darkness. He welcomed death and passed out, not certain if his eyes would ever open again.

* * *

Tsunade rose from her slumber that morning feeling exhausted. She didn't sleep at all that night for something just didn't feel right to her. Of course she had the stress of being out of a job loomed over her shoulders but something else felt wrong and unsettling. It was probably nothing but for some reason, she couldn't help but feel that something was terribly wrong. She walked out of her bedroom and went into her bathroom to ready herself for the long day she had ahead of her. She made the decision to go out in town and find another job. Hopefully everything would work out and she would be hired. At this point, she was willing to do anything it took to get some money so she wasn't picky about the nature of the job that she would receive. A job is a job and a job puts food on the table.

After freshening up in the bathroom, Tsunade went into the kitchen to prepare some breakfast for herself and Shizune. Before she opened the cupboards which she was sure were bare, she retrieved the almost empty bag of pig food and filled up TonTon's bowl with the dry food. She made a mental note to buy another bag and then opened the cupboards. They were fresh out of pancake mix and cereal so she opened the fridge and thankfully, she found some eggs. She fried them up and placed one on two different plates and put a slice of brown bread beside it. She then poured two glasses of orange juice and then called Shizune for breakfast.

Shizune came walking down the stairs with her stuffed bear in hand and sat down to eat breakfast with Tsunade. They ate in silence and then after their meal was done, Tsunade washed up the dishes.

"What are you going to do today while I'm at school Lady Tsunade?"

"I'm going to look for another job. It's going to be difficult but we need the money so it has to be done."

"Why don't we just return to the village?" Shizune suggested, "We still have our house there and you can go back to being a ninja again. It's the most logical solution to our problem."

"We can't." Tsunade simply said.

"But why not? You never told me why we can't go back. You said that you'll tell me when I'm older, well I'm older now and I want to know why we can't go back to our home."

Shizune was indeed older. She was no longer the little girl she once was. She was ten years old and almost a teenager. Surely she had a right to know why Tsunade left the village.

Tsunade put down the plate she was drying and sat down beside Shizune, "Okay, I'll tell you." She took a deep breath before continuing, "Remember Jiraiya?"

Shizune nodded her head and Tsunade continued, "When my brother died, he was there to comfort me. At first I didn't want his help but then I gave in and allowed him to comfort me. On the day of my brother's funeral, I was so sad and emotional but Jiraiya was there for me and he offered me his comfort once again but I took advantage of the situation and we ummm... We made love."

"What do you mean by made love?"

Shizune was so innocent that she didn't know what that meant. As much as Tsunade hated it, she had to tell her about that for Shizune to fully understand the story.

"You see, making love is a special time that a man and a woman who really like each other spend with each other. It involves getting naked and ummm... Enjoying each other's body. There's kissing and... Touching. You see Shizune, making love is necessary in this world because it's not only a great way for people who love each other to show each other that they love them but babies are made that way. When you're older I'll go into more detail with you but for now, let's leave it at that."

"If you and Master Jiraiya made love then that means that you two were in love right?"

"Not exactly."

"But you said that people only do that when they're in love."

"That's true but in my case, it's a little different. You see, I just wanted to do it because I wanted to feel happy in such a sad time in my life. I wasn't willing to take our relationship further and love him but he was. I hurt him by doing that and damaged our friendship to the point of no repair and I couldn't live with that and the guilt I felt so I left the village and left him behind."

"Then why were you crying when you saw him on the night we left?"

"Huh?"

"If you didn't love him then why were you so sad when you left him?"

Shizune had a point. Why was she crying? Could it be that she loved him all along and didn't realize it?

"Look Shizune, I told you the story so now you know why we can't go back there."

"I don't think that's a very good reason Lady Tsunade. You could just say sorry you know."

"If only it were that simple." Tsunade said softly and then handed Shiuzne her school bag, "Go on now, you wouldn't want to be late for school."

"Okay. Good luck with finding a job."

Tsunade waited for Shizune to be at school before she threw on her jacket and went out into town to find a job. Most of the places she went to, turned her down because they heard of the incident that happened where she used to work. They didn't even interview her or ask her why she did what she did. They just passed judgement on her based on what they heard. She was about to give up until she saw a help wanted sign hung up on the door of a small bakery. She took this as a sign sent from Heaven and walked into the bakery with a pleasant smile on her face. She was immediately greeted by a kind looking, fairly old lady who was quite plump and had rosy cheeks.

"May I help you?" She asked kindly.

"I saw your sign on the door and I was hoping that I could get a job here."

"What's your name and do you have any experience with being a waitress?"

"My name is Tsunade and I actually have experience as a waitress. I was a waitress at the men's bar down the road for three years."

"Oh you're the waitress who punched and poured coffee on a customer and then you punched the owner."

"Will that affect my chances of getting a job here?" She asked sadly, "If so, I completely understand."

"No way!" The old lady said, "I'm glad you did what you did. That pervert deserved it and your boss was no better. He should have stood up for you but he didn't so he deserved what you got."

"Really?" She asked, not believing that she was actually hearing this.

"Yes. I'll be happy to hire you and don't worry, all you have to wear is an apron over your clothes. That skimpy outfit you were forced to wear was rather distasteful and I'm sure that you hated wearing it."

"I really did." Tsunade said and was moved to tears by the lady's kindness.

"Oh dearie, don't cry." She wrapped her old arms around Tsunade and embraced her.

"Thank you so much. You have no idea what this means to me."

"No problem. You can start anytime you want, just let me know."

"I will. Thank you again."

Tsunade walked out of the bakery, feeling as if she was walking on clouds. She was so happy that she could hardly contain her happiness. That lady was kind enough to offer her a job when everybody else denied her. Her life was starting to look up. She looked at her watch and realized that it was time for Shizune to come home from school so she hurried home.

"Shizune! Shizune!" Tsunade said happily as she walked into her house.

"What is it Lady Tsunade?" Shizune asked, anxious to hear what Tsunade had to tell her.

"I got a job as a waitress at the bakery!"

"That's great Lady Tsunade!" Shizune said and hugged her mentor but then remembered that she had a message for her, "I almost forgot." She said and dug into her pocket for the sealed envelope, "I found this in the mailbox when I got home." She handed Tsunade the envelope.

The envelope was addressed to Tsunade and was sealed with the stamp of the Leaf Village. Tsunade didn't hesitate before she opened it and read the letter within.

"Oh my God." She gasped when she finished reading the letter.

"What is it?"

"We have to go." Tsunade said and rushed into her room to pack her things.

"Lady Tsunade, where do we have to go?" Shizune asked feeling confused, "What's wrong?"

"It's Jiraiya." She said, "We have to go to the Leaf Village."

* * *

**Tsunade's returning to the village guys! What will happen?**

**Thanks for reading and reviewing as usual.**

**Look out for the next chapter.**

**Until next time.**

**Xoxoxoxoxoxo**


	10. Chapter 10

She didn't hesitate for a second before she packed her bags and headed out the house. Her destination, the Leaf Village. She was planning on never returning to her home village but when she got that letter from Sarutobi, she couldn't help but be obligated to go back. Jiraiya was on death's door and desperately needed her help. Despite what they have been through, she couldn't let him die. How could she ever live with herself if he died when she could have helped him? Indeed it has been four years since she has seen him and she wasn't quite sure how she would feel once she laid eyes on him again but all of that didn't matter. The only thing that did matter was the difference she stood between his life continuing or his demise.

"Why are we going back there Lady Tsunade?" Shizune asked, still left in the dark as to why they were going back to the village, "I thought you swore that you would never go back."

"I did Shizune but Jiraiya needs my help." Tsunade explained, "Sarutobi sensei sent me a letter explaining that Orochimaru did something bad and Jiraiya was trying to stop him. I'm not sure what that snake bastard did that was so wrong but he hurt Jiraiya and now he's on the verge of death."

"That's terrible Lady Tsunade! You have to help him." Shizune said. She always liked Jiraiya so it hurt her deeply to know that he was in such a grave situation. Shizune also knew that if he died, Tsunade would be distraught, even if she didn't want to admit it.

"That's why we have to get to the village as soon as possible."

"But Lady Tsunade, it takes three days for us to get to the Leaf Village from here."

"We won't be stopping to rest Shizune so it will only take a day and a half."

Tsunade and Shizune travelled at the highest speed to the Leaf Village. Like Tsunade said earlier, they didn't stop to rest or even to eat, they just kept moving. It was probably unwise to travel such a far distance without rest but Tsunade wanted to get to the village right away. She needed to help Jiraiya and she swore to herself that she wouldn't allow him to die. Not now, not ever. Yes they have been through hell and back in terms of their relationship but deep down inside heart, she cared for him so much that if he were to die, a piece of her would die along with him.

Despite Shizune's young age, she was keeping up with Tsunade as they ran through the forest and jumped from tree branch to tree branch. It was tiresome for her despite how well she was doing and soon she found herself unable to continue the journey without rest.

"Lady Tsunade, I can't go on. I'm too tired." She said wearily.

Tsunade couldn't stop, she wouldn't stop. Jiraiya's life depended on her coming to his aid. He could die at any moment. She was going to ignore Shizune's pleas to stop but when she saw the girl fall to her knees from exhaustion, she knew she had to pause their journey.

"Shizune are you okay?" Tsunade asked as she ran to Shizune's side and helped her to her feet.

"I'm just really tired." She said softly.

"We'll rest for a few hours then. After that do you think you'll be okay to travel again?"

"Yes, I just need to sleep."

Tsunade dug into her bag and emerged with a large blanket. She wrapped it around the ten year old and laid her tired head in her lap. As she slept, Tsunade continuously smoothed her hair back to soothe her to sleep. Shizune looked so calm and peaceful while Tsunade was anything but that. She was scared for Jiraiya's life and anxious to know if he was okay. She had no way of knowing if he were dead or alive until she actually arrived in the village. What if he was dead on her arrival? She would be absolutely devastated. But what if he was alive? She would heal him to the best of her abilities and ensure that he survives. She couldn't help but wonder though, if he would be happy to see her or angry. She figured that more than likely he would hate her with every ounce of his being for abandoning the village. She wouldn't blame him if he did. She would hate herself too if she was in his position. All her dead relatives must be frowning down upon her because as the last Senju, she should remain in the village and protect it with all her power but instead, she abandoned it because she couldn't live with her guilt for using and hurting her friend. Suddenly, her heart began to beat wildly as she thought about the reaction of the villagers to her arrival. This was the reason why she swore to herself that she would never return to the village. She didn't want to have to face the scrutiny and disapproval of the villagers but she had to go back, for she couldn't give up on Jiraiya.

A few hours later, Shizune woke up from her slumber feeling refreshed and ready to continue their journey to their homeland. They continued on, non stop and when Shizune grew tired again, Tsunade hoisted the girl up on her back and carried her as she made her way over to the village. It took them more than a day and a half due to the fact that they had to stop for Shizune to rest, but they made it to the village in one peace. The moment they stepped through the gates and landed on Leaf Village soil, they were stared upon in a more than obvious manner from everybody in the village. Usually when foreigners came to visit the village they would be stared at but the villagers weren't looking at them as aliens, they were looking at them with familiarity mixed with disappointment. Tsunade knew that it was because she abandoned the village four years ago but she chose to ignore the blatant stares and continued to walk to the Hokage Mansion.

When she finally arrived at the all too familiar red building, she was met by ANBU black ops who escorted her to the Hokage's office and led Shizune to the waiting room where she would be left in the care of Biwako Sarutobi. Tsunade soon found herself in her sensei's office and as soon as she walked through the door, she was embraced by the aged man. She didn't understand why he was hugging her when she expected him to be upset with her for leaving the village but she couldn't do anything other than hug him back. She had to admit that it felt good to be in the company of her old sensei once again. The man basically taught her everything she knows and practically raised her when her relatives died.

"I'm so happy to see you Tsunade." Sarutobi said as he caressed her smooth cheek, "You've grown to be even more beautiful."

"Thanks sensei." She said and hugged him once again, "It's good to see you too." She smiled as she broke away from their hug. Her smile soon faded however, when she remembered Jiraiya, "How's Jiraiya? Where is he?"

"He's not doing so well. He's in the hospital now, come, I'll take you there." He said and walked out of his office with Tsunade by his side.

"What exactly did Orochimaru do?" Tsunade asked.

"I'll tell you all about that once you've finished healing Jiraiya. It's quite the terrible story and I wish for you to be fully concentrated on healing Jiraiya. Trust me, it can wait."

"Now I'm even more anxious to hear what he did and why but I'll wait."

Tsunade followed the old man until they were at the hospital and now in front of Jiraiya's room door. She took a deep breath and entered the room and nearly collapsed on the floor at the sight that she saw. Jiraiya barely looked like himself. He was pale and black and blue spots were all over his body. He was a mess and Tsunade could only wonder what their former teammate did to him.

"What did Orochimaru do to him?" Tsunade gasped, never taking her eyes off of the stitched up wound on his stomach that looked as if it were infected and extremely painful.

"Orochimaru stabbed him in the stomach with a blade that was dipped in a poison that we are unfamiliar with." A nurse who was tending to Jiraiya explained, "We managed to close up the wound but we are unable to come up with a solution that will counter the poison and rid his body of it. If we don't come up with something soon, Master Jiraiya will die."

"How could Orochimaru do something like that to him. They were childhood friends, almost like brothers." Tsunade said. She couldn't believe that Orochimaru could be so cruel towards Jiraiya.

"I was wondering the same thing Tsunade but please, help Jiraiya. He doesn't have much time left." Sarutobi pleaded. He didn't want to lose his student.

"Okay." Tsunade said and walked over to Jiraiya's side. Immediately, she analyzed his situation and the first thing she did was extract the infection from his stitched up wound. She placed her hand over it and directed her chakra to her palm. Almost in an instant, the puss started to rise out of the wound until it completely disappeared. The wound was no longer infected and looked much better than it did before. The redness and swelling were now gone. The easy part was over, now it was time for her to extract the poison out of his body.

She had to dig deep in her mind for all the information she had stored up on poisons and how to counter them. The poison that Orochimaru used on Jiraiya was quite unfamiliar to her for it caused him to go into unconsciousness, resulted in him becoming extremely pale and caused black and blue spots to emerge all over his body. Normal poisons would kill their victims right away but this one was slowly killing him. She stood there never taking her eyes off of her patient until she remembered the exact day that she researched this particular poison. It was in the beginning stages of her medical training a few years ago and she took it upon herself to learn about the different poisons of the world. One particular poison struck her the most for it was completely different from the rest of the poisons. It came from a rare multi colored, black and bright blue snake. The poison slowly killed it's victims by plunging them into unconsciousness as the toxic substance worked at shutting down each and every organ of the body. Black and blue spots would appear on the flesh as the poison terrorizes the body. This was the poison that Orochimaru used on Jiraiya. She should have known it right off the bat since it came from a snake and Orochimaru's specialties were snakes. She knew exactly how to heal Jiraiya now but she had to do it quickly for he didn't have much time left before the poison made its way to his heart.

"I know what poison he used." Tsunade said and turned to the nurse, "Get me a basin of water with solution x mixed in it and another empty basin right away!" She instructed and the nurse quickly left the room to get the items that Tsunade requested.

"What poison did he use?" Sarutobi asked.

"A poison that comes from a rare snake."

"I should have known it would have come from a snake." He mumbled, "That Orochimaru!" He said through clenched teeth.

The nurse came back at once with the items that Tsunade demanded in her hands. She laid them on a table and brought the table close to Tsunade. Without hesitation, Tsunade held her two hands, palms facing downwards, over the water with the solution x. The water stirred in a basin and in an instant, some of the water rose up from the rest and turned into a bubble within Tsunade's hands. She carried the bubble over to Jiraiya and miraculously put it into his chest. The bubble was taken out but this time, inside of it was a sickly green substance that could only have been the deadly poison. She dumped the bubble with the poison in the empty basin and repeated the method for extracting the poison over and over again until each and every black and blue spot disappeared from his body. His paleness went away and then all the poison was taken out of his body. His life was no longer hanging by a thin rope for Tsunade saved his life.

"He should be okay now. He just needs rest." Tsunade said, "Sarutobi sensei, I believe you have something that you would like to tell me."

"Yes, of course." He said and walked out of the hospital room.

The two of them, teacher and student stood in the hallway of the hospital and Sarutobi began to tell Tsunade everything.

"I got word from one of my guards that somebody broke into the vault where all the scrolls containing forbidden jutsu are kept. Of course I immediately went down there but I didn't expect to see my own student, Orochimaru tampering with all the scrolls. He told me his plans. He wants to learn all the jutsu in the world, including the forbidden ones because someday he wishes to destroy the Leaf Village. I tried to talk him out of it, believe me I did but he wouldn't listen. He simply walked past me and for some reason, I couldn't bring myself to stop him."

"You let him go?" Tsunade questioned, not believing what she was hearing.

"I couldn't bring myself to fight him Tsunade! He was my student, I practically raised him!"

"That doesn't matter! Because you didn't stop him Jiraiya almost died!"

"I know that and I regret not stopping him but that's all in the past now and Orochimaru is our enemy now. I'm just happy that you came back and saved Jiraiya."

"I couldn't just let him die you know."

"I know." He smiled, "Stay as long as you like. I can give you back the keys to the Senju compound."

"No that won't be necessary because I'm going to leave now."

"You can't leave before Jiraiya wakes up. What if something medically unforeseen happens?Just stay until he opens his eyes."

Tsunade hesitated before she gave her answer because Sarutobi was practically begging her to stay, "Okay fine." She said, "But as soon as Jiraiya wakes up, I'm gone."

* * *

Jiraiya opened his eyes to find himself in a strange, unfamiliar room. His eyes darted all over the room until they focused on a bouquet of yellow flowers on a side table with a get well card attached to it. It didn't take him too long to realize that he was in a hospital room. The last thing he remembered before he passed out was hearing Orochimaru tell him that the blade he stabbed him with was dipped in a poison and that he was going to die within a few days. If all of that were true then why was he still alive? He knew for sure that whatever poison he used on him was complex and hard to counter. So why was he alive and well?

"Nice to see you awake Jiraiya sensei." A voice coming from beside him said.

Jiraiya turned to the direction of the voice and smiled when he saw his blonde haired student.

"I thought you were a goner for sure this time." Minato said and took a seat beside his mentor, "How are you feeling?"

"Minato, who-who healed me? The poison that Orochimaru used was complex. Whoever healed me must be highly skilled."

"You don't remember being saved by the medical team that Lord Hokage sent behind you after you went after Orochimaru?"

Jiraiya shook his head, not remembering anything like that, "I only remember what Orochimaru told me and seeing him walk away..." He said then trailed off. Orochimaru, the only friend he had left was gone to the bad and he couldn't save him. He felt like a useless, inadequate ninja. How could he call himself a student of the Third Hokage when he couldn't even save his friend?

"Jiraiya sensei, are you alright?" Minato asked, noticing that something was bothering Jiraiya. He saw the look of despair on his face and couldn't help but wonder why. Jiraiya was alive and healthy, so why was he so sad?

"I couldn't save my friend. What kind of ninja am I if I couldn't even save him?" Jiraiya said quietly, "I have no right to call myself Sannin."

"Don't say that Jiraiya sensei! It's not your fault that Orochimaru decided to go against the village. You did everything you could to stop him. Don't blame yourself for something that you had no control over."

"If I were a stronger ninja I could have beat him to a bloody pulp and drag him back to the village. I would have been able to talk some sense into him but I was too weak. Now I have to live with the guilt of being unable to save him. I should have died! Who the hell saved me?! I'll kill the bastard who did!"

"You really don't know who saved you?" Minato asked.

"Of course I don't! I was unconscious!"

"She saved you..."

"Who?"

Suddenly the door opened and Jiraiya turned his attention to the person who was standing in the door frame. His heart sank to his feet for he could not believe that the woman who he has not seen in four years was actually standing before him. Was he seeing a ghost? Was that really Tsunade?

"Tsu-Tsunade?"

"Hello Jiraiya..."

"Wh-What are you doing here?"

"I'm sorry Jiraiya sensei but I have somewhere that I need to be. See you later." Minato said when he realized that the two former teammates needed some privacy to talk things through and get reacquainted. He left the room and closed the door behind him, silently hoping that his master could find happiness.

"Sarutobi sensei told me everything." Tsunade said, "I came to save you."

"You saved me?"

"I just said that." Tsunade said and checked his vitals, "You seem to be doing well. You can be discharged today. I'll inform one of the nurses."

"Why did you save me?" He asked softly.

"What?"

"Why did you come all this way just to save me? You should have just left me to die! Why is it that you always seem to hurt me?!"

"What the hell are you talking about?! I didn't hurt you idiot! I saved your damn life!"

"By saving my life you hurt me just like how you hurt me four years ago!" Jiraiya shouted, furious at the fact that he was not left to die. He couldn't stand the thought that he was so useless that he couldn't save Orochimaru and now, he had to live with it.

Tsunade couldn't stand to be in the same room as him. She knew that he would be angry upon seeing her. She tried to do something nice for him and she got clobbered because of it. All she could feel now was guilt for hurting him once again. She should have never come, she should have just stayed out of it. By nightfall, she would leave the village again with Shizune.

She didn't say another word to him. She simply nodded her head and exited the room, leaving a fuming Jiraiya alone. Before she left the building however, she informed a nurse that he could be discharged from the hospital. Even after four years, she couldn't do anything right.

* * *

"We're leaving already?" Shizune asked after Tsunade told her to pack her bags. Shizune was in no rush to leave. She loved the village with all her heart and she loved the room that Tsunade fixed up for her so many years ago. She knew in her heart that they could have a better life here instead of the dump where they were living. Tsunade had to work too hard in their new village and the stress of meeting the daily financial demands was taking a toll on her. In the Leaf Village, she would be more than able to live comfortably without having to work so hard. She could return to being a ninja or even work in the hospital. So many opportunities were there for her in this very village and yet she was so willing to leave them all behind.

"Yes Shizune, we're leaving." Tsunade simply said.

"But we just got here and I already packed out all of my clothes." She whined, "I miss the Village and I love this house. I want to be a ninja like everybody else here and go to the Academy and go on missions with my squad. I was born to be a ninja and yet I can't be one because we have to live in the middle of nowhere because you're running away from a man! I hate it there Lady Tsunade, I absolutely hate it and TonTon hates it too! We love it here and yet you're taking me away from the place of my birth again! It's just not fair!" Shizune shouted with tears in her eyes. The thought of leaving the village once again to return to a hard, unforgiving life made her emotional so without thinking, she ran out of the house with her little pig in hand. She wasn't sure where she was running to but she needed to prove a point to Tsunade. She didn't want to leave and by running away for a little, Tsunade would get the message and hopefully rethink her plans.

"Shizune get back here!" Tsunade shouted but soon realized that her attempts to get Shizune to come back were futile. Shizune needed some time to calm down and she knew that she wouldn't be calming down anytime soon. Tsunade hated constantly keeping Shizune away from her home but what choice did she have? Jiraiya hated her and didn't want to be anywhere close to her. He made that perfectly clear earlier today. She didn't know what to do but she knew for sure that they wouldn't be leaving the village tonight. Shizune needed to cool down and Tsunade needed to think about her future.

Tsunade stepped out of her house and walked down the road. She wasn't sure where she was going but she was going somewhere. Her life was a complicated mess. Jiraiya hated her and soon Shizune would start to hate her too. It was as if she were all alone again. Shizune was getting older and older with each passing day and soon she would be able to go off on her own, then Tsunade would be completely alone. Loneliness was all she felt as she continued her walk. She couldn't help but wonder why her life was so hard. At first her life was perfect but as soon as Nawaki died, her life took a dramatic turn for the worse. Perhaps if he never died, she would still be happy.

Tsunade soon found herself in the village graveyard. She was all too familiar with that plot of land and she loathed it with all her being. This was where her brother was laid to rest so this place held nothing but horrible memories of his funeral for her. She remembered every single detail of that dreadful day. That was the day when she broke down like a hysterical baby in front of the tombstone and that too was the day when she made love to Jiraiya. That day was the start of all her problems with him. What a horrible day it was. She stood in front of her brother's grave and felt extremely sad but was glad that his resting place was kept neat with a bouquet of flowers at the head of the tombstone.

"Hey Nawaki." Tsunade started, "I haven't been here in a while because I left the village. I know you're probably thinking that leaving the village was a terrible thing to do but believe me when I say that I had to. Jiraiya and I are in a very weird place right now and honestly I think he hates every bone in my body. I always seem to hurt him so how can I be around him? I know that Shizune wants to stay here but she needs to understand that we just can't, not with the way things are. I'll try to make a better life for her where we are now because I just can't stay here..." She said and then trailed off. She remembered Jiraiya saying that he wanted to die. Why? Why did he want to die? She wasn't sure but she felt compelled to know the reason why. What if he tried to take his own life? She didn't want him to die, that was the reason why she came back. No, she had to get to the bottom of this and possibly talk him out of doing anything rash. She knew that he didn't want to see her but if he killed himself, she wouldn't be able to live with the guilt. After all, she was the one who gave him the okay to leave the hospital.

* * *

Shizune sat on a bench outside of the Ninja Academy. She admired the building and wished that she could be attending there. She wanted to learn with the other students. Yes, Tsunade taught her the basics already and she knew that if she went to the Academy, she would be at the top of the class. She just wanted to be the ninja that she was born to be and by living in Yokohama Town, she couldn't be. She continued to look at the building until she heard the school bell ring. All the children who were once in the building ran out and while some went home, others stayed on the school grounds to play on the swings or the monkey bars. They looked as if they were having so much fun and Shizune wanted nothing more than to join in on the fun. She was too shy and nervous to approach the children though so she stayed seated with TonTon in her lap.

"What are you doing out here by yourself Shizune?"

Shizune turned around to see the Third Hokage standing in front of her with a generous smile plastered on his face. He was such a kind man with a smile that made others want to be around him.

"I ran away from Lady Tsunade for a little." She confessed, "Please don't send me back to her right now. I just want to be away from her for a little while longer."

"I'm not going to send you back child. It's for you to decide whether it's right that you return to her or not. I just want to know why you did what you did."

She couldn't keep anything away from the Hokage. Perhaps if he knew her situation, he could help her, "She wants to leave the village again and I don't want to." She started, "Oh Lord Hokage, you have no idea what we wet through when we left the village. First Lady Tsunade was an emotional wreck. She used to cry herself to sleep every night! But now we live in a town called Yokohama Town. It's terrible there Lord Hokage, absolutely terrible. We can't be the ninjas that we are because we need to be able to fit in with the other people living there so Lady Tsunade had to become a waitress. First she worked in a gentlemen's bar and she used to get harassed by the men there all the time. She often couldn't put food on the table because her salary was so low but I never complained. I took what she could give me and did without what she couldn't. She got fired form that job and now she got a job at the bakery. We could have a better life here but she still wants to leave. I don't want to go back. I would love to stay but I know that I have to leave again with Lady Tsunade. Isn't there something that you can do?"

Sarutobi shook his head, "I can't tell Tsunade what to do Shizune. She's an adult and has a right to make her own decisions and as her adoptive daughter, you should follow where she leads. I want Tsunade to stay here, believe me I do but if she wants to leave, I can't stop her."

"I guess I understand..."

"Everything will work out eventually." Sarutobi said and held out his hand to Shizune, "Come now, I'll treat you and your pet to some sweet dumplings."

"Really? Thanks Lord Hokage!"

Sarutobi and Shizune walked hand in hand to the dumpling shop. Shizune still didn't want to leave but she knew that she had to. They made a pact that they were a team from the moment Tsunade signed the adoption papers. She couldn't leave the team. They were together for life.

* * *

Tsunade was suddenly overcome with a feeling of intense concern for Jiraiya. She couldn't understand why he wanted to die. She always knew him to be a person who was always happy and upbeat. Therefore, the thought of him not being happy and wanting to perish drove her into confusion. She knew that he hated her and didn't want to be around her at all but she had to see him, she had to try to help him.

She walked out of the graveyard after she whispered a silent prayer for her deceased brother and headed over to the hospital. She walked through the many different halls of the building until she got to Jiraiya's hospital room. She swung open the door but to her surprise, Jiraiya was nowhere to be found. Instead, an elderly woman was lying in the hospital bed that Jiraiya once laid in.

"Visiting hours are over." A nurse said.

"Where's Jiraiya? He was in this room."

"Are you forgetting that you discharged him earlier today?"

Realization dawned on Tsunade. It was true that she discharged him but she must have been too worked up over what he said to her to remember.

"Oh that's right." Tsunade said, "Would he be home by now?"

"Yes, we told Master Jiraiya to go straight home and rest."

"Okay thank you." Tsunade said before leaving the hospital to go to Jiraiya's house. She was all too familiar with the paths that must be taken in order to get to his small house. She used to go there all the time. The last time that she has been to his home was when they made love. That was four years ago.

Tsunade arrived at her home and took a deep breath before knocking on the door. When she worked up enough courage, she knocked twice on the door. She stood there for quite some time but received no answer. Against her better judgement, she reached under his welcome mat to retrieve his spare key. She opened the door and locked it behind her. The house looked the same as it did four years ago. It carried that familiar masculine smell and mirrored Jiraiya's personality.

"Jiraiya?" She called as she walked around the house. She looked everywhere for him but he was nowhere to be found. He was supposed to be resting so perhaps he was asleep in his bedroom. She walked over to the bedroom door and pushed it open slightly and peeped through the small gap between the door and the doorframe that was created. Then she saw a sight that she never thought she would ever see in her life. Jiraiya was standing in the middle of his bedroom holding a knife close to his wrist. He was going to cut himself and allow himself to bleed out until he was no longer living. Without a thought Tsunade burst through the door and grabbed the knife straight out of his hand.

"Tsunade?!" Jiraiya shouted in disbelief, "What the hell are you doing in my house? How did you get in here?!"

"That doesn't matter!" She shouted, "Why were you trying to kill yourself? Why do you want to die?!"

"Why do you care if I live or die? You don't care about me! You made that perfectly clear four years ago so don't barge in my house like the intruder you are and pretend as if you care about me because you clearly don't!"

"If I didn't care about you I wouldn't have come here to save your ass from death!" Tsunade blurted out. She couldn't believe what actually came out of her mouth. Did she just admit that she cared about Jiraiya to his face?

"Y-You care about me?" He asked in disbelief.

She couldn't deny it and she couldn't take back what she said. She needed to gain his trust in order to prevent him from killing himself so she simply nodded her head, "Yes" she said, "I care about you. Now, can you tell me why you lashed out on me today for saving you and why you were trying to kill yourself?"

"I couldn't save Orochimaru, that's why. I feel guilty for allowing him to become our enemy and I can't live with that. Perhaps if I were stronger, I could have stopped him."

"How stupid can you be?" She asked, "Whether you were stronger or not Orochimaru still would have turned against us. Jiraiya, he almost killed you. He is no longer our comrade. He's our enemy. The sooner you accept that, the better it will be for you." She said and then grew sorrowful, "There are many things in my life that I feel guilty about but I never tried to kill myself. In fact, I haven't tried to make it better either... I just ran away from my problems..."

Jiraiya didn't know what to say. He didn't push the topic any further so he just said, "I guess you are right Tsunade. And I'm sorry for lashing out on you. You just wanted to help me."

"It's okay." Tsunade said. She hated that he was apologizing to her when she still couldn't apologize to him. She was indeed sorry for what she did but she still couldn't tell him sorry to his face.

"When are you leaving again?" Jiraiya asked, not sure about what else to say.

"Maybe tomorrow."

"Can you not?" He asked and she looked at him his confusion in her face, "You just got here and we haven't seen each other for years. Perhaps we can start over and get to know each other again?"

"Jiraiya..."

"Plus, I need to properly thank you for saving my life. Let me take you out to dinner tomorrow."

What could she say? She couldn't tell him no and maybe this was indeed a chance for them to start over. Perhaps they could become friends again and leave the past in the past. If they do rekindle their friendship, Tsunade would be able to stay in the village and Shizune would love that. What harm could one little dinner do anyway?

"Okay Jiraiya."

Things were different between them but this was a start. Hopefully they could sort out their problems so that everything would go back to normal.

* * *

**At least their speaking to each other right?**

**Originally I had it planned out that Jiraiya would be beyond happy to see Tsunade but I felt that this scenario would be more interesting. Do you guys agree?**

**So what exactly will happen in the next chapter?**

**I'll let you in on the secret... They're going to have dinner together. ;)**

**Nope I'm not telling you. You just have to wait for the next chapter.**

**Thanks as usual for reading. Your support means so much to me! **

**Xoxoxoxoxoxoxo**


	11. Chapter 11

Tsunade stepped out of the shower with her hair soaking wet and her naked body covered with a warm, white towel. She walked over to the mirror to take in her appearance and sighed deeply as she remembered the reason why she was getting ready. It was almost time to go out to dinner with her old friend Jiraiya and she couldn't help but feel nervous and unsure of herself. She hasn't seen the man in four years so she knew that conversation would not flow freely between them. Four years is a long time and within that time span, people change, sometimes for the better and other times for the worse. She wasn't sure if she had changed for the better or the worse. She spent those four years trying to survive with limited funds and that alone made her stronger but she had yet to apologize to Jiraiya so she still felt like the same person she was four years ago. Maybe Jiraiya changed. Maybe he was more mature and truly wasn't interested in reestablishing their friendship. Perhaps he just wanted to take her out to dinner to say thank you and nothing more. Whatever his reasons were, she couldn't refuse him. She refused him enough in her lifetime and she sure as hell wasn't going to refuse him again. He wanted them to sit down to a simple dinner and she didn't see the harm in that. The major reason for her anxiety was the fact that after all these years she still felt guilty for using him.

She retrieved an extra towel from the towel rack beside the mirror and ran it through her tangled blonde hair. She ran it through her hair in a continuous motion until her hair was no longer soaking wet but semi-dry. She walked out of the bathroom and went over to her wardrobe to choose her clothes for the evening. She took out her usual gray kimono style top, navy blue three quarter pants, navy blue obi, and green jacket. She put her clothes on and then ran a brush through her hair to untangle all the knots in order to leave her hair smooth and knot free. Her hair was then tied into her usual loose ponytails. She applied her everyday light pink lipstick and some light eye makeup. Afterwards she put her black heels on her feet and walked into the living room to wait on Jiraiya to show up. Once in the living room she saw Shizune at the dining table sitting in front of a coloring book. She was coloring a drawing of the exterior of a rather large house. Her coloring was perfect as she stayed within the lines and it looked absolutely beautiful.

"That looks great Shizune." Tsunade complimented her while eyeing the drawing.

"Thank you Lady Tsunade." Shizune said before looking up at her mentor. She looked so beautiful and Shizune couldn't help but compliment her, "Lady Tsunade, you look so pretty."

"Really?" Tsunade asked as she looked down at what she was wearing, "I don't feel very pretty." She said softly, "Thanks anyway."

The truth was that Tsunade was beyond nervous about this dinner arrangement. What were they supposed to talk about? How was she going look him straight in the eye and not feel guilty? Oh why did she agree to this?

"Why don't you feel pretty?" Shizune wondered out loud.

"I don't know Shizune." Tsunade sighed and took a seat beside the ten year old, "Maybe agreeing to go out to dinner with Jiraiya was a mistake. Maybe I should cancel."

"Don't do that." Shizune said. Shizune wanted nothing more than for everything to go well on this outing. If Tsunade and Jiraiya could become friends again, that would mean that she didn't have to leave the village again. She just wanted to stay here and live a life that both her and Tsunade could enjoy without working down to the bone to get everything they need. They both deserved a better life than that.

"What am I supposed to talk about with the guy? It's going to be so awkward!"

"Talk about your genin days or something. Don't just cancel on him at the last minute. Just pretend as if nothing happened between you two."

Tsunade thought about it and realized that it would be unfair to him to cancel in such a short notice. Despite her anxiety and uncertainty, she knew she had to go to dinner with him. It was the right thing to do considering all the times she treated him like dirt and when she ruthlessly used him for his body without giving a thought to how it would affect him.

"Okay, okay. I won't cancel." Tsunade sighed.

"Great!" Shizune smiled.

"By the way." Tsunade started, "I didn't appreciate you running off like that earlier today. Where did you go anyway?"

Shizune was hoping that she could get away with it but she should have known better. She could never get away with anything under Tsunade's care, "I'm sorry for running away but I was so upset. I only want to stay here and you wouldn't listen but I know now that what I did was wrong and that I should follow anywhere you lead because you took me in out of the kindness of your heart. Please forgive me." She apologized, "I was with Lord Hokage. He took me to eat sweet dumplings."

"You were with Sarutobi sensei?"

Shizune nodded her head, "He explained to me that what I did was wrong."

"Well you're forgiven then. Just don't make it happen again. Understood?"

"Yes Lady Tsunade."

Suddenly there was a knock on the door and before Tsunade could get up to answer it, Shizune sprung into action and rushed to the door, "I'll get it!" She declared and looked through the peep hole of the door before opening it. On the other side stood Jiraiya. He looked extremely handsome and like Tsunade, he was wearing an expression of uncertainty on his face. Shizune smiled to herself and opened the door for him.

"Hi Master Jiraiya." She said and then embraced the rather large man, "It's so good to see you."

"Why hello Shizune. You've grown a lot since I last saw you." Jiraiya said noticing the obvious difference in her height. Before she was a little pip squeak but now she was growing into a tall, slender young lady.

"Yup, I'm ten years old now." Shizune boasted.

"Ten already? Wow time flies doesn't it." Jiraiya gasped finding it hard to believe that the little six year old orphan he met so long ago was now ten years old. He reached into his coat and pulled out a whole bar of chocolate and handed it to the raven haired girl, "This is for you."

Shizune accepted the chocolate and hugged him again, "Thank you Master Jiraiya!"

"You're welcome." He said and she pulled away from their hug, "Is Tsunade around?" He asked.

"Yes she is." Shizune smiled and took hold of his large hand, "Come on, I'll lead you to her."

The pair walked into the dining room where Tsunade was still seated at the table. When they walked in Tsunade immediately rose to her feet and nervously tucked a lock of her hair behind her ear, "Hello Jiraiya..."

"Hello Tsunade." He replied and nervously looked around the room, trying his best to avoid looking her straight in the eyes, "I like what you did to the place." He said, unsure of what else to say.

"I didn't do anything to the house." She said.

"Oh..." Jiraiya said, feeling like a complete idiot, "We'll it looks nice."

"Thanks..."

Tsunade wasn't sure if she should have invited him to sit down or offer him a beverage of some sort so she just stood there with her eyes focusing on the ground. Shizune could sense the awkwardness between the two and just wanted to cover her face with her palm.

"Perhaps we should get going then." Jiraiya finally said, unable to stand the awkwardness for another moment.

"Yes, we should." Tsunade agreed and turned to Shizune, "While I'm gone don't open the door for anybody, keep the windows and door closed at all times. Stay in your room and go to bed early okay."

"Okay." Shizune said while making a mental note of everything that Tsunade told her to do, "I'll be fine."

"Okay."

"Ready to go?" Jiraiya asked.

"Yes." Tsunade said and walked towards the door with Jiraiya following behind her.

"Have fun you two!" Shizune called after them. She silently hoped that everything would go well between them so that they could hopefully rekindle their relationship because she wanted nothing more than to remain in the Leaf Village.

* * *

Jiraiya and Tsunade walked to their destination side by side but it was as if they were a million miles away from each other. Tsunade's arms were wrapped around her body and Jiraiya's hands were buried deep in his pockets and they remained that way as they continued to walk in absolute silence. Both were lost in their own thoughts and uncertain about what to say to each other. Jiraiya was the one who suggested that they have this dinner because he wanted to patch up their broken bond but so far, he wasn't doing a good job. She wasn't helping the situation either because she still felt like a horrible person. Oh how awkward everything was.

They finally arrived at the restaurant of Jiraiya's choice and much to their dismay, the place was empty with the exception of a couple sitting in the back and a family of four sitting up front. Without the noise from a busy restaurant, the silence between them would only become even more awkward than before. They were quickly seated and handed menus then given a few moments to look over the food options and decide on their meal for the evening. Tsunade immediately looked down on her menu and scanned each and every page slowly in an attempt to avoid conversation with him and he did the same. They stayed like that until Jiraiya looked up at her and broke the deafening silence.

"So have you decided on what you would like to eat?" He questioned.

She still didn't look up at him but answered him nevertheless, "I'll just have the Caesar Salad and a glass of water."

"That's it?"

She didn't say anything but simply nodded her head to indicate that a salad and a glass of water was indeed all she wanted to consume that evening. For some reason she didn't have much of an appetite. There were so many things that she wanted to tell him. She wanted to tell him about the hard life that she struggled through when she left the village and share the excitement she felt over getting a new job. She even wanted to tell him about Shizune's progress as a medical ninja. She didn't know why but she felt the desire to share all of this with him but for some reason, she couldn't allow herself to utter even a single word to him. Did her guilt overpower her and force her into silence?

Jiraiya waved his hand in the air and the waitress who seated them earlier arrived at their table to take their order.

"I'll have the sirloin steak and some wine and my fri- umm, the lady here will have the Caesar salad and a glass of water." He ordered and the waitress went to place their order after taking back the menus that she distributed to them when they walked in. Tsunade no longer had her reading material so she was reduced to allowing her eyes to wander all around the room. Jiraiya wasn't sure if he should call Tsunade his friend. What were they? He didn't know anymore.

Jiraiya nervously played with his fingers while Tsunade continued to look around the room. It was silent, so silent that one could hear a pin drop to the floor. So this is what their relationship has come to. Silence and nothing more. Jiraiya was the one who invited her out so he should have initiated conversation and yet he just sat there like a mute, playing with his fingers as if he had nothing better to do. He was the man and should act like one so he pushed his nervousness aside and engaged her in conversation, "Thanks for saving my life again."

Tsunade stopped looking around the room and finally looked up at him. She felt horrible. He shouldn't be thanking her. She saved him because it was the right thing to do and nothing more but why did she feel as if her world would come crashing down on her if he died? Oh why did he have to thank her?

"Don't thank me." She said softly, "I saved you because it was the humane thing to do. Plus, Sarutobi sensei didn't want his favorite student to die so he sent for me."

"He sent for you?" He questioned her. He had no idea that Sarutobi asked Tsunade to come to the village to save his life.

"That's what I just said. I had no way of knowing that you were on death's door so if Sarutobi sensei didn't inform me I would have never known."

It filled his heart with joy to know that Sarutobi cared about him so much that he took a long shot and decided to call for Tsunade. There was no guarantee that she would come and yet she did. But why? Why did she go out of her way to run to his rescue after all that they've been through. This question boggled his mind and left him hungry for an answer, "You could have ignored him and yet you decided to come. Why? Why did you come here to save my life?"

Tsunade's heart pounded in her chest when she heard his question. He asked her this before. Why did he want to hear her answer again?, "I told you why already."

"You did?"

She nodded her head.

"I forgot." He said with all honesty in his voice, "Tell me again."

She looked up at him with pleading eyes that silently told him not to force her to answer him. He looked deep into her honey eyes and got the message. He didn't say another word and neither did she but thankfully their meal came and they occupied themselves by eating their food.

Jiraiya devoured his meat as if he hasn't eaten in days while Tsunade ate her salad slowly. She was happy that she didn't have to tell Jiraiya that she cared about him again because as much as she wanted to deny it, it was the truth and with that truth came intense feelings that she so wished to ignore. She didn't want to analyze those feelings because she was afraid of the answer hidden among them. What if she found out that she loved him? That would only result in disaster because she knew in her heart that she wouldn't be able to leave him. If she fell in love with him and they started a relationship, it would only leave both of them hurt. They were just two people who weren't meant to be together.

She tried to prolong the eating of her meal but hunger got the best of her and she ended up eating the entire salad a lot faster than she expected. It was all gone now and Jiraiya was finished with his meal as well. She had nothing to do now but talk to him again.

"So... I wonder where Orochimaru is now." She said, knowing that it was probably a bad idea to bring up their now evil teammate but she was desperate and had nothing else to talk about.

"Who knows." He said sadly. Obviously he was still upset over losing his friend to the darkness but he understood that really and truly there was nothing he could have done to prevent it, "Who knew that our childhood friend would turn out to be so evil?"

"I sure as hell didn't." Tsunade stated, "We were always the overachievers while you were the underdog so we hung out when you had to stay behind to train more. We even went on missions together while you were off in Mount Myoboku training. He was always quiet and unattached but he was like a brother to me. I may not show it but it hurts to know that he's now our enemy. We knew him the best, he was our teammate and he went and betrayed us all."

"He was my best friend, the brother I never had and to think that he almost killed me..." He said before trailing off to get lost in the memories of his friendship with Orochimaru up to the moment when he drew his blade and stabbed him mercilessly.

Tsunade could see the hurt in his eyes so against her better judgement and the voice inside her head telling her to keep her distance from him, she extended her arm and placed her hand over his hand that was squeezed into a fist, "At least we have happy memories of him." She said in order to reassure him, "He may be bad now but we will always hold those happy memories in our hearts and that's what matters. Who knows how our relationship with him will change from now on but our memories of him, nothing can change that."

Somehow Tsunade's words made him feel better. He placed his free hand over her hand that was covering his fist. He gently stroked her hand with his thumb and said, "Thank you Tsunade."

She pulled her hand away and tried to conceal the blush that rose to her cheeks. What was this that she was feeling? She never blushed around Jiraiya and yet here she was blushing like a love sick teenager. Furthermore, she thought that he looked so handsome and smelled amazing. It was a masculine smell that made her become weak at the knees. Why was she feeling so attracted to him? What was going on with her?

"So are you done eating?" He asked.

She looked down at her plate and saw that it was empty. It was pretty obvious that she was done but she figured that he just asked in order to keep their conversation flowing, "Yeah I'm done."

"Great." He replied and called the waitress over to their table again. She took the empty plates away from the table and shortly after came back with the bill. Tsunade's eyes wandered over to the piece of paper and scanned it until she saw how much her meal came up to. She dug around in her purse until she came across her wallet and took out the money that needed to be paid. She put the money on the table and when Jiraiya saw it he shook his head, "Tsunade you don't have to pay." He said, taking up the money and handing it to her.

"This isn't a date Jiraiya, it's only fair that I pay my fair share." She refused to take the money from him but he decided to be stubborn. He wasn't going to allow her to pay.

"I know but I'm the one who invited you out. I'm paying and that's it."

Tsunade sighed, knowing that she wasn't going to win this argument so she reluctantly took the money from him and stuffed if back into her wallet. He took his wallet out of his pocket and put the exact money on the table as well as a generous tip for their waitress. When everything was paid, they rose to their feet and left the restaurant. As soon as they stepped out, the chilly air hit them and Tsunade immediately wrapped her arms around her slender body. Jiraiya was going to offer her his coat but she interrupted him before he could say anything.

"Thanks for dinner. I should be getting back to Shizune now." She said and started to walk off in the opposite direction.

"You know..." He started and she turned around. He had her attention now and as much as he wanted to take back what he said, he knew that he couldn't and therefore had to continue, "It's quite cold out. Perhaps you could come over to my house and I'll make us some tea."

"Jiraiya, I don't think that's a good idea." She said.

"Please?" He asked, "Just tea and nothing more." He didn't want his night with her to end so soon. He hasn't seen her in so long and while they were on speaking terms, he wanted to get to the point where the awkwardness between them was completely eradicated. He wanted to be friends again and by inviting her over for tea, he felt as if it would bring them closer together.

The longing for her company was beaming through his eyes and sunk into her heart. She could refuse him so she could do nothing or say anything but yes, "Okay Jiraiya, I'll come over for some tea but I can't stay long."

He didn't care how long she stayed as long as he could be in her company for a few more moments. She walked up beside him with her hands still around her body. She was cold, that was evident so without thinking he took off his jacket. Tsunade saw this and was about to refuse but before she knew it, his jacket was draped over her body. It was so big for her that it provided her with not only warmth, but comfort as well. It smelled of him and surrounded her with his familiar masculine scent. If she could, she would wear his jacket for the rest of her life but that was impossible since it did not belong to her and they were not a couple.

They continued to walk until they arrived at Jiraiya's home. His house was all too familiar to Tsunade and held both happy and terrible memories for her. She didn't know why but her heart started to beat quickly within her chest as she walked through his door. Like a true gentleman, he took her coat off of her shoulders and placed it on his coat rack at his door.

"You really didn't have to give me your coat Jiraiya." Tsunade said after he hung up his coat, "You must have been freezing."

"You were freezing." He reminded her, "I wasn't about to let you freeze to death while I remained warm in my jacket. I am a gentleman you know."

"Right." She said sarcastically and rolled her eyes.

"You can sit down you know." He said while pointing to his couch, the same couch that they made love on.

"Ummm, how about I sit at the table." Tsunade said, not wanting to sit on the couch. It held too many memories for her, memories that she was afraid to think about in that moment.

"Sure." He said while rubbing the back of his neck, "You can sit wherever you want."

Tsunade sat at the table and Jiraiya stood awkwardly in the middle of the room, unsure of what to do or what to say.

"Jiraiya?" Tsunade said, pulling him out of his thoughts.

"Yes."

"The tea..."

"Oh right!" He said while scrambling to the kitchen to prepare the tea. He chose his favorite blend of tea, knowing that Tsunade would love it and put a generous scoop in each cup then poured steaming hot water in both cups. He let them set for a few minutes and then sweetened them with cream and sugar. He brought the cups out and handed one to Tsunade. She gladly accepted it and drank the liquid, allowing to it to warm her insides. He did the same and soon, they were both finished.

The sat in silence for a few more moments until Tsunade rose to her feet, "I better be going now, it's late and Shizune must be wondering where I am."

"Why did you leave?" Jiraiya blurted out unintentionally while he too rose to his feet and stood before her. He couldn't believe that those words actually came out of his mouth. He never meant to ask her that question but it just came out. It was as if his mouth had a mind of it's own.

"What?" She asked, feeling as if this conversation was headed down a path that she was not prepared to go down.

He couldn't hold back any longer. He asked the question that boggled his mind for four years and even though it was unintentional, he was somewhat happy that it was out in the open. He wanted to know why she left the village so many years ago and now perhaps he would finally get his answer, "Why did you leave the village? Nobody asked you to leave."

"I have my reasons." She snapped, trying so desperately to avoid this conversation.

"And what are those reasons?" He asked. He had no intentions of allowing her to avoid the question.

"Why do you care anyway?"

"I care because when you left, a piece of me left with you. I haven't been my usual self since you left and everyday I wondered why you left the village... Why you left me."

"Jiraiya..." Tsunade said, silently pleading him to stop talking. She didn't want to tell him the reason why she left but he was persistent and determined to know her reason.

"No." He said and stepped closer to her, so close that she could feel his breath upon her face, "Please just tell me why you left me so many years ago."

"It's simple really." She started, "I left because I caused you too much pain, pain that you didn't deserve. I couldn't live with the guilt I felt for hurting and using you so I left thinking that with me gone, you wouldn't have to suffer anymore. I thought that it was for the best."

He placed his hand over her cheek and stared deep into the hazel eyes that he loved so much, "I didn't want you to leave. You never had to leave. The pain that I felt when you walked through those gates was nothing compared to the minor pain that I experienced when you told me that you didn't want to be in a relationship with me. Don't you see Tsunade? When you're not with me, I'm incomplete but when you're here, you complete me."

Tears formed in her eyes as he spoke to her. His tone was so calm and through his eyes she saw nothing but honesty and... Love. He loved her, this was true but did she love him back? She wasn't sure and perhaps she never will be.

"Jiraiya I'm..." She started but stopped herself.

"What?" He asked, "Just say it, you can tell me anything."

"I'm so sorry for using you that night. I was being selfish. I only wanted to feel happiness in a moment where I felt complete sadness and you were there for me and provided me with that happiness but I didn't stop to consider your feelings and how what we did would affect you. You deserved better than that and I was a horrible person for doing that to you. Will you ever forgive me?"

He chuckled lightly and wiped away one of her fallen tears with a gentle thumb, "Oh Tsunade, I have forgiven you four years ago."

"Really?"

"Yeah..."

Their faces moved closer and closer together until they joined by the lips. They don't know how it happened but they were now kissing each other so passionately that after a few moments they had to pull apart to gasp for much needed air. They looked into each other's eyes and saw lust within. Both were silently begging for more and without thinking, they gave into their bodily urges. Before they knew it, they were devouring each other's lips with their own with wet, sloppy kisses. Jiraiya abandoned her lips and sucked the skin of her neck until little red marks were left all over her neck. Her hands wandered all over his muscular chest and when they couldn't bare to stand anymore, Jiraiya scooped her up bridal style in his arms and carried her to his bedroom while never breaking their kiss. He placed her gently on the bed as if she were fine china and started to remove her clothing. First her took off her jacket and placed kisses all over her arms and cleavage before he undid her obi and tore open her top to reveal her breasts covered with the thin fabric of her bra. With skilled hands he unclasped her bra and freed her breasts from their confinement. He kissed her bare chest and took her by surprise when he enclosed his lips over the nipple of her right breast. While he nipped and sucked at it, he teased it's twin with his fingers. She moaned and groaned his name as he pleasured her and when she couldn't take it any more, she pushed him off of her and tore off his shirt, revealing his chest. She kissed each and every muscle available to her and then stuffed her hand into his trousers to grab hold of the member that gave her ultimate satisfaction. She continued to stroke him while he kissed her and when they both felt a yearning in the pit of their stomachs, they discarded the remaining clothes on their body. She laid on the bed with her legs apart and he positioned himself between her legs before he thrust into her with one swift movement. She arched her back as he entered her and their bodies moved together in a steady, yet fast pattern until they reached their climax. They finished at the same time and when it was done, he pulled out of her and gave her one last passionate kiss on her lips before he collapsed next to her. They were panting heavily since they just participated in a physical activity that left them both lost for words. It was by far the best experience of their lives and neither had any regrets.

They laid awake for a few more moments, wrapped in each other's embrace and neither wanted that moment to end. Sleep was about to claim him but before he could fall asleep he whispered, "Don't leave." In her ear and allowed himself to drift off to sleep.

Tsunade felt her constrict as he whispered those words in her ear. Don't leave? How was she simply not going to leave? They made love but this time was different from the last act of passion they shared. She wasn't using him for his body and he wasn't simply performing a service. They did what they did because they wanted to and they were acting on an impulse of want and desire. She didn't regret it but she knew that nothing good would come of it. He would probably want to start a relationship with her and as much as she wanted to give into him and become a couple, she knew in her heart that she couldn't. She didn't trust herself with his fragile heart and knew that if they really did become an item, she would without a doubt hurt him again.

She looked beside her to see his sleeping form and felt nothing but pain. She felt like a terrible person for what she was about to do but knew that it had to be done. She unwrapped herself from his embrace and retrieved her clothes that were scattered all over the floor. She dressed herself and when she did, she searched for a piece of paper and a pen. With a heavy heart, she composed a note for Jiraiya and placed it on the pillow that was supposed to be hers for the night. She gazed down at him and bent down to leave a kiss on his stubble-free cheek. Her heart was in knots as she kissed him for she knew that that would be their last kiss ever.

"I'm sorry that we can never happen." She whispered with tears in her eyes before she slipped out of the house in silence, refusing to look back because she knew that if she did, she would be unable to leave.

* * *

She opened the front door to her home with her key and as soon as she was in the house and wiped away her tears and told herself over and over again that she was doing the right thing. This was by far the hardest thing that she ever had to do in her life but it was for the best right? She packed the items that they carried with them and afterwards walked into Shizune's room. She was pleased to see her asleep in bed with TonTon curled up next to her. Tsunade slung their bags on her back and scooped Shizune up in her arms and put TonTon to lay on Shizune's stomach. She carried the girl bridal style out the house and under a moonless sky, they walked out of the village on their journey back to their new home. Tsunade tried to compose herself in a strong manner but she couldn't keep the tears from streaming down her face.

What she shared with Jiraiya was special and only confirmed her feelings for him. She loved him. She loved him so much that it hurt but she was afraid to be with him. She didn't trust herself and neither should he.

* * *

The sun rose that morning like it did everyday. As if in sync with the sun, Jiraiya rose as well. He outstretched his arm to the space on the bed beside him, expecting to feel the soft skin of Tsunade's body but he felt nothing but cold, wrinkled sheets. He immediately turned his head to her empty side of the bed and when he did, his heart sank. He was almost certain that this time he would wake up to her beautiful face but he was wrong. He was all alone in his house and she was nowhere to be found. His eyes came across a piece of paper that had his name written on it in handwriting that could only belong to Tsunade. He grabbed it from the pillow and opened it as if he were opening a check that was valued at a million dollars. However, his heart broke when he read what she wrote...

_Jiraiya, _

_I'm sorry that I left without saying goodbye but you have to understand that it was for the best. You don't want to be in a relationship with me. All I ever do is cause you pain and if we became a couple I know without a doubt that I'll only cause you more pain. By leaving you again I know that I hurt you deeply but with time that wound I caused you to have will heal. _

_What we shared last night was special and I don't regret any of it. But we've been down this road before and we both know that we are better as friends and nothing more. _

_Please don't try to find me or even contact me. It's better this way, trust me. Good luck with your life. Stay safe and I hope that you can find the love and happiness that you deserve._

_-Tsunade. _

The letter was tear stained but those tears did not belong to him. Those tears belonged to Tsunade. He cried, oh how he cried when he finished reading the letter. He wasn't angry with her. He missed her terribly. Why did she leave him? How could she possibly think that it was better to leave instead of to stay with him?

"Oh Tsunade, you have no idea how much this hurts." He said to himself.

He wanted nothing more than to be with her and she left him again. That was the most intense pain he has ever felt in his existence. He loved her so and wanted to tell her that but never got the opportunity and probably never will. He didn't know what would happen from here on out and how he will feel in the next few days but he was sure of one thing. Somehow he would find her again. It may take years but he swore to himself that when their paths cross once more, he won't let her go...

* * *

**So we go from 'Oh my God they made love again' to 'Oh my God she left him again!'. **

**Remember when I told you guys that everything happens eventually? Well you're just going to have to keep that in mind. I promise you that everything will work out in the end. *hugs* **

**Thank you so much for reading/reviewing and adding this story to your alerts. Look out for the next chapter guys and don't find me and kill me for separating Tsunade and Jiraiya again. **

**Xoxoxoxoxoxoxo**


	12. Chapter 12

Tsunade sat under the starry night sky in front of the small tent that she set up for Shizune, staring off into the vast distance. She felt absolutely terrible for leaving Jiraiya once again but she knew that it had to be done. If they were to enter into a relationship with each other she knew within her heart that it would only end in disaster. She probably would break his heart or maybe he would break hers and that would only leave them with permanent scars. No, it was better this way. Right?

She couldn't stop thinking about him and the night of passion that they shared. This time around, she wasn't using him for pleasure. No, they did what they did because they both wanted to feel each other's love. Only when she realized the feelings that she was trying so hard to deny and suppress did she allow her tears to fall freely from her honey colored eyes. She loved him. Finally, she could admit that to herself, but the love that she had for him was not enough for her to will herself to go back to the village, to him. She didn't trust herself with his heart and would never want to hurt him again. Of course she was well aware of the fact that she hurt him again by leaving but she knew that with time, he would get over it. It killed her to know that she loved him because she knew that they could never be together because all she has ever done and continues to do is cause him pain.

"Why did I have to fall in love with you?" She wondered out loud through gritted teeth and salty tears. It was never her intention to actually fall in love with him. They started out as friends and now they have entered a stage in their relationship where they both loved each other but had too many obstacles to climb over in order to be together. It was all so confusing and she found herself yearning for the past before they slept together for the first time. That time in her life was hard due to Nawaki's death but it was way better than how it was presently. Back then she wasn't nearly as confused and grief stricken as she was now. If she could change the past and do things differently, she would.

She wanted so desperately to stop thinking about him but, she found herself yearning for his soft touch, his sweet kisses, and his words of comfort. However, eventually she would have to forget. It sounded like a simple thing to do but it proved to be the most difficult thing she ever had to do in her life.

Shizune woke up in the middle of the night to find herself in a strange tent. She quickly sat up in her sleeping bag and covered her mouth with her hand to prevent herself from screaming out in fear. She had no idea where she was and who she was with but figured that she was kidnapped while she was asleep in her room. She was frightened and wanted nothing more than to go home so she looked around the tent to see if her kidnapper was there and when she saw the empty, untouched sleeping bag next to her, she realized that nobody was around. Her plan was simple. She was just going to quietly creep out of the tent and run as fast as she could back to the village. She followed through with her plan and as soon as she was out the tent she was going to make a run for it until she spotted a familiar blonde sitting alone in the darkness staring into oblivion. She was hugging her knees to her chest and from the looks of it, she was crying.

Now Shizune knew why she woke up in an unfamiliar tent. Tsunade must have snatched her up while she was sleeping and left the village again. She didn't want to leave again and Tsunade knew that, but there must have been a good reason as to why they were outside beneath the stars instead of in the comfort of their home. The ten year old girl decided to approach her master. She has only seen her cry like this once and that was four years ago. She cried because she left Jiraiya so Shizune was almost certain that the reason for her tears this time was Jiraiya again.

"Lady Tsunade?" Shizune said timidly as she walked closer to Tsunade. However, she received no response. She inched closer and closer to Tsunade and when she was right by her side, she placed her small hand on her master's trembling shoulder, "Lady Tsunade?"

Tsunade jumped slightly as she felt Shizune's hand upon her shoulder. She quickly wiped away her tears with the sleeve of her jacket and tried to hide the obvious shakiness in her voice, "Go back to bed Shizune." She instructed for she didn't want to have to explain anything to the young girl in that moment. All she wanted was to be left in her solitude in order for her to pull herself together.

"Why did we leave the village again?" Shizune asked while deliberately disobeying Tsunade's demands for her to return to the tent.

Tsunade shook her head and repeated what she said before, "Just go back to bed."

Shizune took this as a sign that Tsunade didn't want to discuss anything. Of course Shizune wanted to go back to the place of her birth but she made the decision to follow wherever Tsunade led without complaining. Tsunade took it upon herself to take in Shizune when she needed a home and a guardian so the least Shizune could do was to stick with her. How horrible it would be if Shizune decided to leave Tsunade now? No, she wouldn't do it. She owed her life to Tsunade and therefore would follow her until the end of her days.

The young girl took her hand off of Tsunade's shoulder and vacated to the tent. She laid in her sleeping bag until her eyes grew heavy and eventually she fell asleep. She wasn't sure what exactly happened between her mentor and Jiraiya that resulted in Tsunade becoming so sad, but whatever it was, it would take some time before Tsunade would be willing to talk about it. Until then she vowed to herself to keep quiet about the situation for Tsunade's sake. She had no idea where they would go from there but she found it comforting to know that she would always be with Tsunade. She would be there for her no matter what because when she needed someone, Tsunade was there for her.

* * *

It has been a week since Tsunade's unexpected departure from the village. At first Jiraiya was consumed with grief but now his initial feelings were replaced by anger. Anger directed towards Tsunade. He believed that he has been nothing but kind to her and as a result she should treat him well, but instead she left the village and took his heart with her. All his tears were dried up so he hadn't any more to shed over Tsunade and her constant unfair acts of breaking his heart over and over again until he could no longer repair the damage. He deserved better and by all means he would find himself the happiness that he was starved of for so many years.

He had no idea where this happiness would come from but he was going to search for it no matter what. No time was wasted before he found himself in the most popular bar in the village one night drowning himself in some heavy alcohol. He drank because he wanted to feel happy and he drank to try to forget about Tsunade. One drink turned into four and soon he was stone cold drunk. He made a spectacle of himself by hopping up on the bar itself and dancing to nothing but the random music that was playing inside his head. People laughed at his antics but one particular woman was turned on by his recklessness. Her name was Tsukimi and Jiraiya was attracted by her hour glass figure and bountiful cleavage. It was quite a coincidence that she looked like Tsunade for she also had blonde hair but it was cut low just above her shoulders. Even their names were similar.

He wasn't expecting it, but before he knew it he accompanied Tsukimi to her apartment and soon started to kiss her passionately as she worked on removing his clothing. She was wearing a simple, tight dress that left little to the imagination as her rather large accents were popping out of the neckline. She broke away from their kiss and lifted her dress over her head. She was now standing before him completely in the nude and he couldn't help but take advantage of the situation and make love to each and every part of her body. She seemed to be enjoying it as she called his name multiple of times throughout the night. Jiraiya didn't have any feelings whatsoever for this woman and he was certain that she didn't feel anything for him either. They were just using each other for pleasure and they did exactly that all night long.

Jiraiya woke up that morning wrapped in the unfamiliar woman's embrace. He groaned as he went into a sitting position for he had a splitting headache and felt nothing but nausea. He overdid it that night with all the drinking and as a result, he was sick and made the mistake to sleep with a woman that he didn't even know. He pushed Tsukimi's head off of his covered lap and made his way to the bathroom where he threw up countless of times in the toilet. It was as if he spent the entire morning with his head down in the bowl and never once did Tsukimi wake up from her slumber to offer him medication or even hold his hair back to prevent it from getting tangled in the mess coming from his mouth. He emptied his stomach contents until nothing more was left and wobbly stepped in the shower to wash himself up. He didn't care that the woman didn't give him permission to use her shower. Instead he did what he had to do without any remorse.

His shower ended quickly for he felt too dizzy to stand any longer so he reached for the only available towel in the bathroom, dried himself off and located his clothes that were scattered all over the room. He was ready to leave and yet Tsukimi was still asleep. Suddenly there was a knocking on the door and before he knew it, the door swung open and there stood a rather tall man with a thick black beard.

"Who the hell are you?" He asked in a deep, almost frightening voice.

"I'm ummm, the plumber." Jiraiya lied. It seemed as if this man was somehow involved with Tsukimi and the last thing Jiraiya needed was a jealous boyfriend trying to kill him.

"Oh." He said and then noticed Tsukimi fast asleep. She was covered by a thin sheet which made it quite obvious that she was naked, "Why is my girlfriend sleeping naked? How the hell did you get in here?"

"I have no idea why she's asleep in that condition sir." Jiraiya started, "Your girl told me that if nobody answered the door I should just open it with the spare key. I did as I was told then fixed the toilet." He lied and started to walk towards the door.

"Tell me something." The man said and caused Jiraiya to turn around to face him, "You think my girlfriend was cheating on me with some scum?"

This man was obviously not from the Leaf Village. If he was he would have known Jiraiya and then would automatically realize that his plumber act was a blatant lie. Jiraiya was more than glad that this man was a tourist, "I have no way of knowing that sir." He said, "I should be on my way now. I have many toilets to clog."

"Here ya go." He said as he dug in his pocket and slapped a few dollars into Jiraiya's hand, "Thanks for fixing my toilet."

"N-No problem." Jiraiya said then quickly left the apartment. He didn't want to take the money but it would have been too suspicious if he refused it. That man basically paid Jiraiya for sleeping with his girlfriend. He wasn't proud of it but Jiraiya decided to stuff the money in his pocket and head home to sober up.

It took him longer than usual to get home. He was a stumbling, hungover mess. Everybody who was on the streets during the time he was walking home stopped what they were doing to watch the remaining Sannin in the village stumble all the way to his apartment building. It was a disgrace but nobody held it against him. They all knew that he almost died when he tried to stop Orochimaru so they sympathized with him. However, they were all wondering why he was so hungover but they knew that their answer would never come. He made it home in one peace and as soon as he stepped into his small apartment, he plopped himself down on his bed. As he did that, he felt as if the room was spinning out of control. It was the worst feeling in the world so he simply closed his eyes and tried to tell himself over and over again that the room was not spinning.

A knock on his door interrupted him from falling asleep. He was in no mood for company so he placed his pillow over his head and tried to ignore the annoying knocking sounds. Eventually they stopped but then he felt an unwanted presence in his house. Whoever was knocking on the door was now in the apartment with him. He angrily threw the pillow off his head and shot up in his bed to come face to face with his intruder. He became extremely dizzy as he did that but when his eyes focused he recognized his visitor to be Minato.

He groaned loudly and plopped himself on his bed once again, "What are you doing in here kid?"

"You didn't answer the door so I opened it with the spare key I found under the doormat." Minato confessed and moved so that he was standing right beside Jiraiya's bed.

"Remind me to find a better hiding spot for my spare key."

"Kushina told me that she saw you walking home. She said that you were stumbling a lot like you're hungover or something." Minato said with nothing but concern in his voice.

"Your girlfriend is right kid, I'm hungover. Give her a golden star on the chart for recognizing that." Jiraiya said sarcastically and pressed the pillow down harder on his head.

"She's just trying to help."

"Whatever." He grumbled.

"Did you take any medication for your hangover?"

"If I did I wouldn't be feeling so terrible."

Minato didn't hesitate before he went into the bathroom to retrieve some medication for headaches and nausea from the medicine cabinet over the sink. He then poured a glass of water and handed the medicine as well as the glass to Jiraiya.

"This will help you." Minato assured him as he placed the pills in his palm.

Jiraiya plopped the capsules in his mouth and swallowed them with the aid of some water, "Thanks kid."

"No problem." Minato said, "Want some coffee? It'll help with the hangover."

"Maybe later. Right now I just want to lay down." Jiraiya said and laid on his back in bed. The dizziness he felt was slowly but surely starting to go away. He made a mental note to never get that drunk again.

"So why did you go out and get wasted?" Minato asked curiously, "Is all of this still about Orochimaru and the fact that you couldn't save him from going to the bad side?"

"No I've gotten over that." Jiraiya assured the boy, "The reason for me going out to get drunk is a completely different situation that I'm not willing to talk about right now."

"But why?"

"You know, that coffee is sounding amazing right now. How about you go and make me some?"

Minato realized that Jiraiya really didn't want to talk about his current situation so he decided to leave him be, "Cream and sugar?"

"Nope just black."

"Fine." Minato said and went to the kitchen to prepare his sensei's coffee.

After Jiraiya drank his coffee, Minato decided to leave him alone in order to train. Jiraiya was somewhat happy for the solitude he was left in. He had a lot of thinking to do and needed time and quiet in order to do so. However, he was currently feeling like the living dead so he decided to take a much needed nap until he was back to his normal self.

He slept for what seemed like forever and woke up when it was late at night. He was still a little sleepy but he had a clear mind. He was now in the mental capacity to evaluate his situation and try to come up with answers.

Getting drunk and sleeping with Tsukimi was not something that he was expecting to happen. That was not what he wanted to be doing for the rest of his life. Sleeping with women he barely knew would have sounded perfect to him a few years ago, but now he just didn't want to do that. When Jiraiya was younger the great elder toad prophesied that he would travel the world and write books and yet, he hasn't done that. In fact, the thought of becoming an author didn't cross his mind until now. Perhaps that was his true calling in life.

Traveling the world to find his destiny obviously meant that he had to leave the village. All his life he has lived in the Leaf Village and this would be the first time he would ever actually leave. He would have to leave everything behind and that was something that he didn't quite think about. It had to be done though. He couldn't just remain in the village and wilt away to nothing. No, he had to find his destiny and if that meant leaving behind everything he knew, he would do just that.

The following morning, Jiraiya found himself in the Hokage's office. He knew that Sarutobi would not be amused to hear of his new plans, but he had to do this for himself. Sarutobi was wearing an expression that was hard to read. Jiraiya had no idea if he was angry or unamused, but he was certain that Sarutobi knew exactly what he was in there to tell him.

"Say what you have to say Jiraiya. I'm very busy." Sarutobi said in an uninterested tone.

"Remember when I told you about the dream that the great elder toad had about me?" Jiraiya asked but received no answer from his mentor, "Well, he told me that I would travel the world and write books."

"Where are you getting at Jiraiya?" Sarutobi interrupted. In reality, he was dreading what Jiraiya came here to tell him. In his mind he knew what was coming, but never did he prepare himself for this.

"I want to leave the village." Jiraiya said.

There was a long, silent pause. Sarutobi's eyes were now closed and Jiraiya was just staring at him waiting on an answer. After what seemed like an eternity of silence, Sarutobi opened his eyes and spoke up.

"Why must all of my students leave me?" The old man wondered out loud, "First my only female student Tsunade, then Orochimaru, and now you." He said sorrowfully, "You three made up the Legendary Sannin, you were a team and now you are all separated. Orochimaru is our enemy now and Tsunade has her own reasons for leaving. Now you want to go find your destiny without realizing that it was already found. You're a ninja of the Leaf. That is your destiny."

"I'm not sure about that sensei." Jiraiya disagreed, "I need to do this for myself. I need this."

"If this has something to do with Tsunade-"

"No it doesn't. This has nothing to do with her. I just want to find my true destiny." Jiraiya explained, "I'll travel the world and write novels then one day, I'll return."

"Is that a promise or just empty words?"

"That's a promise."

"There's nothing I can do or say to stop you. That's obvious. I couldn't stop Tsunade and therefore I can't stop you." Sarutobi said, "Go ahead."

"Thanks sensei." Jiraiya said and proceeded to walk towards the door.

"Jiraiya." Sarutobi called out to him and stopped him in his tracks.

"Yes sensei?" He asked while turning around to face the old man.

"I'll miss you..."

Jiraiya instantly felt bad for leaving. He didn't want to leave his sensei but it had to be done. He had to find his destiny, "I'll miss you too."

Without another word, the toad sage turned around and exited the room. He wasn't sure if this would be the last time he would ever see his sensei. Hopefully, he would see him again.

As soon as Jiraiya left the Hokage mansion, he headed towards the training field. He was almost certain that Minato would be there training. That boy was so dedicated to his dream of becoming a great Hokage and that was something that made Jiraiya absolutely proud. It was going to be difficult to say goodbye to his student, but there was no way that he could leave without seeing Minato.

As expected, Minato was training in the training field with Kushina Uzumaki. The pair made a perfect couple and definitely complemented each other. Minato was the quiet, polite one while Kushina was the loud, fiery one. They were only teenagers but they shared a very good relationship. People older than them weren't as mature in their relationships as they were.

Jiraiya approached the two young ninjas and when he did, Kushina ran towards him and wrapped her slender arms around his body.

"Hi Jiraiya sensei!" She smiled, "Are you here to train Minato?"

"I'm actually not Kushina." Jiraiya said and patted her head.

"What's up sensei?" Minato asked as he walked towards his master and Kushina.

Jiraiya looked at Minato and through his eyes he silently told him that they needed to talk in private. It was so hard to say goodbye to Minato that Jiraiya didn't want to show any vulnerability in Kushina's presence.

"Would you excuse us for a little bit Kushina?" Minato asked. He obviously hit the silent message from Jiraiya.

"Why? What am I gonna do here all by myself while you two are off talking?" She asked in her usual spunky tone.

"How about you make us something to eat?" Jiraiya suggested but received a hit in the head from the spunky red head.

"I'm not your damn maid!" She shouted and folded her arms, "I'll just sit here and wait until you two are done talking." She declared and immediately sat on the ground with her legs folded.

"Let's go under that tree sensei." Minato said nervously due to the fact that he was frightened by Kushina's outburst. He walked hurriedly over to the tree and Jiraiya followed him, "So what did you want to talk about?"

"I came here to tell you that I'll be leaving the village." Jiraiya said.

"Are you going on a mission?"

"No, I'm leaving for good." He started, "I'll travel and write books. I need to do this to start over and find my true destiny."

There was a short pause before Minato randomly hugged his mentor, "If that's what you need to do for yourself then go ahead. I'm not going to stop you just because I'm going to miss you." Minato said as he pulled away from Jiraiya.

"Minato..."

"You were like the father I never had." Minato confessed, "I guess I'm lucky because on that day four years ago when you came to the Academy to meet your assigned student, it was me. That day was the beginning of you and me and I'll never forget it." He smiled and wiped tears that refused to fall from his blue eyes, "Just don't take too long to come back."

"I won't. Perhaps when I come back you'll be the Hokage." Jiraiya said without a doubt in his mind.

"I really hope so."

"Continue to train hard and I guarantee that you will become not only the Hokage but the best Hokage that this village has ever seen."

"That's impossible sensei. We all know that the First was the best."

"Well then, you'll just have to settle for second best."

Jiraiya ruffled the boy's spiky blonde hair and said, "Take care of Kushina. She's a wonderful girl."

Minato nodded his head, "I will."

Jiraiya left the boy standing under the tree and before he walked off of the training field, he said goodbye to Kushina and told her to take care of Minato and always encourage him to do his best. He loved those two with all his heart and would genuinely miss them, but he had to do what he had to do for his own personal development.

Before he left the village, he went home. He packed lightly for he would be traveling for a long period of time and therefore didn't need a heavy bag to hold him back. Only a few pieces of clothing, non perishable cans of food, and s few personal items would be necessary. He had no plans of really settling in any one place anyway. He would love the lifestyle of a nomad.

He was done packing and was just about to walk out of his house when he spotted the picture he took with his old team so many years ago sitting on top of the fire place. For some reason he felt compelled to walk towards it and when he did, he stopped for a second to admire it. He looked so young and happy back then and so did everybody else in the picture with the exception of Orochimaru. Even back then he didn't smile. Jiraiya remembered every detail about the day that picture was taken and would always cherish the memories of it. Without a thought, he picked up the picture with care and placed it in his bag. There was no way he would ever leave it. That photo held some of his fondest memories and because of that, it would follow him everywhere. Things were different now but he would always carry his childhood memories with him as long as that photo was in his possession.

He stood before the large gate and dared not to look back at his home. If he did, he would probably chicken out and not leave. He kept telling himself that this was the right thing to do and because of that, he found the will within him to walk out of the village. He didn't know where he would go or if he would ever find his destiny, but he had to try.

* * *

**Hi Guys! **

**We're at chapter 12 already? Wow! It seems like it was just yesterday I started to write this. **

**So I have the next nine chapters thought out in my head so it's just for me to type them out and release them to you guys, my amazing readers. I won't spoil anything for you though so if you wanna find out what happens from here on out, you gotta keep reading.**

**As usual, thanks for reading/reviewing/adding this to your alerts.**

**Until next time (which will be very soon)**

**Bye!**

**Xoxoxoxoxoxo **


	13. Chapter 13

Not too long after he left the village, he was was greeted by the darkness of the night sky. He continued to walk beneath the stars until he could go no longer. Exhaustion started to set in so he decided to set up his camp for the night. It would have been wise to set up camp before nightfall, but that was one thing that didn't cross his mind. He whipped out his flashlight and began to put up his small tent. When the tent was up he created a small fire by gathering some twigs and dried leaves and setting them ablaze. He sat before the fire that provided him with warmth and thought about the journey he had ahead of him. It would probably take him a few years to find his destiny. That would be the longest he would ever be away from the village. Solitude was in the near future for him. No familiar faces, no family, no friends, and nobody to love. It would be just him.

He was lonely yes, but leaving the village was not something that he regretted. It was time for him to leave the past in the past along with all the hurt he experienced. He had to find a new life for himself and obtain the happiness that he so deserved. His true destiny was out there waiting on him. It was only for him to find it now.

Jiraiya sat there until the fire burnt out and he was left in complete darkness. The chill air caused cold bumps to emerge on his flesh, and forced him to seek out warmth in the comfort of his tent. Once in the tent he slipped off his clothing and dressed himself in comfortable pajama pants and a simple white, cotton shirt. He buried himself down in his warm sleeping bag and laid there waiting for sleep to claim him.

Hours passed and he was still wide awake listening to the chirping sounds of crickets and the rustling of leaves on the tree above his tent. The deafening silence was getting to him so much that he found himself longing for the noises he would hear around the village. The laughter of children, barking of dogs, and the chatter of village folk would ever be present in the village, but out in the wilderness he only had the thoughts in his head.

The morning sun rose and he still had not slept at all. Usually he would feel exhausted after not being able to sleep for the entire night, but surprisingly he was not tired at all. He hopped out of his sleeping bag and gathered his clothes in his arms before heading down to the nearby river to have himself a refreshing soak. The river was beautiful with it's cool, sparkling water. He felt a sense of tranquility as he discarded his clothes and lowered his body into the refreshing water. He stayed submerged from the neck down in the water until his flesh started to prune. He was in no rush to get out anytime soon, for he really had no place else to go. The cool water soaked into his core and left him completely at peace. An hour passed so he decided to emerge from the river and continue on his lengthy journey. His destination was not determined. He was would go wherever the wind would take him.

He returned to his campsite and packed up his belongings. He covered his tracks to avoid being found and within a few minutes, he was back on the dirt road walking into oblivion. He walked and walked until his feet became sore. He was hoping that he would end up in a small town soon, but all he could see around him was vegetation and zero signs of civilization. His heart sank every time he came across more bushes and trees on both sides of the road. He felt as if he would never come across a town or a village but eventually he did. It was a small, almost deserted town by the name of Tottori Town. It had a rustic, olden day appearance to it so Jiraiya knew right away that this was an old town. He walked through the deserted streets trying to find some place where he could stay for the night.

A two story building sat in the corner of a dead end road and had a flickering sign resting on the roof that said 'motel' although one could mistaken it for 'mote' since the 'l' was not functioning as it should. Jiraiya let out a sigh of relief and entered the building. He was greeted by an unpleasant looking, skinny lady with wild blue hair and an 'I don't care' expression written all over her face. The lobby of the motel wasn't much to look at either. It was very unkept with it's dusty floors, furniture that looked like it was torn up by a cat, and flickering light structures. It was a mess. No wonder why Jiraiya was literally the only customer they had. If he wasn't so tired, he would have never stayed there.

"Who the hell are you and what do you want?" The lady a at the front desk asked while filing her rather long nails.

"I need a room for a couple of days." Jiraiya said.

The lady didn't even look up at him. She just continued to file her nails, "I hope you have some cash on ya. Sometimes broke ass people come in here asking me for a room with no intentions on paying. So cash first then we can talk about giving you a room."

Her rude behavior caused Jiraiya to slam his fist down on her desk which made her stop filing her nails to look up at the sage, "What the fuck man?!" She shouted.

"I'm your damn customer and your behavior isn't going to get you any business. Now give me a damn room key or I'll take my money elsewhere!" Jiraiya shouted with zero tolerance for her behavior. He was exhausted and therefore had no time for foolishness. He just wanted a place to rest for a couple of days so that he could determine where he would go from there.

"Fine!" She said while digging around in her draw for a key, "Here." She slammed the key on the desk before Jiraiya and held out her hand for her payment, "You got room three."

Jiraiya reached into his pocket and pulled out some dollars before slamming the cash in her hand and picking up his room key. Without another word he walked down the dark hall to his room. When he entered the room he was appalled. It was small, the bed wasn't made and the only lighting was a small lamp that sat on the bedside table. It was by far the worst motel he had ever stayed in, but he couldn't complain for it was better than sleeping out in the cold. He threw his bag in the corner of the room and retrieved a notebook and a pen before sitting down at the small wooden desk. He was about to start writing his first book but stumbled across writer's block. He had no idea what to write about. No ideas popped into his mind or anything. How was he supposed to travel the world and write books if he had nothing to write about?

He grumbled and tried to write something, but every time he tried to come up with an idea, he would just end up crumpling the paper and throwing it in the corner of the room. Soon the crumpled papers formed a small mountain in the corner and Jiraiya could not have been crankier. He was supposed to be an author and yet nothing worth writing could come to his mind. The entire purpose of him leaving the village was to write and find his destiny, but so far he wasn't off to a great start. He threw his pen down and grabbed his coat before storming out of his room in search of a bar of some sort. He needed to drown himself in alcohol. Perhaps that would help him to come up with an idea for his first novel.

* * *

Jiraiya was walking over to the only bar in town when he heard the shrill screams of a female. He moved closer and closer to the screams until he saw three men harassing a woman who was about the same age as Jiraiya.

"Just leave me alone!" She shouted with tears forming in her eyes.

"Come on don't be like that." One of the men said, "Three is better than one you know."

"I don't want any of you!" She declared.

"She's being difficult boys." Another one of the men said, "Maybe we have to force her to have some fun with us." He said in a seductive tone while he stepped closer to the girl.

The men were obviously drunk and trying to take advantage of the innocent girl. Jiraiya knew that it wasn't any of his business, but what kind of person would he be if he just simply allowed those men to take advantage of that girl's body? He was more than capable of stopping them so without any hesitation, he stepped before the men.

"Leave that girl alone." Jiraiya demanded.

"Who the hell are you?" The third man asked while looking Jiraiya up and down as if he was an insignificant speck. The rest of the men looked at Jiraiya as if he was crazy to actually have the gall to try and stop them, "Stay out of this. It isn't any of your business."

"It doesn't matter who I am or if it's my business of not, but I'm not going to allow you to hurt this innocent girl."

"Oh yeah?" The first man said condescendingly, "And just what are you gonna do about it?"

"Stop you." Jiraiya simply said, "Even if I have to use force, I won't let you touch her."

"This asshole just wants that fine piece of ass to himself!" The third man said, "Let's beat him to a bloody pulp guys!"

"No!" The girl screamed.

"Wait!" The second man said and stopped the other two, "This guy looks familiar." He said and then tried to determine exactly who Jiraiya was before realization dawned on him, "He-He's one of the Legendary Sannin. He helped to end the war. We don't wanna mess with the likes of him. He-He'll kill us!" He said and suddenly became very frightened just to be in Jiraiya's presence.

"Are you kidding me? He's one of the Sannin?!"

"Forget this! Let's get the hell out of here!"

The men ran away like frightened puppies and left the girl unharmed. The girl ran into Jiraiya's arms and hugged him so tight that he swore that his circulation was being cut off.

"Thank you so much!" She said through tears, "If you didn't come when you did I don't know what would have happened to me. How can I ever repay you?"

"No repayment is necessary." Jiraiya said. He wanted nothing from the girl. He didn't even want her thanks. He saved her because it was only the right thing to do.

"Are you sure?" She asked, "I don't have much but whatever it is that you want, I'll try my best to get it for you." She assured him while pulling away from him.

Jiraiya shook his head, "No, you don't have to get me anything. But promise me one thing."

"What?"

"Don't walk around at night by yourself. Especially not in a town like this. A beautiful lady such as yourself is a target for scum like them."

She blushed a bit for she was clearly flattered by Jiraiya, "What's your name?" She asked, "I would like to know of the name of the man who saved me."

"Jiraiya."

"Jiraiya." She repeated, tasting it on her tongue, "That name suits you."

"And you? What's your name?"

"Ayame." She replied with a smile.

"Well Ayame, I was just about to get a drink. Would you like to join me or do you want me to walk you home?" Jiraiya asked. Initially he wasn't in the mood for company, but there was something about Ayame that made him want to spend time with her. She was beautiful. She had emerald green eyes that one could get lost in, shoulder length auburn hair that was kept down, and ivory skin. She wasn't very chesty, but regardless she was stunning. It was no wonder why those men wanted to take advantage of her. Jiraiya however, would never do that.

Ayame's eyes lit up with joy, "I would love to have a drink with you Jiraiya, the man who saved me."

"Great." He smiled and took hold of her hand, "Let's go then."

The pair went into the bar together. He didn't understand why, but he felt a spark of happiness ignite within him when he held Ayame's soft hand. Perhaps it was fate that led him to her. Maybe just maybe, Ayame was a key element in finding his destiny.

* * *

Five days passed and Jiraiya was still in Tottori Town. He became fast friends with Ayame and she was the one and only reason why he was still situated in that small town. They hung out together often and learned more about each other with each and every passing moment. Jiraiya learned that Ayame was born and raised in Tottori Town to poor parents. Her mother worked as a maid in a rich person's home that was two hours away from the town, while her father was a carpenter. They worked so hard everyday just to be able to provide for Ayame, and because of that she grew up to be a very appreciative, kind, gentle person. Her parents died not too long after her thirteenth birthday from influenza and ever since then she has been on her own. She was now twenty three years old and working as a waitress in a small diner on the other side of town. She obviously had a rough life and because of that Jiraiya felt sorry for her. She had every reason in the world to be bitter and hate life itself and yet, she was grateful for every breath of air she took. She was a person who came along every once in a lifetime. She was a gem. He wanted to be there for her and help her in whatever way he could. Furthermore, he felt attracted to her not just because of her looks, but because of her gentle nature.

Ayame felt a special connection to Jiraiya ever since that day when fate brought them together. She called him her hero because really and truly, she would have been raped and or killed without him. She was so grateful to him and wanted nothing more than to get to know him. On her day off of work, she invited Jiraiya out for a picnic. To her excitement, he agreed so she packed a picnic basket of cheese sandwiches and some fruit. It wasn't much but it was all she could afford so it had to do.

Jiraiya met Ayame in a grassy field just outside of town. She was wearing a short, floral dress and looked absolutely beautiful.

"Hi Jiraiya." She smiled and gave him a hug before she sat on the blanket that she set out for the two of them.

"Hello Ayame." He said and then noticed the area she set up for them, "You really didn't have to do this."

"I wanted to." She assured him, "Please sit." She patted the space beside her and he sat down.

"You look very pretty Ayame." He complimented her while noticing how the sun lit up her emerald green eyes and auburn hair. She looked radiant and Jiraiya couldn't take his eyes off of her.

"Thank you." She blushed and then dug into the basket to get him a cheese sandwich, "Here you go. I made it myself."

"You shouldn't have."

She shook her head, "This is my way of thanking you for saving me that night. Please accept it."

He nodded his head and took the sandwich. They ate in silence for a while before curiosity got the better of Ayame.

"May I ask you a question Jiraiya?"

"Sure."

"That night when I was attacked, one of the men said that you were one of the Legendary Sannin. Then they became afraid and ran away from you. Why?"

Jiraiya was hoping that she wouldn't ask that question, but there was no way that he could keep anything from her. After all, she was so sweet and the reason why Jiraiya has no left the town.

"I'm from the Village Hidden in the Leaves." He started, "I'm a ninja who fought in the Great War with my team and because we managed to survive and played a significant role in our victory in the war, we were named the Legendary Sannin. I don't mean to brag, but those scum bags were afraid of me because I'm one of the strongest ninja alive."

"You're a ninja?"

"Precisely"

"Then why aren't you in your village?"

There was no way that he would get into details with her no matter how much he felt like he could trust her. Why would he bring up his old crush to his new crush? No, he wouldn't tell him about Tsunade. As far as he was concerned, she was wiped off the face of the planet from the moment she left him again.

"I-I left to find my destiny."

"Your destiny?"

"Yes. It's just something that I need to do."

There was a silent pause. Ayame was obviously trying to allow the information she just received to sink in. She had no idea why he felt the need to find his destiny away from his village, but she was still interested in him.

"I would like to help you with that."

"R-Really?"

"Yes." She nodded her head and smiled, "You saved me. I'm forever indebted to you. It's the least I can do. Furthermore..." She moved closer to him and placed her palm on his cheek and stared into his obsidian orbs, "In your eyes I see sadness. I want to erase that and replace it with happiness. You're a good man and therefore you deserve to be happy. I feel safe around you. If you let me, I will make you happy because in that moment when you saved me from those men, you didn't just save me from rape. You saved me from my solitude."

"Ayame..."

Before he could utter another word, she pressed her lips to his. It was just a small peck on the lips but it allowed Jiraiya's heart to soar. He felt love and happiness in that small kiss. It wasn't brought on by alcohol nor pent up tension. It came from an honest place in his heart and because of that, tears emerged in his eyes.

"You're my hero." She smiled and wiped away his tears, "I don't know what happened in your life, but I'll make it all better if you want me to."

"Oh Ayame." He said and hugged her close to his heart, "I would love if you could try."

"Then I'll try." She whispered in his ear and they broke away from each other once again. His lips crashed onto hers and they continued to kiss each other until she was laying on the blanket with him on top of her. They didn't dare to go any further than that. They were willing to take things slow and see where there relationship would take them.

Finally, Jiraiya didn't think about Tsunade. His mind was filled with thoughts of Ayame and the fact that she came into the picture when he was in one of the lowest points in his life. He would be forever grateful to her because of that. Fate brought them together, and he hoped with all his heart that fate would keep them together.

* * *

**Don't kill me.**

**It's time for Jiraiya to be happy don't you think? **

**Expect some twists and turns and surprises from here on out!**

**Thanks for reading and remember to review.**

**Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo**


	14. Chapter 14

Tsunade walked into the bakery feeling as if she would collapse at any given moment. She was feeling terrible and should probably be at home instead of work, but there was money to be made and she needed that money to take care of herself and Shizune. Her head was tormented by a splitting headache and she felt so nauseas that she swore she would throw up at any moment. It must have been the stomach flu and that was something that could be cured easily. However for now, she had to work.

Koko, her boss, was a kind lady. She had rosy cheeks and a plump body. She genuinely cared for Tsunade because she knew of her situation. When Tsunade was in a desperate need for a job, KoKo was there for her. When Tsunade walked in the bakery she looked terrible. She wore an expression of agony on her face, her hair was messy, and she looked pale. She watched as Tsunade placed her apron on her body and took her post at the cash register, and wondered what was wrong with her. Without any hesitation, she approached Tsunade and placed her gentle hand upon her weary shoulder.

"Tsunade dear, what's wrong?" She asked with all the sympathy in the world in her tone of voice.

"N-Nothing." Tsunade lied and unintentionally wrapped her arm around her flat stomach.

"Something is wrong Tsunade. Please tell me."

Tsunade couldn't lie to her boss. She didn't have any friends in that town, but for some reason she felt comfortable enough to confide in KoKo. Maybe it was due to her kind nature, or maybe Tsunade saw the aged woman as a kind of mother figure in her life. She was so gentle and calm and that is how her mother used to be. Tsunade sighed and looked at her boss.

"I'm just feeling a bit under the weather. It's no big deal." Tsunade said while trying her best not to throw up.

"Maybe you should go home and rest up." KoKo suggested but Tsunade violently shook her head in disapproval.

"No, I'm fine, really." She lied again, "I'll just drink some water and then I'll be as good as new."

Tsunade excused herself to the employee section of the bakery in the back room and poured herself a glass of chilled water. As if she was drinking some strong alcohol, she took tiny sips of the liquid while trying so hard not to empty her stomach contents. The last time she felt this nauseas was when she was on her last hangover. It was terrible.

Moments later, her glass was empty but her nausea was ever present. She could easily nurse herself back to health, but all her herbal remedies were stowed away in her medicine cabinet at home. She so foolishly forgot to medicate herself before she left because she was running late for work. When she got up that morning, she felt as if someday slammed her with millions of hard, concrete bricks. That feeling was the worst thing in the world. She wanted nothing more than to get rid of her stomach bug, but she would have to deal with it until work was over.

She emerged from the back room and regained her position at the cash register. Customers started to come in so she performed her duties by charging them for their pastries and handing the goods over to them. No matter how terrible she was feeling, she managed to put on a smile for the customers. To suppress her nausea, she took deep breaths and held her stomach. However, there was nothing she could do about her headache.

Customers came and customers went and Tsunade still continued to put on a brave face, suck it up, and work. KoKo was amazed at her persistence and without telling Tsunade, she added more money to her salary. She just felt as if Tsunade deserved it. Most people wouldn't have bothered to show up at work if they felt as sick as Tsunade, and yet she not only showed up, but still greeted the customers with a smile. That was truly admirable.

"Tsunade there are some cinnamon rolls in the oven, would you mind taking them out for me?" KoKo called from her office.

A wave of nausea hit Tsunade and prevented her from answering readily, but she took a deep breath and managed to answer her boss, "O-Okay."

"Are you okay? If you're not then I'll just do it." KoKo asked when she realized that Tsunade didn't answer right away and when she did, she sounded shaky.

"Y-Yeah, I'm fine." Tsunade lied, "I'll got get them now."

Tsunade made her way to the oven and placed the oven mitts on her hands before she retrieved the freshly baked cinnamon rolls from the oven. They were out and the sweet aroma of cinnamon filled the room. Once Tsunade smelled them, she felt so sick that holding her breath alone could not prevent her from throwing up. She quickly placed the rolls on the cooling table and dashed into the closest restroom to throw up. KoKo heard the commotion that she was making and ran to the bathroom as well to help Tsunade. She saw her employee bent over the toilet, throwing up her stomach contents. Without thinking, she held Tsunade's blonde hair away from the mess spewing out of her mouth and rubbed her back soothingly. When Tsunade was done, she sat on the bathroom floor, panting, and feeling as if she couldn't stand any longer.

"You should go home Tsunade." KoKo said while rubbing Tsunade's shoulder. "You'll still get paid for the day."

"That's not right. When I'm not here I shouldn't be paid." Tsunade panted, "Don't give me special treatment because I don't deserve it." She said and tried to stand but stumbled down, "Just give me a few minutes and I'll get back to work."

"No Tsunade. You're going home to rest. I'll even walk you home."

"But-"

"No buts. You're going and that's that."

KoKo helped Tsunade to her feet and placed a 'be back in ten minutes' sign on the bakery's door before she walked Tsunade home. As they were walking, KoKo draped Tsunade's arm around her shoulder to support her. Tsunade was so weak, but KoKo managed to her her home just before Tsunade couldn't manage to stand anymore. She helped Tsunade into her bed then covered her over with a warm blanket.

"Where do you keep your medicine?" She asked.

"In the bathroom in the medicine cabinet." Tsunade said while pointing to the bathroom.

KoKo went into the bathroom and opened the medicine cabinet. She was quite surprised to see so many medicines. She had no idea that Tsunade was a medical ninja because Tsunade never told her. The only thing she really knew about Tsunade was that she was in need of a job and adopted Shizune. She didn't know where she came from, but she chose not to ask questions.

She grabbed some medicine for nausea that she had no clue Tsunade made herself and handed it to the sick blonde.

"Take this, it's for nausea." She said and watched as Tsunade took the medication, "You have a lot of medicine."

"Yeah, I-I like to purchase a lot just incase I get sick or Shizune gets sick." She lied. The truth was that she made medicine for her own entertainment in her free time. There really wasn't anything else for her to do in a small town like the one she was currently living in. Furthermore, making medicine reminded her of the days when she used to do it for a living.

"That's good." KoKo said and then looked at her watch, "I have to go now. Take all the time you need to recover. And keep me updated about your condition."

"Okay."

"Get well soon." KoKo said and smoothed Tsunade's hair before leaving the blonde to recover on her own.

The medicine that Tsunade took wouldn't take too long to work. After all. She was the one who created it. Her plan was to wait for the medicine to kick in and then go straight back to work. She couldn't just lay there all day. She had a job to go to.

* * *

An hour passed and the medication did little to suppress her nausea. Something was wrong. Usually the medicine she made took no time at all to work. Taking another dose would simply be overdosing, and that was something that wouldn't be wise to do. After a few more minutes of laying in misery, she decided to check herself out to discover the reason why she was feeling so terrible. She focused her chakra to her palm, closed her eyes to focus, and then placed her hand on her stomach. No serious medical condition was seen, but something that she wasn't expecting at all showed up. She gasped and shot up into a sitting position. She started to hyperventilate because she couldn't believe what she just discovered.

"No, this- this can't be possible!" She said to herself in a panicked manner, "W-What day is it?" She wondered out loud and rushed out of her bedroom to look at the calendar in the kitchen. The calendar showed that it was the tenth of October and that meant that she was late for her monthly cycle, "Oh my God." She gasped and placed her hand on her stomach once again.

Laying in a tiny sac filled with amniotic fluid in her womb was a developing baby. She was pregnant. Her initial reaction wasn't one of complete joy and excitement, instead she was scared. Furthermore, there wasn't a doubt in her mind that Jiraiya was the father. He was the last man she slept with, and as a result of their carelessness, she ended up with child. What was she going to do? Was she going to keep the baby? Everything was just so confusing. She loved Jiraiya. She knew that for sure, but she was trying to get over her love for him and now she discovered that she was going to have his child. This would bond their lives together forever. She was sure that she was never going to see him again in her life and now something as life altering as having a baby had to come up and further confuse her.

"What am I going to do?" She whimpered and sunk to the floor. She brought her knees up to her chest and buried her face in the gap between her knees and chest, "How the hell am I going to have this baby when I swore to myself never to see it's father again?"

If she decided to keep the baby, how was she to provide for it? She could barely provide for herself and Shizune, so how in the hell would she be able to put food into another mouth or put clothes on another's back?

And what about Jiraiya? How was she going to tell him about her condition? She wasn't even sure if he wanted to have a baby. He was such a free spirit and the responsibilities of a child would just tie him down and make him miserable. She was put in such a difficult position, and all she wanted to do was to go back in time to prevent this mess from occurring.

The sound of the front door opening caused her to get up from the floor and try to look as if she didn't just discover something that would change her life forever. Shizune was home from school, but Tsunade decided not to mention anything about the pregnancy to her. She wasn't certain if she would keep it, and therefore there was no need for Shizune to know about it.

"Lady Tsunade, what are you doing home so early?" Shizune asked as she noticed Tsunade standing in the kitchen.

"I wasn't feeling very well at work today so my boss sent me home. I'm okay now though." Tsunade said while deliberately avoiding the fact that she was now an expectant mother.

"Are you sure?" Shizune asked, feeling concern for her master.

"Yes I'm sure." She lied, "How was school?"

"Okay." Shizune sighed, "I would much rather be going to the ninja academy though."

"I know Shizune, but you don't even need to go there. I've taught you all that you would have learned there anyway."

"I guess you're right."

"I am right." Tsunade agreed, "Now, go do your homework." She instructed and then vacated to the comfort of her room. She needed time to think, and she didn't wish to look panicked in front of Shizune. That would just bring up questions that she wasn't ready to answer.

Once in her room, Tsunade sat on her bed and placed her hand on her stomach to sense the baby within her. She created that baby with Jiraiya and now it was developing inside of her. In nine months, it will be born into the world and she would be left to raise it. But would she raise it alone or with the baby's father? She wasn't sure. Furthermore, she wasn't even sure if she would keep it. Everything was just so confusing. Never did she think that she would be in such a complicated position. Why did this have to happen to her?

A few hours later, Shizune was finished her homework and now knocking on Tsunade's door.

"Lady Tsunade, may I come in?" She asked respectfully and waited on permission to enter.

"Sure." Tsunade said and once again tried to hide the look of panic on her face.

Shizune came in the room with TonTon in her arms and sat on the bed beside Tsunade, "Are you sure you're okay?" She asked. It was obvious that Tsunade was hiding something from her, and she wanted to know what.

"Yes, I'm perfectly fine." She lied and looked at her watch to avoid any further conversation about whether she was alright or not, "It's dinner time." She stated, "I think I'll make some spaghetti. Are you okay with that?"

Shizune simply shrugged her shoulders, "I guess so."

"Great." Tsunade said as she rose to her feet, "I'll start making it right away." Tsunade rushed down to the kitchen to make dinner while leaving Shizune confused.

* * *

The following morning, Tsunade thankfully didn't feel as nauseous as she did the previous day. She put on her clothes and placed her apron over them and went off to work the same time Shizune went off to school. As she walked through the streets to get to the bakery, she saw a mother with her newborn baby. She couldn't help but think that in a couple of months that would be her, and that scared her. More than likely she would be a single mother. She just knew it. Jiraiya would never want to be held down. Her child, if she kept it, would be fatherless. It would grow up never knowing what it's father looked like or his personality. It would only know Tsunade. She couldn't imagine growing up without a father. She had both mother and father and she loved them both dearly. Her poor baby wouldn't have that luxury. In her heart she knew that Jiraiya didn't want to have anything to do with her. That was the sad truth.

As soon as Tsunade walked through the bakery's door she was greeted by KoKo.

"You're feeling better already?" She questioned.

"Yes, I'm fine now." She said and started to set up the cash register for the day.

KoKo suspected that something was wrong with her employee. Tsunade was like the daughter she never had, and all she wanted was for her to be alright, "Can I talk to you Tsunade?"

"Umm, okay, sure." Tsunade didn't know what her employer had in mind, but like the good employee she was, she followed KoKo to the back room to have their private conversation.

Once they were inside, KoKo locked the door and instructed Tsunade to sit down. She sat beside the blonde and looked straight into her hazel eyes, "You're pregnant aren't you." She said with a straight face.

Tsunade felt her heart beat increase. She didn't tell anybody about her condition, not even Shizune and yet KoKo knew, "How did you know?" She sighed.

"It was quite obvious Tsunade. You threw up yesterday and now you're as good as new today. How long have you known?"

"I just found out yesterday."

"Then why were you trying to hide it? And you don't seem to be very thrilled about it."

"It's... Complicated."

"Complicated? How so? Pregnancy is a great time in a woman's life. Who's the father? Is it someone in this town?"

"It's complicated because of the father." Tsunade started, "You see I've known him all my life and we were friends, but then we had sex and that only complicated things. I left him and now I'm pregnant with his baby. He probably hates me now and he'll hate me even more if I tell him about this baby. He likes to be free and unfettered and I just keep ruining his life."

"Is this person a good guy?"

She didn't even have to think about an answer to that question. Jiraiya was by far the best guy she has ever known. He was kind, gentle, and genuinely had her best interest at heart. He was more than just a good guy. He was a great guy, and Tsunade was foolish not to have realized that sooner, "He's an amazing guy." She confessed, "And I was so stupid to hurt him like I did."

"If he's that good of a guy then I'm sure he'll be happy about your pregnancy."

"Look, I don't even know if I'm going to keep it."

"What?" KoKo gasped, "Tsunade, just because you have a complicated relationship with the father doesn't give you the right to take away a chance at life from that innocent baby."

"It's not just that." Tsunade sighed, "I can't afford to have another mouth to feed. I can barely take care of myself and Shizune and the pig."

"Then I'll help you in whatever way I can."

"Why would you do that for me?"

"Because you're like the daughter I never had. I don't want you to suffer and because of that helping you is no problem for me."

"Thank you KoKo." Tsunade said with tears in her eyes. She wrapped her arms around KoKo's plump body and KoKo just held her as she cried.

KoKo was right. Taking the life of the innocent little baby growing inside of her would be criminal. It wasn't the baby's fault that she had such a complicated relationship with Jiraiya, nor did it ask to be conceived. Right then and there she made the decision to keep the baby and raise it to be a wonderful person. Somehow she would find the good in her situation, and with time she would learn to love the baby.

She continued work as usual for the day, and received regular breaks from KoKo. She used that free time to try to connect with her baby, but she found it hard to believe that another life was present in her body. The thought about someone inside of her was just strange to her. She didn't look pregnant nor did she feel pregnant, so it was hard to believe that she was actually with child. Perhaps the further along she went into her pregnancy, the more she would come to accept it. Hopefully then she would be able to connect with her baby.

A few hours later, work was over and she was free to go home. When she got home Shizune was already there, seated at the dining table doing her homework.

"Hi Lady Tsunade, how was work?" Shizune asked while still focusing on her homework.

"It was alright." Tsunade said as she moved closer to the raven haired girl and placed her hand on her head, "Doing homework?"

"Yep."

Tsunade made the decision to keep the baby so she thought that it was only right to tell Shizune. Perhaps if Shizune became excited about it, Tsunade would become excited as well.

"Shizune, I have something to tell you."

Shizune directed her attention from her work to the blonde standing beside her, "What is it?"

"It turns out that I'm going to have a baby."

"You are!" Shizune squealed happily and squeezed Tsunade with a tight hug.

"I am." Tsunade giggled and Shizune pulled away to look at her mentor.

"Is it a boy or a girl?"

"I don't know yet. It's too early to tell."

"Does this mean that I'm going to be a big sister?"

"Of course."

"I always wanted a brother or a sister!" Shizune smiled and hugged Tsunade again. Only when a thought came to her mind did she pull away, "So wait." She started, "Who's the baby's daddy? Everybody has a mother and father. So where's your baby's father?"

This was the one and only question Tsunade was dreading to hear. She knew that eventually it would come up, but she didn't think that Shizune would ask it so soon.

"Ummm." Tsunade mumbled and gathered enough courage to answer her burning question, "It's Jiraiya."

"You're going to have a baby with Master Jiraiya!" Shizune gasped, "But that means that you two made love. You explained it all to me a while ago remember. So are you two in love? If you are then why did we leave the village?"

She was asking so many questions that Tsunade wasn't willing to answer. Tsunade herself didn't even know the answers to some of them. How was she going to supply Shizune with an answer?

"Look Shizune." Tsunade started, "It's true that Jiraiya is the father and maybe I do love him, but right now, we have to be apart."

"But if you're having his baby then you'll have to tell him. Therefore you can't be apart."

"Shizune..."

"You are going to tell him right? He is the father after all."

Shizune was right. How could she possibly keep something like this away from Jiraiya? He was the father of her unborn child and therefore he had a right to know. This baby was half her and half him. No matter how she felt about the situation, this baby would bond her life and Jiraiya's life together forever. But was that a good thing, or a bad thing?

"I'll tell him after the first trimester of my pregnancy." Tsunade said, "That's three months from now."

"Why are you waiting so long?"

"Miscarriages are most common in the first trimester Shizune." Tsunade explained, "Furthermore, I need time to put my words together. Don't worry, I'm going to tell him."

She had three months to prepare herself to tell Jiraiya about the pregnancy. It would be a long three months. Somehow she would have to allow the news to settle in well enough before she approached Jiraiya, and when she does, just how is she going to tell him? What if he found someone else to love? What if he already stared a family? Would there be any room left in his life and heart for Tsunade and the baby? There were so many things that she was worried about, but eventfully she had to face her fears. She was having this baby and like it or not, the father was going to know about it.

* * *

**So I told you that there were twists and turns coming up. This is just the first one though.  
Thank you so so much for reading and reviewing.  
Until next time.  
Bye!  
Xoxoxoxoxoxo**


	15. Chapter 15

Jiraiya sat there at the small desk in the apartment staring at a blank sheet of paper. It has been that way for the past several days, and so far he was nowhere near any progress with his first novel. An idea wasn't popping into his mind, and often times he found himself thinking about the series of events that occurred in his life over the past few years. It has been rough, but finally he found happiness in Ayame. So if he was so happy, why couldn't he think of anything, even a single letter to write on the paper before him that seemed to be mocking him?

Ayame walked up beside Jiraiya and placed her hands on his shoulders and peered down onto the blank paper, "Still no progress huh?"

He put his pen on the table and rubbed his temples wearily, "I got nothing." He sighed.

"Maybe you just need a change of scenery to get some inspiration." She said, "How about we go out to dinner and hang out in town for a bit?"

"I think I'm going to need more of a permanent change of scenery." He admitted.

"What do you mean?"

He patted his lap to silently tell Ayame to have a seat on it. She walked over to him and sat on his lap while wrapping her slender arms around his neck. He didn't know how he was going to break the news for her, but he had to find someway of saying it. He was thinking about it for quite some time, and he wasn't sure if Ayame would want any part of it, but he needed to do this for himself.

"I need to leave town." He started, "I believe that the further I get away from the village, the more I will forget about my past. Perhaps then I'll be able to write my first novel and find my destiny."

"Was your past that terrible? Why would you want to forget?" She asked with nothing but concern in her voice. Jiraiya never told him about the things the happened to him in the past. She had no idea that his childhood crush broke his heart multiple of times, he almost died in war, and the fact that his best friend betrayed him and almost murdered him. How was he supposed to tell her all of that without having the pain that he experienced come back?

"It wasn't very pretty."

"Tell me." She said. As his girlfriend, she wanted to know about the pain he experienced. Perhaps if she knew, she would be able to help him through it.

"It's not a nice story Ayame. Are you sure you want to know?"

"Of course I do." She said with a slight smile, "I care about you so I would like to know what happened to you. I only want to help, but Jiraiya I can't help you if I don't know anything about you."

She was such a sweet person and she genuinely cared for Jiraiya. How could he refuse to tell her about his past?

"Okay." He sighed, "When I was a little kid I had a huge crush on my teammate. She never liked me though. In fact she used to beat me up and call me terrible names, but I still loved her. Four years ago her brother died in war so I was there to comfort her and help her through that hard time. The day of the funeral I got everything that I wanted from her. We had sex, but when I wanted to establish a romantic relationship with her, she ran away from me and told me that all she wanted was comfort. I was heartbroken and I tried to fall out of love with her, but I just couldn't. A few days after, we were sent to war by our Hokage. I almost died, but she saved me. She left the village and I didn't see or hear from her for four years. She came back into my life when my best friend and former teammate betrayed us and almost killed me. She saved me from death again, and to thank her I invited her for dinner. We went back to my apartment for a cup of tea and to my surprise she apologized for using me. I was so happy that she finally told me sorry and we ended up having sex. The following morning I woke up alone. She left me again. At first I was sad, but now I'm mad at her. I thought we were finally on the same page and yet she left me again. I deserved better than that. I deserved to be happy. When I met you, I found that happiness. So thank you for that Ayame. I'll always be grateful for that."

Ayame let the words he spoke sink in. He wasn't lying when he said that his story wasn't a pretty one. Having his heart broken multiple times, two near death experiences, and being betrayed by his best friend could not have been easy to go through. She wanted nothing more than to bring him the happiness that he was starved of for so many years.

"I'm so sorry that all of that happened to you."

"Don't apologize. None of it was your fault."

"So where is this woman now?" She asked.

"I have no idea."

Jiraiya honestly had no clue where Tsunade was or what was happening to her. As far as he was concerned, she was out of his life for good.

"So moving further and further way from your village will help you to forget about your past?"

"I think so."

"I want to help you." She started, "But I don't want to leave this town."

"How can you help me if you're not with me?"

"I was born and raised here Jiraiya." She said and rose to her feet, "I've had many disappointments in my life, but never once did this town disappoint me. When my parents died the people of this town were there to help me through it, and when I was in need of a job and a home, they provided for me. How can I leave here?"

"Look Ayame." He started, "I know what this town means to you so I'm not going to ask you to pick up and leave all that you've ever known..." He said sadly, "But I'm going to leave. I need to find my destiny."

"Then maybe I wasn't meant to be in your destiny."

"Maybe so."

"I don't regret ever meeting you." She said with tears brewing in her eyes, "And I really do care about you, but I just can't leave. This is my home."

"I understand why you don't want to leave Ayame." He said as he walked towards her and wiped away the tears from her eyes, "I don't regret meeting you either. You've given me happiness. I'll never forget you." He placed one last kiss on her cheek and proceeded to pack his things.

Ayame watched as he put his belongings into his bag with teary eyes. She wanted nothing more than for him to stay with her and build a life with him, but he had to find his destiny. Obviously it could not be found in the current town he was in. He had to do what he had to do. Who was she to stop him just because she didn't want to be alone?

"You don't have to leave so soon." She said through tears.

"The faster I leave the better it will be." He was finished packing so he placed the bag on his back and headed towards the door.

"I'm going to miss you." She said softly and placed her hand on his back while staring down at the ground.

"Me too." He said as he turned around to face her for the last time, "You're going to be okay." He wrapped his arms around her and embraced her. She was so sad and he felt terrible for leaving her.

"I hope you find all that you're looking for."

"I hope so too." He stopped embracing her and opened the door, "Farewell."

She watched as he walked through the door and tried her best not to fall apart. She enjoyed the short time that she had with him. She would never forget it, "Goodbye Jiraiya." She whispered before the closing the door. She was alone once again. She only hoped that Jiraiya could find the happiness that he so deserved.

* * *

It took him a few days of long, tiring travel, but he was finally at a place far away from his home, The Village Hidden in the Leaves. He was now situated in the Land of Waves and staying at a small inn until he could find a more permanent dwelling. As he sat in his room, for the first time in what seemed like forever, he could actually come up with an idea for his first novel that he thought would turn out to be a best seller. Well, he hoped that it would do that well.

His idea for his book was simple. It would be about a courageous young ninja named Naruto who would never go back on his word. The book would be action packed and appeal to an audience who enjoyed stories that allowed them to venture into the world of the main character. So far, he had the first chapter written out. He was proud of the progress he was making, and sincerely hoped that he could continue along that path. If he did, his book would be published and available to the general public far sooner than he expected.

After a few days of staying in the inn, his bill became rather high. It turned out that staying at the inn was far too expensive for him, and he had limited funds. He needed to find a place of his own where he could continue to write in peace, but a place that wouldn't be too costly for him to live in.

Almost immediately after discovering that the inn he was staying in was burning a hole in his pocket, he ventured out to hopefully locate a somewhat permanent home for himself. Some of the houses he came across were either to big for just him alone, or too shabby. In turned out that locating a home wasn't the easiest thing to do, especially since he wasn't from the Land of Waves and therefore didn't know the area very well.

His search finally came to an end when he stumbled across a vacant cottage in a grassy field. He contacted a real estate agent about the home and it was opened for rent. The money he would have to pay monthly wasn't too much so he didn't hesitate before agreeing to pay that amount and live there for as long as he wanted to.

The cottage only had one bedroom, one bathroom, a small living area that was attached to an equally as small kitchen. He didn't need a space bigger than what he had. It was just him after all, and he had no intentions of starting a relationship with another woman anytime soon. He just wanted some time to himself so if he brought a woman into his life, he not only had to pay her attention, but he had to deal with all the drama that comes with being in a relationship. He absolutely hated ending things with Ayame because she was so calm and kind. She was unlike any woman he has ever been with, and that was a nice change for him.

He occupied his time by writing. It was extremely quiet in the day and it was even worse at night. The silence was deafening and he often found himself yearning for the noises that he would hear around the village. He missed the sounds of laughter and daily chatter on the streets, the shrill sound of the Ninja Academy school bell, the barking of dogs, and the pitter patter of footsteps. Never in his life did he think that complete silence would drive him insane.

He didn't know why, but his mind started to wander to the very first day when he became apart of team Sarutobi. That was so long ago and yet he could remember every single moment of that fateful day. The images he had of that day were crisp and vivid in his mind. He thought he would forget, but he never did. It was amazing how he could remember everything in such clarity. That was the day when he truly felt like he belonged...

* * *

Jiraiya woke up to the shrill sounds of his alarm clock. He grumbled as he was so unpleasantly dragged out of his slumber and extended his arm to turn off the annoying ringing device. He groggily rose into a sitting position in his bed and turned his head to look at the silenced alarm clock that was showing the time. It was definitely time to get up and get ready, for it was the start of a new day, but not just any ordinary day. That was the day when he would be placed into his new ninja squad. Excitement started to set in, so without any further hesitation, he sprung out of bed and headed to the bathroom to brush his teeth, take a shower, and get dressed for the day that he had ahead of him.

He emerged from the bathroom, freshly showered and ready to start the day. Before leaving the privacy of his room, he brushed through his wild spiky hair, but that task proved to be extremely difficult since he didn't brush his hair frequently. Many knots accumulated throughout all the days he didn't groom himself so therefore, he was having a hard time to untangle them.

"Jiraiya!" His mother shouted from downstairs. She was an impatient woman who was extremely miserable when things didn't go her way. Jiraiya had nothing in common with his mother except for his white hair, "If you don't come down here this instant and eat your breakfast you're going to be late for your first day with your new team!"

Jiraiya cursed under his breath as he heard his mother's shrill voice, "I'm coming mom!" He grumbled. He tried once again to untangle the last stubborn knot in his hair, but it a was too hard to do so without ripping out that patch of hair, so he shrugged his shoulders and left it as it was. He walked downstairs and saw is mother standing by the stove with a frying pan in her hand and an apron over her clothing, and his father sitting at the dining table reading the newspaper. Jiraiya had more in common with his father than his mother, for they shared the same happy-go-lucky personality. His father had spiky black hair and had the same obsidian eyes as Jiraiya. They were almost identical with the exception of their hair color. Jiraiya's parents were civilians who were never born with the talent to become ninjas, so Jiraiya was the only ninja in their family. His father told him how proud he was of him everyday, and even though his mother didn't want to admit it, she was proud of him too.

"Good morning mom and dad." Jiraiya said before taking his seat at the table.

"Well you sure took long enough." His mother scolded, "You know how bad it will look if you show up late for your first day? First impressions are lasting you know!"

"Take it easy on the boy Kagura." His father said, "He was just trying to look his best for his first day." He explained while noticing Jiraiya's attempt to tame his wild hair, "I don't blame him either. More than likely he'll meet pretty girls like the First Hokage's granddaughter. Now she's a beauty! I sincerely hope that you end up on her team." He said and nudged Jiraiya in the shoulder. Like Jiraiya, his father appreciated a good looking woman and wasn't afraid to admire the body of a woman.

"Just shut up and read your paper Gorou!" She snapped and filled a bowl with chunky oatmeal and placed it before Jiraiya, "Eat up. You'll need your strength."

"Oatmeal again?" Jiraiya whined, "You made oatmeal everyday for the past month mom!"

"Quit complaining and eat!"

"Go easy on your mother Jiraiya." Gorou started, "You know oatmeal is the only thing your mother can cook without burning." He teased and buried his face into the newspaper to prevent making eye contact with his now infuriated wife.

"You're lucky that I even cook for you! You're so ungrateful it's sickening!" Kagura shouted before pouring herself a bowl and sitting in her spot at the table.

"So Jiraiya." Gorou said to grab his son's attention, "Are you excited?"

"Extremely." He smiled, "Now that I'm out of that stupid Academy I can go on missions outside of the village and be a real ninja."

"You have to be careful you know Jiraiya." Kagura said softly. She was obviously worried for her son's safety. She knew many ninjas who died while on missions, and she would be absolutely devastated if anything like that were to happen to her one and only son. She was hard on him, but she loved him more than life itself, "You could end up in a dangerous situation and I just want you to be safe."

"I will be mom." He said before eating his final spoonful of oatmeal, "I gotta go." He rose to his feet and placed his empty bowl into the sink, "Wouldn't want to be late." He said and made his way to the door.

"Good luck Jiraiya!" His parents called after him.

He nodded his head and made his way over to the Academy. He had a big day ahead of him and he was ready to take the bull by the horns and discover what the day had in store for him.

He arrived at the Ninja Academy and sat himself down in the classroom, awaiting the arrival of the sensei who would tell them which teams they were on. He was hoping to be placed into a strong team of people who he could get along with easily. More than anything in the world, he wanted to make life long friends who would always have his back. He never had any siblings, so his teammates would be the closest people to siblings he would ever have.

For what seemed like forever, he sat in his seat and watched other children his age socialize with each other. It was as if he was the only one without a friend, for nobody really wanted to associate with him due to his track record. He was known around the village as a pervert because he was caught multiple times peeking at girls in the hot springs. He couldn't help it though, he inherited that bad habit from none other than his father. He thought he was the only one without a friend until he spotted a pale boy with long, straight, jet black hair sitting in the corner by himself, staring into oblivion. He was expressionless so it was hard to tell if he was happy or sad. It was kind of strange to see him there all by himself, but for some reason Jiraiya hoped that he was on his team.

Finally the sensei walked in and silenced the noisy room. Jiraiya was anxious to hear his name and the other two young ninjas who would be on his team, so instead of sitting still, he was fidgeting with his fingers and tapping his foot with great expectancy.

"I will now announce the newly formed ninja squads." The sensei began and started to call out the names of the team members.

Four teams later, Jiraiya's name was called.

"Jiraiya, Orochimaru, and Tsunade Senju will be on the same team under the command of the Third Hokage, Hiruzen Sarutobi." The sensei said.

All eyes were on the newly formed trio. Everybody seemed to be jealous of them because the Hokage was their sensei. They were sure to become strong ninjas under his supervision. Jiraiya was more than excited about the team he ended up on. He was teamed up with the black haired boy who he wanted on his team initially, and the granddaughter of the First Hokage. Perhaps his team could become like a second family to him.

"Now that you know who your teammates are, wait here for your sensei." The sensei walked out the room and the young ninjas waited for their assigned sensei to emerge through the door.

A few minutes passed and Jiraiya, Orochimaru, and Tsunade were the only ones left in the room. None of them exchanged words with each other so the room was as silent as can be. The door creaked open suddenly and there stood the Third Hokage. Jiraiya was in awe for he has never in his life been in such a close proximity to the man who ruled over the Leaf Village. He was the strongest ninja in all the land and Jiraiya was proud to be in his presence.

"You three must be my students." He said with a smile on his face.

"Yes we are." Tsunade spoke up, "I'm so glad that you're my sensei Lord Hokage."

"I'm glad to have you too Tsunade." He said and patted her on the head before turning to the others, "Now, how about we go to the training field to get to know each other a little better?" He suggested and walked through the door with Tsunade by his side and Jiraiya and Orochimaru trailing behind them. Tsunade was the only one he seemed to know. Jiraiya wondered how they knew each other already, but assumed that his question would be answered when they got to the training field.

They arrived at the field that was empty except for three stumps that stood side by side in the middle of the grassy field. It was a very peaceful, lush environment to be in. The perfect place to train.

"Now that we're all here, how about we get to know each other. I'll start first." Sarutobi said, "All of you probably know this, but my name is Hiruzen Sarutobi. I'm the Third Hokage and now your sensei. I enjoy seeing the younger generation grow into fine ninjas and I dislike it when people are in disagreements that could lead to war." He said, "Now that you know me, you three can introduce yourselves. Tell me your name, what you like, your dislikes, and your hobbies."

"I'll start." Tsunade declared, "My name is Tsunade Senju. I like to read medical books because one day I want to become a medical ninja. I dislike annoying people, and I guess you can say that reading is my hobby." She said.

Jiraiya was in awe of her beauty. She had straight blonde bangs that framed the sides of her face and her hair was pinned into a high ponytail. Her eyes were brown, like the color of honey, and even though she was flat chested, she was perfect in his eyes.

"Hi there I'm Jiraiya." He said while extending a hand to her, "You can send me love letters later."

He watched as her face became red with anger. He was almost certain that she would punch him, but thankfully she didn't. Instead she said, "In your dreams loser." And walked away from him to stand beside Sarutobi without even shaking his hand.

"Okay." Sarutobi said, "What are your likes, dislikes, and hobbies Jiraiya?"

"I like good looking girls, I dislike ugly girls, and my hobby is doing research." He said without a shame in the world.

"Seriously?" Sarutobi asked sarcastically before moving on to Orochimaru, "And you?"

"My name is Orochimaru. I don't particularly have any likes, I dislike many things, and I don't have a hobby. Instead I have a dream. That dream is to learn all the jutsu known to man."

"Very ambitious Orochimaru." Sarutobi said in bewilderment.

Jiraiya never heard Orochimaru speak until now, and what he got from Orochimaru's speech was the understanding that he was a very strange guy. It was bad enough that he looked strange, but the fact that his behavior was strange made it ten times worse.

"How about we start training then." Sarutobi said and held out two bells before the trio, "In my hand are two bells. That means-"

"That one of us will get tied to the stump if we fail to get a bell." Orochimaru finished Sarutobi's sentence.

"You're very sharp Orochimaru." Sarutobi complimented.

"Say Tsunade, if I get a bell will you go out with me?" Jiraiya asked, hoping that Tsunade would say yes.

"Alright but when you don't get a bell stop bothering me okay!" Tsunade said with her nose up in the air.

"Oh yeah! This is gonna be a piece of cake!" Jiraiya said happily.

"I want you three to come at me with the intent to kill." Sarutobi explained and the trio readied themselves to attack. Jiraiya was determined to get a bell, because that meant that he would be awarded with the opportunity to go out with Tsunade.

Sarutobi jumped out of their view and they proceeded to come up with a strategy to get a bell from the Hokage. It wasn't going to be an easy task, but with careful strategic planning, it was possible to actually retrieve a bell. Jiraiya was the only one who didn't really plan anything through. He was reckless and jumped out into the open without any thought. He fell for the most obvious of traps, such as seeing a bell all by itself in broad daylight and picking it up. He was fooled by the ridiculous trap and when he was bending down to pick it up, thinking that he won a bell, his foot was caught in a rope and resulted in him dangling upside down from a tree branch.

At the end of the day, Orochimaru and Tsunade each got a bell, but none was left for Jiraiya. As a result, he was tied to the stump and forced to stay behind to get a lecture from Sarutobi while Tsunade and Orochimaru were free to go home.

"Well Jiraiya." Tsunade said while dangling her bell in front of Jiraiya's face, "Looks like I won our little wager. Now you have to stay away from me." She teased.

"Oh shut up you flat chested troll!"

"What did you say you egg headed perv?!" Tsunade shouted while dragging the neckline of his shirt in an angry manner.

"Okay that's enough you two." Sarutobi parted the two before they killed each other. He just wanted a team that would get along, but instead he had three young ninjas, two of which barely knew each other and yet bickered, and one who was just indifferent towards everyone and everything, "Tsunade, you and Orochimaru can go home now."

Tsunade held up her bell to Jiraiya once again and stuck out her tongue in a mocking manner, "Bye!"

Jiraiya watched as his teammates walked home while he was stuck to the captivity of the stump.

"Tsunade is obviously your favorite." Jiraiya grumbled under his breath, but Sarutobi managed to hear.

"What are you talking about?" Sarutobi asked, "I don't have any favorites."

"Yes you do. You knew Tsunade from before. That's why you knew her name and not mine nor Orochimaru's. She's obviously your favorite so just admit it."

"I only know her because she is the granddaughter of the First Hokage and I knew the Senju family very well. That doesn't make her my favorite."

"Oh." Jiraiya said feeling like an idiot for not thinking about that.

"If you want to be a good ninja, you have to stop falling for all those obvious traps." Sarutobi lectured, "I have no doubt in my mind that you can become a splendid ninja. You just have to train harder and find your purpose for being a ninja." He explained.

Before the sun set that day, Jiraiya was released from the confinements of the stump and was free to go home. His parents wondered why he went home so late, but he was too embarrassed to tell them that he was the only one of his team who failed to get a bell on their very first test. His father was thrilled to hear that Tsunade was on his team, but little did he know that she hated every bone in his son's body. Jiraiya decided to heed Sarutobi's words and discover his purpose for being a ninja. It didn't take him too long to come to the conclusion that sweeping girls off their feet with his awesome ninja skills was his purpose of being a ninja. It was pitiful, but at the time, that's what he thought was his purpose. One day, he hoped that he could win over Tsunade, and for years he held onto that hope.

* * *

That day was one of the most memorable days in his life. Even though he was the weakest link, he felt a sense of belonging when he was with his team. They faced life and death situations together, fought together, laughed together, and had each other's backs. They were like siblings when everything seemed to be so simple, but they were all grown up now, and walking different paths. Jiraiya was trying to find his true destiny, Tsunade was trying to live her life and survive with Shizune, and Orochimaru was walking down a path of destruction and pure evil. How times have changed.

Jiraiya put his pen down, and walked out onto the small patio of his cottage. He gazed out onto the field and admired the beauty of the lush greenery, the chirping birds, and the fluttering butterflies. The world was truly an amazing, beautiful place, and he had a first hand experience of it all in his backyard. How he wished he could share it with his childhood friends.

From that day on, memories of different events of his childhood invaded his mind. He thought that he could escape it all, but it turns out that no matter where he went, or how far away from the village he ventured, his memories would still be fresh in his mind. One does not simply forget about the most memorable time in their lives, no matter how much he tried, he would never forget. His memories followed him everywhere and refused to leave him alone.

He returned to his desk to continue to write in his solitude. Despite the fact that he was fully engrossed in what he was writing, images of his childhood self flashed before his very eyes. For the first time in a long time, he didn't feel alone. He was by himself, but his memories kept him company. A smile graced his face, and he continued to write with his memories ever present.

* * *

**So that was a Jiraiya filled chapter. **

**I hope you enjoyed reading it because trust me, once I started to write this chapter, I couldn't stop. **

**Thanks for reading and remember to leave a review.**

**Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo**


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